Cucumber kills woman

Jennifer Keyte count your lucky stars

Woman dies after lover forgets to take cucumber out of her mouth FEBRUARY 26, 2016

A GERMAN man who allegedly killed his lover with a cucumber is now facing up to five years in prison.

Rica Varna died after Oliver Dietmann put the vegetable in her mouth — and left it there — after the two used it as a sex toy, the Daily Mail reported.

Dietmann, 46, who is on trial for negligent homicide, told the court in Mannheim that on July 19, 2014, he invited Varna, also 46, to his place, where they polished off four bottles of wine and several glasses of schnapps.

Dietmann admitted to putting the cucumber in her mouth, but said her death was an accident. “Suddenly I saw there was smoke coming from the kitchen,” he testified. “I forgot that I had put a piece of meat on the stove for my dog.

“I ran to the kitchen, fed my dog and then went on to the balcony to smoke a cigarette.”

By the time he returned to the bedroom, Varna was unconscious.

“I tried to get the cucumber pieces out of her mouth,” he said, adding that they were too mushy.

Medical experts said Varna fell into a coma after the cucumber cut off her breathing.

“The defendant must have known that he should not have left her for so long on her own,” prosecutor Reinhard Hoffmann said.

I thought eating veggies was supposed to be good for your health??

I wonder what type of cucumber it was.

So she had a cucumber in her mouth that had vag and or ■■■■ bits on it?

I love Blitz.

A nus and va gina are banned?

Tragic, but the question that had to be asked here is:

What sort of meat was he cooking for the dog?

how could she not get it out herself?

Somewhere the eveready bunny is still drumming quietly pleased.

how could she not get it out herself?

Maybe she was tied up, maybe she passed out/fell asleep from the alcohol, definitely more to it than what’s in the above story, otherwise yep agree, she could of taken it out herself.

There is a joke about tossing a salad in here somewhere

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I wonder what type of cucumber it was.

She should have gone for chives.

‘meat on the stove for the dog’, yeah right :wink:

I wonder what type of cucumber it was.

She should have gone for chives.

Spring onions would be better.

Those whacky Germans, so fun loving, and always willing to try something new, in the line of vegetables anyway.

how could she not get it out herself?

Maybe she was tied up, maybe she passed out/fell asleep from the alcohol, definitely more to it than what’s in the above story, otherwise yep agree, she could of taken it out herself.

Duh! Or why couldn’t she just eaten it?

Maybe she don’t like cucumber, I don’t.

It’s a fruit, not a vegeee.

Actually according to wikipedia, nothing is a vegetable and everything is a vegetable. Well what’s the point then in classifications?

Fruits are anything that comes from the mature ovary of the plant. Vegies are anything else, leaves, Stems, Roots etc.

I’m sure there’s a pun in their somewhere relating to this story, possibly including ovary and roots.