#21 Dyson "Good Onya Guys" Heppell


#4466

I hope he doesn’t end up in a similar to Joe Dan.


#4467

I don’t think he was having an inplant


#4468

So looking at Dyson’s stats on the AFL website.
He has had 11 kicks, 14 handballs and 6 clangers.
How does that add up to 84% Disposal Efficiency?


#4469

Fair point.

Although, unlike Heffsgirl, I am well known for erring on the side of niceness and civility.
Sometimes my inherent politeness can be my downfall.


#4470

Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.


#4471

:joy::joy::joy:

ok then, who was the mod that used to go by the same username?


#4472


Dyson Heppell’s kicking

I reckon this has been suspect all season and it was apparent to me again today. Heppell may be better off being a setup man through the middle, dishing off to people who can actually kick.

I am sure that his efficiency isn’t that bad overall, and a quick check shows me that he is running at around 64 percent efficiency this season. He was right there again today at just over 63% but he turned it over a couple of times at crucial moments.

In the second quarter, the Bombers were once again in control early and opened up a couple of goal lead. Heppell marked at half back and went to make a regulation 30 metre kick along the wing. It didn’t get 30 metres as Harry Morrison chipped in and marked. He hit Puopolo, who sent the Hawks back inside 50 where Isaac Smith roved a spill and snapped a goal.

Late in the game, Bellchambers marked in the middle from the Bombers’ kick in. He handed to Heppell and instead of going direct, Heppell decided to be a little bit fancy. He had options down the ground and had McDonald-Tipungwuti running down to crumb if he elected to go to the one-on-ones. He didn’t elect to do that.

He spotted Jake Stringer between wing and half forward and opted to go toward him. I say “toward him” because the ball dodnt actually get near him. It rolled straight out of bounds. The Bombers were 16 points behind at this stage and they needed to take a risk and put the pressure on. Heppell’s horrible kick took the pressure off the Hawks.

He was absolutely obliterated at stoppages by Tom Mitchell in the first half, and needs to do more as the leader of his club. Kicking like an Under 15 aint helping the Bombers at all.

So, Mr Heppell, here’s the remedy:

It doesn’t matter how good you are otherwise, it’s downright disgraceful that an Essendon Captain should be so incompetent at kicking the football.

Go away at season’s end, Mr Heppell, and learn how to kick. And in the meantime, change your look. You’re not an effete wanker, a dreamy would-be “poet”, you’re Captain of what should be the best football team in the country — highly skilled, tough and ruthless — so look the part:

Get a crewcut and grow the beard back.


#4473

Go away at season’s end, Mr Heppell, and learn how to kick. And in the meantime, change your look. You’re not an effete wanker, a dreamy would-be “poet”, you’re Captain of what should be the best football team in the country — highly skilled, tough and ruthless — so try and look the part:

Get a crewcut and grow the beard back.

■■■■ off, Mr Nobody.


#4474

Like you to say that to Jobe Watson. Maybe you should just completely go away.


#4475

Is your memory that short, IT ? Jobe Watson did exactly what Dyson Heppell should do — he went away off season and worked on his kicking problems — and solved them.


#4476

Come on, Deckham — did you even read the piece I quoted ? You’re no idiot — you’re entitled to disagree with me, but the good old argumentum ad hominem is not the only response you’re capable of, surely to God !


#4477

Wasn’t directed at you, but to the author.
I have no issue with anyone critiquing - or even criticising, our players or our captain.
I don’t particularly like self-important cheap shots about players’ appearance, made to generate controversy and clicks though, and therefore reserve the right to serve up similar cheapies - he can go ■■■■ himself.


#4478

it always comes back to ‘carrying an injured for half the season’.

why can’t we just accept that we can rest players who are injured? our finals hopes were a thread since the half way point of the game, surely we could just rest him and give someone else a shot? especially at his role on hbf.

the loss of leadership would hurt but it gives someone a chance to step up.


#4479

Barely improved it by that much, he was still a reasonably poor kick, the only difference was he decided to not try and do pin-point passes, that’s all that Dys needs to work on. What he went away and worked on was his fitness and strength in the tackle and to increase his brilliance with handballs out of packs.

Also why didn’t the guy write an article about how brilliant the Captain has been since round 9? Why wait for a bad game to write an article. It is cheap and it is lazy.


#4480

Exactly right. It’s weak. In fact it’s worse than weak, it’s the cowardly cheap shot 50m off the play because you’re getting beaten and you don’t have the balls to do anything about it.

Not a word about it when when we win, but as soon as we lose Dys’ hair is an issue. Those who write it, agree with it or think it’s OK to post here can FRO.


#4481

I’m yet to see a brave punter mock a player’s appearance - from anywhere closer than behind a screen/keyboard. When that happens, I’ll be sure to bring something a little more sophisticated as a counter-argument.


#4482

And they’re the people who say we need more mongrels in the team…knocking blokes out off the ball.


#4483

A player who is running in the first 2 in the B and F is the least of our problems - Disappointing that Mitchell cleaned him up, though this has happened to most of his opponents - Anyway it freed up Merrett to dominate.


#4484

The remedy is Johnny Unitas


#4485

Honestly, if that’s the way he wants to look and his hair like it is, is important to him. What the hell has it got to do with anyone else, as long as its not in his face and he can’t see. FGFS!!!