April 2015: Massive Massive Month: Rate us 0-16 points

April 2015 is a huge month for the club. Hirdy is back, and will be under microscopic examination, While we play arch rivals Hawthorn Collingwood and Carlton as well as recent nemesis Sydney (aka the Buddy show).

Assuming no sanctions for the moment, give us your prediction of the number of points we will have on May 1 and why: Lid off or on. Doesnt matter. Time for the crystal ball.

I am going full lid off : 16. Because I think theres a genie in the bottle psychologically with our players and once that genie is let free, the team will blitz the opposition and that effect could easily last 1-2 months…

Swans: We will fight hard… but lose. Buddy will kick a lazy five and that will be the difference between the sides. Swans by 22
Hawks: Tough battle all day but in the end, we win a close one in a very similar situation to 2014. Essendon by 5
Pies: We win in a close one. We lead by 32 at three quarter time finish 9 points in front.
Blues: We just smash the blues. BJ steps up and kicks 6. Essendon by 71

Honestly, if we could be 3-2 after 5 rounds I would be very happy. 2-3 would even be ok.

I think 2 or 3 wins is possible. One from either Swans/Hawks and one or possibly two from Pies/Blues.

Round One - Buddy kicks 4 in the opening half but then does bugger all in the second half thanks to a genius tactical move by Hird to put a mirror in our backline. Jobe gets 52 possies. Ess by 22.

Round Two - Sam Bitchell gets a compound fracture in his eyelash in the first quarter and is subbed out. Trying something new, Isaac Smith attempts a hardball get and ruins a perfectly good pair of undies. Joe kicks 7. Ess by 36.

Round Three - Mick Malthouse carries on like the huge f**kin’ idiot that he is after Carlton realise that their list is awful. Jobe, Hep and BJ each get over 35. Ess by 78.

Round Four - The football world begins to realise what we have known for a while - Bucks is a rubbish coach. Dane Swan rumoured to be doing heroin and eating cheesy fries at half time. Zacka shines with 30 and 4. Ess by 57.

Round Five - St Kilda will do well to win a single game this year. They’re the new GC of 2011 and GWS of 2012. Ess by 187.

I know I’m gonna cop a lot of sh*t with these predictions but what can I say? I’m just the ‘lid-on’ type.

Realistic view mode: Sydney will beat us by a mere 3 goals. Everyone will be talking about how good Hawks are only for us to beat them and ‘surprise’ the public.

Should win the next two. So 12 points and a healthy % is expected.

Could you imagine the week before the Carlton game if we beat Swans and Hawks, We’d all be pretentious gits and it would be beautiful.

Fark it,

I’m putting the mozz on now.

There is no way we will lose to St Kilda this year. No way at all.

Can’t happen, won’t happen.

Fark the Saints, and Fark Carlton.

A reply to: @Henry’s Angry Pills regarding QuoteLink

Sydney always suck first few weeks.

Yep. And so does Buddy. And we’re usually pretty damn good.

If you looked at it mathematically, there is no better scenario for us to play Sydney.

I reckon we’ll go 3-1 heading into the St Kilda loss.

Sydney always suck first few weeks.

I reckon 4-8 out of 16. Lid on.

16 is not out of the question without injuries to key players. Would be interesting to get a price on that, may be worth a punt. Lid off.

A reply to: @David J Richardson regarding QuoteLink

We win all four. That means at the end of round four we have a total of 0 premiership points.

On the Friday before the round 17 game we win the trial, and therefore rocket from 6th to 2nd on the ladder. Giles and Bellchambers combine for 57 hit-outs and 4 goals the next day in front of a record crowd at Docklands. We get called racists but take top spot on the ladder, and never give it up.

Exactly my sentimonies. Cromulent prediction.

We win all four. That means at the end of round four we have a total of 0 premiership points.

On the Friday before the round 17 game we win the trial, and therefore rocket from 6th to 2nd on the ladder. Giles and Bellchambers combine for 57 hit-outs and 4 goals the next day in front of a record crowd at Docklands. We get called racists but take top spot on the ladder, and never give it up.

I’ll be Conservative…

Swans: 0
Hawks: 0
Pies: 4
Blues: 4

Edit: What was I thinking.

Swans: 4
Hawks: 4
Pies: 4
Blues: 4

LID OFF!

Hawks - Narrow win by the bombers 101 - 99…similar game to last year (14) but coming from behind in the last quarter…lid off Cooney stars
Sydney - Loss, but not blown away. Buddy & Umpires tear us apart go down by 30 points frees inside 50 swans 8 essendon 1…lid on
Carlton - Turn season back on positive note thumping the blues…lid back off
Collingwood - thump pies on Anzac day. Big spread in sundays HUN dissecting what happenned to the 2010 premiership side… lid off
Laverde stars on Debut and gets rising star nomination for round 4.
Summary after 4 ganes 12 points and close to top 4 with healthy % depending on other results.

I’m Lid On… always have been. It’s my defense mechanism that I twist into a belief that there is always room for improvement.

12 points. We’ll beat Sydney, Hawthorn, Collingwood, and lose to Carlton. Doesn’t get more lid on then that.

A reply to: @samwoods regarding QuoteLink

I'm Lid On... always have been. It's my defense mechanism that I twist into a belief that there is always room for improvement.

12 points. We’ll beat Sydney, Hawthorn, Collingwood, and lose to Carlton. Doesn’t get more lid on then that.

Defeatist!

I’ll take a 2 and 2 record and live to fight another month like September. The key is beating Melbourne and St.Kilda…

We could very well beat both of Hawthorn and Sydney but I think we are far more likely to beat the Swans than Hawks to be perfectly honest.

I think we’ll beat Sydney round one.

Round two vs Hawthorn is a 50/50 game but I’ll say we’ll win simply just because I think we’ll be far better next season.

The next two are easy beats.