Going to the Football Solo

Most of my friends aren’t Essendon fans and/or have young family. What, am I suppose to not go to the footy?

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I heard tell of him, but never ran across him.

Mendoza and Frank Dunnell were bad enough.

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I’m going solo to every game from now on. The lady to my right offered to share her Subway with me and the lady on the left gave me a Mentos.

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But Buddy didn’t offer to share either of them with you…

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As in she offered you a 6 inch, or a bite. Cause those things is sloppy as tonne sharing.

For anyone that is a regular at subways, get your usual, and then add the sauce from the meatballs. The yanks call it marinara, not sure what it’s called here.

Now I have a lot of experience with this,

Lady on the Right will have oysters and champagne to share, live in a nice house, but probably as boring as batshite.

Lady on the Left, well Mentos is about it and a good sign that she is ready to rock, but will dominate your life and take total control.

Hmm, maybe join the Grog Squad.

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Are ‘gave me a mentos’ and ‘sharing a subway’ euphemisms these days?

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Unfortunately no. It was an actual Subway and an actual Mentos.

Oh. That’s nowhere near as good then

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I don’t understand why going to the footy solo is even a question. You want to go, you go. The end.

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Life gets interesting when you shove a Mentos in your Subway though, …

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Loner

You’re probably right but for some reason I always view the person going solo with suspicion. I think the roots of this go back to when I was a teenager. A mate and I wagged school and went into town to watch a movie. Big Trouble in Little China. There were hardly anyone in the cinema but we noticed this one person on their own in the back row, right up in a corner. we were about 4 or so rows from the back, near the middle. Far enough away but close enough if you know what I mean. Every now and then this person would make noises which didn’t seem to match what was happening on the screen. After a bit we got the impression he was trying to get our attention and we turned to see what he was up to and he was having a full-on pull. It made us very uncomfortable.

It made you very uncomfortable?? You don’t say!!

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Very much so. But who w*nks off to Big Trouble in Little China?

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This sort of stuff happens far less these days.

Thanks Internet.

I prefer going solo to matches, my essendon supporting mates annoy me when I go with them. They leave early and I always get into arguments with them. One of them used to bag Scott Lucas, and still pays out on Stanton. Will start taking my son once he is old enough to actually sit for a whole game.

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I with you there. Essendon supporters give me the sh*ts too.

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Han?

Agree. Love going solo at the footy. I prefer going to non essendon games with mates but when its essendon i want to fully focus. When watching essendon play interstate matches at home the missus is booted into another room.

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