I won a mechanical bull riding contest at half time at a Melbourne Storm game (against the Broncos, geddit?).
First you had to dance like an idiot in the crowd so they could select the contestants, and obviously I had an unfair advantage in that field.
I was, by a long way, The Worst mechanical bull riding contestant.
I was already wearing a Storm cap, the sponsors gave us another cap to wear while we were competing so I decided to put it on top of my hat, facing the other way. I have no idea why I did that. It looked completely ridiculous.
I was up third, so I had the opportunity to see how it was done. When to expect the big buck, to lean back, that sort of thing.
But when my turn arrived I was very nearly thrown off on the first gentle rise while the machine started getting into gear, and both hats fell off.
Shortly after that, I was unseated from the saddle but hung on, so I completed the rest of the ride sideways, with one leg hanging over the saddle.
Premiership full back Robbie Ross was the judge. Before the competition he asked us all what we'd do with the $500 if we won.
I told him my wife was expecting our first child soon and I'd use the money to buy a crib.
Whether it was that answer, or how ridiculous I looked that swung it my way, I don't know.
But when asked for his decision, Robbie wiped tears from his eyes, pointed, and said, 'That guy.'
I imagine the other three guys were pretty annoyed.
The weirdest thing about it all was that before the dancing even started, before the cameras had even started scanning the crowd, I had this feeling that I was going to win.
I used to rent those things out for a 'living' could kill a bloke with a flick of the controls.
When I was in vegas with my now wife we arrived a day early and had failed to book accomodation on a Saturday night when there was a big fight on and the town was crazy.
They offered us our room a day early for $500.
I looked at the GF and said, I ain't payin $500, we're going out all night.
Walked out of our hotel, and the casino across the road had a massive sign out the front "Bikini Bull Riding Comp $500 1st Prize"
Sometimes you gotta make the tough decisions.