I am the very model of an executive officer
I’ve got my finger in more pies than Jamie ■■■■■■■ Oliver
Need twelve clubs to veto and I have fourteen in my pocket but
I’ve never met an auditor with anything to monitor
If I get unpopular my brother’s in the media
And if there’s still a problem I just call the Age’s gossiper
Where the money goes it would confound the great philosophers
When I change a rule I always consult my astrologer
I’ve never been accused of ever mixing up a metaphor
I have my finger on the pulse of the social thermometer
When my friends get gropey I have packages to offer her
Concussion is a myth so just ignore the stupid coroner
In short in matters corrupt, dishonourable and dodgier
I am the very model of an executive officer!