You will never completely change the male way of thinking and in fact the female way of thinking - We waste far too much money on respect and responsibility education and similar - Yes they can have a small influence but will not 100% change all - The best we can hope is to this group of people to keep their thoughts as private as possible, and definitely not in the public domain.
Same here with the conversations. Had an interesting one (before the Barry Hall thing) with a mixed group of friends, ages ranging late 20s to mid 60s. The question was asked, which females in the group had NEVER been groped? There were 9 females and every one of them had been at least once in their lives, and even more commonly, smutty or derogatory comments made towards them.
Think about that for a minute. That is unwanted, unsolicited, sexually explicit touching or verbal intimidation/abuse from an unknown male or group of males. In the schoolground, at the workplace, some on public transport, in clubs or bars. The point is it happens anywhere, anytime, in any situation. Females grow up with the constant threat of physical or verbal abuse on a daily basis, to which men are not exposed.
The interesting thing was all 9 males in the group were astounded by this. They were unaware of how prevalent this behaviour is. Probably because the majority of men are NOT like this. Also because women generally donât speak of it happening to them personally. In fact, none of the ladies had ever spoken of this to their partners. When asked why, the answer was the uniform. Embarrassment, humiliation and a sense that they couldnât do anything about it anyway.
It permeates every level of society and the mindset needs to change. Itâs happening slowly with the advent of the Me Too campaign and the outrage at the rape and murder of Jill Meagher and Euridyce Dixon and subsequent public gatherings as well as the tv advertisment about calling out this type of behavior amongst your mates. (As insipid as it is, itâs a start.)
I guess everyone, male and female, needs to be more aware and stop giving tacit approval to this type of behavior however minor it seems. The cumulative effect of these single acts of disrespect have created, as you say @jonovdp, a toxic culture.
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As Sarah Hanson Young said on the 7.30 report tonight, she is in a privileged position and could speak out, going on to summarise the s m u t
hurled at her in Parliament.
Also time to leave out the qualified âIf I have offended youâ bit in apologies forced out of people.
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Best thing about footy commentary at the moment is Jimmy Bartel. Have heard him a couple of times recently and he adds so much value.
For example his comments yesterday regarding stoppages and how Goldstein vs Bellchambers was going to play out was such good insight. Canât say I have ever thought about a left handed ruckman and how it complicates setups until he started talking about. Nor have I ever noticed Goldstein is a left handed ruckman previously.
Letâs hope he keeps it up and doesnât fall into the blokey culture trap.
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valid.
but best thing is still jason bennett.
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Without going into too much detail; as a Social Worker, I worked in a family violence service for ten years.
Ive case managed mothers and children who had to leave the perpetrator of violence in their home. I have talked to thousands of high school students about sexual relationships. I have run young menâs programs for blokes that are in the juvenile justice system. I have talked to hundreds of young women about setting boundaries with men in their life.
The thing that angers me when men take no responsibility for their behaviour, is that they think itâs all in isolation. And itâs just a âfew nut cases that make us all look badâ. Trust me, young men are watching and learning. Young men are in desperate need of positive male role models. They are in desperate need of meaningful conversations about what it means to be a man.
Young men are seeking out prnography as sex education. They are being initiated into manhood on end of season footy trips when they turn 18. They are sending girls dck pics in the expectation they get a picture back. They are desperate for male role models. They are simply not getting them. They are learning and watching. They reenact how they think a man behaves. And They think status is built on how many girls theyâve slept with.
Last but not least. Iâve worked with young sexoffenders who are set for prison time. Their behaviour is learned. Sure, they have significant underlying issues and personality disorders. But they have learned the behaviour from older role models. I garruntee these comments that Hall made on the radio, it hasnât turned someone into a rapist. But it definitely reinforces it as acceptable. These blokes use every bit of justification for what they do, from external sources.
I solute the psychologists working with these guys, because itâs the most challenging work you will ever do.
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A young maleâs role model needs to be his father.
Everything else above is a bunch of drivel. Society cannot step into the shoes of the father.
