AFLX Draft - you won’t believe which four players are going to suffer Windy Hill Flu


#161

Don’t suppose you want to put up a compare and contrast table of the relevant stats you pulled from annual reports for this.

Or did you come across it somewhere else


#162

Disappointed that Essendon’s AFLX players haven’t come down with a virus or slight niggle.


#163

I think I read it in an article a while back summarising the respective annual reports. I’ll take a look for it


#164

Hahahahahahahaha!!!
Jesus fkn Christ… are these fkrs for real???
Nice comment from Rohan Connolly though…


#165

Link here if you want comedy gold in the comments


#166

AFLX is legit taking the ■■■■ out of itself. The AFL is a joke for allowing this version of the sport to even exist. It’s like a bunch of 8 year olds hyped up on red cordial conceptualised it.


#167

It is for 8 year olds!


#168

The 8 year olds called, they are not interested.


#169

I like that Rock Paper Scissors is the tipping point.


#170

Accurate


#171

I CANT BELIEVE THE TOURNAMENT WITH 20 POINT GOALS AND CARTOON TEAM NAMES HAVE RELEASED ANOTHER NOVELTY RULE :open_mouth:


#172

AFLX is worth it just to watch everyone get worked up over it all.


#173

I can confirm that Americans and Indians consider this embarrassing too.

Won’t somebody think of the international market?!?


#174

:frowning:
His banner makes me feel sad and wrong.


#175

Hahaha, I just told Mrs. hambo and she responded as if she had been rehearsing all of those twitter reactions.


#176

X fails to mark the spot

Greg Baum

By Greg Baum

February 20, 2019 — 6.23pm

Marvel Stadium is Australia’s version of the magic lands at the top of Enid Blyton’s Faraway Tree . Last week’s cricket BBL fantasy land has moved on, to be replaced by an enchanted realm called AFLX. I do so hope that Joe, Beth and ■■■■■ made it down in time for tea.

X sounds like a truly marvellous place, “with an action packed line-up of activities including rock climbing walls, face painting, balloon artists, roving entertainment, giveaways plus much more”. That is not Blyton, but the AFL website.

It may or may not also feature football; at the time of writing, that was like the Faraway Tree, a bit up in the cloudy air.

Is it for players? No, they’re racing for the exits in their droves, giving rise to fears about a quorum. Star turn of the roving entertainment: the astonishing disappearing footballer. For every giveaway, a getaway, up over the climbing wall. A batch from Hawthorn appear to have developed “general soreness” in advance. Port Adelaide’s Robbie Gray felt a hamstring coming on weeks ago.

Is it for fans? If so, they’re scarcely racing for the entrances in droves. Ticket prices have been reduced, and AFL members can get in for free. So can kids. It’s the modern sports administrator’s infallible, all-purpose, go-everywhere, no-questions-asked alibi: it’s all for the kiddies.

But poor darlings: they’ve barely let the air out of their thundersticks and now they’re going to have to paint their faces all over again.

Is it for women? Can’t be, or else the AFL wouldn’t stage it at the same time as its still emerging women’s competition, surely? Surely?

Is it for TV? Well, der. But only a bit. The AFLX draft was pre-recorded and put to air 24 hours later, and no-one tumbled to it. You’d think that someone would have cared enough to leak it …

Is it to promote the game in the non-AFL states? That is, can they be lured away from their long-established, culturally-embedded contact football codes by AFL lite, sans the game’s two most distinct and saleable elements, 360-degree contact and high marking, in other words a shadow version of a code they don’t understand and don’t much care for anyway?

Is X for the international market, as we’re told, because it fits on a soccer pitch? But it occurs to us that there already is a code that is played on a soccer pitch, and it has built up quite a following of its own around the world, and if you give it a bit of time will probably do very well. It’s called soccer.

Is it specifically to expose the game in China? Um, do you think there’s much about the AFL that China doesn’t already know? Chances are there is a hacker or two in China who by now knows more about AFL than Leigh Matthews.

Is X for the AFL itself? Emphatically, yes. We think. Maybe. Perhaps. They’ll get back to us. Last year, the X series was between all 18 real teams across three nights, in three cities. This year, it’s four scratch teams, one city and one night, or as the AFL puts it, trying to make it sound preciously scarce, “one night only”.

That looks and sounds very much like what economists would call “negative growth”. That looks and sounds very much like the AFL saying what it has never said before: we were, um, you know, wro… wron …

Right, as we always are, except for the number of teams, the venues, the format and the rules.

This year, AFLX is all new, as distinct from last year, when it was all new. The teams will have funky names and guernseys. The stars are going to dress up as superheroes, or in Patrick Dangerfield’s case, dress down as a superhero. There’s going to be on each team a nominated game-changer, whose scores will count for double in the last five minutes, and no Carlton, you can’t have one.

There’s going to be … oh, honestly, who cares? With the big dance just around the corner, who among clubs, players and fans really gives a stuff about a pajama party? Why have we been tricked into allowing it to take up even this many column centimetres? It must be the kids.

The AFL can hype and pipe all it wants, but the true unknown about X is why?


#177

Noice.


#178

image


#179

I can’t wait for the statistical breakdown of the captain’s paper, rock, scissors form


#180

Does anyone know why Hurls is rolling with the nickname Rick.? Is it him just taking the ■■■■