TIGERS RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINES
WILD Scenes ensued at Stoopsville Town Oval and Municipal Park as Pimpinio recorded their first win for the year.
After being behind for most of the game, the Tigers stormed home against the tiring Excitement Machines, to be in front by 149 points at the final siren.
“Let’s get shitfaced! Raaaaaaaargh!” – Tigers Captain, Jake Lloyd
Tons to Henderson, Reid, Ebert, Shiels, Lloyd, Gray and a match-high (except for Cripps and screw that guy) 137 to Walters made this a game to remember for the long-suffering Tigers fans.
Brown, Minchington and Cameron all posted sub-fifty scores, but more than made up for it by demolishing the Excitement Machine’s clubrooms after the game.
“It was a ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■, the way they broke all the stuff. ■■■■, I laughed.” – perennially under-achieving backman, Jake Carlisle.
The traveling crowd also went completely bugshit as they cheered their team home, scoring an impressive seven ground exclusions, two assaults (allegedly over whether Brandon Ellis is a backman or just shit) and 31 counts of public urination.
“Round friggin’ EIGHT you weak bastards!” - cheer squad leader Scott Stevens spoke through tears of the club’s amazing victory
“I don’t reckon, mate, look, shut up. I’m tryin’ to tell you, cause you don’t know. Mate. Mate. What was I saying? Shut up, you guys, I’m trying to to…FIFTEEEEEEN HUNDREEEEEEEED!
YOU ■■■■■■ BEAUTAY!
No, shut up. I’m being serious. I don’t reckon we’ve scored 1500 since I was playing for them.
And that’s a very, very long time ago.”