THE BOYS
And when the father is absent or dead, what should happen then?
Excellent post.
Something that really gets my goat is when an attacker is described as âmentally illâ. Doing that just makes some people write it off as âoh something was wrong with that one so the rest of us are fineâ. Bull fkng sht. Itâs a copout and a disgraceful one at that.
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Itâs interesting. I remember when I first joined blitz in 2013, it was very much a boys club. Every second thread had references to women some guy or other wanted to â â â â . Most of it was harmless fun, some of it was Barry Hall levels of cringeworthy, all of it was intimidating and unwelcoming.
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What a load of rubbish.
The father may be one of the most important influences but there are a multitude of other people who can provide a role model for behaviour.
One example when I was only 11 and which I remember clearly and profoundly 30 years later occurred at a carton and Essendon game in the eighties.
A carton supporter had shouted some racial abuse at Michael Long. My dadâs friend (a Carlton supporter) stood up and told him to shut his filthy mouth, that he was a disgrace and embarrassment to his club and if he heard anything more from him he would take it up further with the club and the stewards.
It left me with a clear understanding about what was appropriate and acceptable and I still admire Peter for doing it. He probably wouldnât even remember it but it goes to show how these things can make a difference.
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This isnât true though.
Yes the vast vast majority of both sexual violence and domestic violence is perpetrated by people they know. Yes everything that has been written in this threads about rape culture, toxic masculinity etc fully applies and all men need to take responsibility.
But there is a small minority of crimes perpetrated by absolutely sick individuals. The Ivan Milats, Ted Bundys and Adrian Bayleys of the world are physcopaths and broken. I donât think this is a cultural issue with these people.
Of course you donât want to overplay mental issues with all cases. But sexual violence and murder of strangers is way, way outside the normal behaviour of most of us. They likely are very sick people.
I get more annoyed when lawyers trot out excuses like alcoholism or drug addiction to excuse someone from committing violent crimes. Not an excuse in my book.
And the lawyer for the guy arrested for murdering Eurydice Dixon trots out the autism excuse. Apparently that was news to the people around him and the autism awareness group.
In my untrained eye too, the fact that Gargasoulas would prefer to go to a psychiatric institution rather than prison would tend to indicate that heâs not mentally unfit to stand trial.
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So where in society, or who for that matter, condones rape and murder of women by men? No men are teaching other men to do this, itâs against the law for a reason. It is unacceptable. This is where people start conflating everything, and this is what I canât stand. (Iâd also suggest itâs why people crack it with some of the idiot judges giving out light sentences for violent crimes, but I digress.) These horrific murders, are virtually irrelevant to someone making inappropriate or sexist comments, especially in cases of random attacks. Do you honestly think someone has taught these people murder and rape is ok? Sick and dysfunctional people are everywhere, you cannot teach or unteach them anything, their actions are not societyâs fault. This is what â â â â â â everyone off about Lisa Wilkinsonâs stupid rant. It was completely idyllic, and ignored reality. You cannot âfixâ these people, they actually know their actions are wrong, but they are not rational. In this world, you have to look out for yourself, just as you donât leave your doors unlocked when you leave the house. Itâs just an unfortunate reality.
I understand rape in marriage wasnât against the law until the 90âs, I understand it was a completely different world for women in the workplace, and I say this as someone who works in what was previously a manâs world, and sometimes still is. I am not saying there are no issues with sexism, or that there havenât been, but we need to get some perspective and discuss things in the right context. Montagna and Hall being completely disrespectful is one thing, and the fact everyone found those comments to be disgusting basically states that society does not accept nor teach that being disrespectful is ok.
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what absolute dribble.
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Nope.
My brother in laws father left him and his mum and sister when he was very young. His role model is his mum and grandma and he has turned into a fantastic bloke.
He is a Collingwood supporter though
I got flamed when I commented in the âhot chicksâ thread here not so long ago.
If there is one thing this whole Barry Hall fiasco has taught me, is Blitz needs the Hot Chick thread back.
Catch up, itâs the Hottest Indian thread now
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