Flat Track Bullies
8pm, Sunday 25 June 2017
Wild scenes erupted at the Dave O’Neil Memorial [check this, pretty sure he’s still alive. – ed.] Oval as the Pimpinio Tigers pillaged, plundered and were quite forward with the local ladies on another eventful road trip.
Concerns of overcrowding for the blockbuster 14th vs 15th clash turned out to be unfounded.
Posting a season high 1546, the Tigers once again proved that bottom teams should not take them lightly. Unless of course they are stone-motherless last, in which case they’ll only scrape in for an embarrassing sub 1100 draw.
Unfortunately, Tigers players took this sign literally.
In a stirring team performance, just two players posted less than 60, Jamie Macmillan and James Stewart. Not that anyone thought any less of them. It was fine. Really.
How many losers play for Pimpinio, kids?
In fact, with slightly cannier team selection the Tigers could have broken the 1600 barrier.
“We thought we’d give Ah Chee a run in the magoos, and the difference between Berry and Macmillan was negligible. It’s not as if scoring 1600 means that much to us,” lied coach wimmera1.
“We can’t wait for next week. Travelling again. The more hammered we get, the better we play. And this time it’s all the way to New Zealand! Oh my god, we are gonna go nucking futs!”
Captain Jake Lloyd said the team had, “no specific plans” on how to celebrate this week’s win.