Corrupt-a-wish, Blitz/EFC Style

Granted. But he derails the thread by granting every wish then asking a boomerang related one.

I wish we make top 4 next season.

Granted. But Collingwood win the flag.

I wish Fark Carlton would fold.

Granted: Fark carlton have folded after an AFL investigation into salary cap breaches which also embroils EFC, putting us onto the precipice of folding.

Wish: for the MSM AFL media to chill the fark out and report facts instead of drivel and opinion

Granted but you must have wild passionate sex with Caro and Barrett

Wish: The Brownlow Medal not have a red carpet arrivals special

Granted, but the guys have to wear mankinis and the women have to wear chewbacca outfits.

Wish; Random sink holes appear in the gardens of afl commissioners / officials houses.

Granted but they expose buried treasure and archeological finds and AFl commissioners are rewarded handsomley.

Wish: Deutsche Bank goes under we get another GFC and WADA & Swiss Lawyers lose millions.

Granted, but they’re all reimbursed from public funds.

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard and-and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises.

Granted, but for some unknown unsurprising reason it tastes like Fark Carlton and turns you off turkey lettuce mustard sandwiches forever.

I wish I was a Viking.

Granted. You were a Viking between the hours of three and five am on May 14, 1996.
And now you’re not.

I wish more people got Simpsons references.

Granted, but them getting them doesn’t necessarily mean they have to acknowledge or follow on with them so you never get that satisfaction.

I wish we had a 100 goal-a-year forward. Soon.

Granted, but them getting them doesn't necessarily mean they have to acknowledge or follow on with them so you never get that satisfaction.

I wish we had a 100 goal-a-year forward. Soon.

Granted but he can only kick it around the corner.

I wish we had poll

Granted, but them getting them doesn't necessarily mean they have to acknowledge or follow on with them so you never get that satisfaction.

I wish we had a 100 goal-a-year forward. Soon.

Granted but he can only kick it around the corner.

I wish we had poll

Granted but there’s only Heath Hocking options

I wish I had a pony

Granted, but it insists on sleeping in your bedroom, and sometimes on the end of the bed.

I wish I was a Rockstar that could wear leather pants in public.

Granted but your albums dont even make triple M’s hottest 100.

I wish I was a fit footy player.

Granted, but the good Lord only gave you a baby sized ■■■■■.

I wish I could walk on the Rings of Saturn.

Granted, but you have to listen to “Drops of Jupiter” non stop as you do so.

I wish there was more blitz/efc related wishes.

Granted, but not delivered in my post.

I wish I had a pet dragon.

Granted. But you go broke trying to supply your pet 80’s rock band with copious amounts of coke and loose women.
I wish Dave Culbert a career-threatening scandal he feels he is not guilty of and see how he deals with it.

Granted, but he overcomes it and becomes a media mega star.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but the leader of the peaceful world is Donald Trump.

I wish for an endless supply of Tim Tams.