Reasonably standard setting for cricket in the UK and evokes memories of my year of playing cricket up in Yorkshire. I’d invest in some of those hand warmers!
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Aerial view for you @Socks_and_Sandals
The outfield is definitely… undulating. But then, Scotland is partly known for its rolling hills right? 
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We used to play junior cricket on a ground affectionately known as “The Potato Chip”, had this massive hill going up towards the edge of the boundary, and on the other side a decline going down towards the boundary. Up in Olinda. Kalorama Oval I think it was called?
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A quick search of Google images indicates a certain chip like quality to the ground indeed!
I remember the Olinda Golf Course. A few of those greens were dynamite because of the slopes on them. One in particular, you needed Sherpa Tenzing as your caddy.
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OK - pre-season training 4 happened last night.
Well, it sort of happened. 5 degrees, grey skies and rain showers throughout the day presented us with a sodden Torrance House (why do I get the feeling I’ll be using that sentence an awful lot…?) last night.
However, despite the conditions, I did manage to get a pretty decent hit in and therefore further knock in the new Kashmir willow SS. I must be honest here, it’s not actually a bad stick, the ball absolutely pings off the sweet spot. It’s still a bit “tinny” around the rest of it, but I don’t plan on using those bits.
I do plan on taking a stanley knife to the bat and removing all traces of the word Kashmir though. Honestly - who advertises that? It’s embarrassing. I’m tempted to take all the stickers/extra tec off and give it a coat of oil actually, as Kashmir willow is notorious for drying out. I could then replace the stickers with Kookaburra Ghost stickers and pretend it’s my beloved which is still in a bag tucked away in one of my parents cupboards.
The stick:
Probably the highlight of last night was the arrival of another bloke called Stuart. Stuart would be mid 50’s and is a really nice bloke. I had a chat to him before everyone turned up, and he is just a lovely fella. His story goes that he was playing tennis with his wife over the back, heard the ball hitting the bat, and thought he’d come over and “gie it a bash”. Turns out he hasn’t played since he was a kid, but he’d love to get back involved. Then he pulled out some Gunn and Moore gear - the kind Steve Waugh used to use back in the day. My eyes lit up - I used to love Steve Waugh era GM stuff. The Cannon… wow what a bat. So we shot the ■■■■ a bit, and then JJ and El Capitan showed up.
Captain Stu asked new Stu what he was - bowler or batter. (Funny nobody ever asks if you’re a keeper…) Stu replied that he used to be a bit of a bowler back in his day - and funnily enough, I could see it. He’s maybe 6’2", wiry build. I was starting to get a bit of a “canny old medium pace trundler” vibe about him.
WRONG.
His first “delivery” consisted of him ambling up to the bowling crease, twirling his arms around a bit, throwing it 3 feet in front of himself, and then watching forlornly as it dribbled sadly up the pitch towards me. I very nicely played the ball back to him, didn’t make eye contact, and moved on. His second “ball” actually went backwards. He actually threw it behind himself. First time I’ve ever seen that. My heart really went out to the bloke, and I was quite concerned about him when he went in to bat.
This is where the story turns for the better Blitz - the guy can actually bat a bit. And that bat… wow! He middled a couple which absolutely flew out of the screws. The timing of a tennis player I guess! Fortunately/unfortunately, at this point the weather turned for the worse and we called it quits for the evening.
In other EKCC news:
- Still no fixture list released
- Subs are due. £120 for sports club membership, and ~£90 for cricket club subs.
- Kit is now available for purchase: Welcome to the East Kilbride CC Shop! (The hoodies look excellent!)
Cricket ain’t a cheap sport!
Oh and BTW - that bird on our crest is an Oystercatcher - I hope to Jeebus that isn’t our nickname. I can’t in all seriousness shout out “come on Oystercatchers”
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Lol.
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I hope none of you old blokes are like the oyster that went to the disco and pulled a mussel.
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You need to find a new site to pilfer jokes from. 
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That last one was a pearler.
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Shut your clams you lot.
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yep Kalorama. Played softball there and that downwards slope was a help and a hindrance!
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I think it was the 2nd or 3rd hole that was a par 3 straight down the hill. You could putt off the tee and still roll it on. You’d be thinking ‘How easy is this?’
Next hole, straight back up the hill. ‘Fark.’
They shut that course down a few years back.
there’s a nice off lead dog park there now 
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At least you are in Scotland and not at Headingley
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Only ever played there once, with some guys l taught with. One green was at best, difficult. One guy chipped on and then had 7 putts, going up hill. At one stage a putt rolled up, but was just short of the hole, by the time it stopped rolling it was off the green, behind him,
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We had a game called off up there when I was playing U12s because of the fog. It was so thick you couldn’t see a metre in front of you! But it’s a beautiful spot Olinda. My Uncle lived there for a while.
Early season cricket in England is an experience! There was a game when it was 12 degrees, I couldn’t function, had a long-sleeved woollen jumper and then a sleeveless one over the top of that when we were in the field. But the grounds and everything associated in playing league cricket up there is second to none. Any young cricketer, if you have the chance to go there and play a season or two there, do it!
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Love these cricket and golf stories. Keep them coming.
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Great thread Brem.
In 2005 I lived in Glasgow and worked at a pub in Partick, The Three Judges. One of the regulars was an English bloke named Norry who was probably in his late 50s or early 60s. From memory he worked as a primary school librarian but he also umpired local cricket. He would come in early before games for a couple of pints and would normally take a bottle of old speckled hen to keep in his pocket while umpiring, said it helped him see the ball better.
He must played somewhat too, as I remember him coming in with his kit bag and chasing people around the pub to whack on the ar.se with his cricket bat after a few too many drinks.
Great city Glasgow and some great characters.
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Great thread @brem06
Looking forward to your report on afternoon tea once the season gets underway. Sure to be a highlight.
How are the chips by the way?
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