Headlines I'd LIKE to see

 CARLTON ARE FARKED

 

Carlton caught in doping scandal involving Dank.

Fairfax sources reveal that Stephen dank supplied HGH and anabolic steroids to sacked superstar Josh Bootsma, Carlton are demanding a refund as only one part of him received a boost.

Patrick Smith's Ice Bucket Sabotaged

ISIS capture

Vlad

Wilson

Gil

Andruska

Middleton

Kb

Ralph

Barrett

Smith

Wilson and Smith caught naked together and smoking bongs

Needs BOLD

Wilson gets ****** ** ** ***** *** *** *** ***** ***** *** ******* *** ** * ********** **** **** ***** *****

ISIS capture
Vlad
Wilson
Gil
Andruska
Middleton
Kb
Ralph
Barrett
Smith

but lets them go because theyre "not real journalists"

ISIS capture
Vlad
Wilson
Gil
Andruska
Middleton
Kb
Ralph
Barrett
Smith

 

We do not deal with terrorists.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ISIS, on the other hand…

Barrett Becomes Insomniac When His Lights Stop Working

Andruska diagnosed with alzheimers

Paul Conners Appointed New AFL Integrity Officer

Paul Conners Appointed New AFL Integrity Officer

I thought he was already

Swisse supplements sponsors of Brownlow red carpet.

 

Oh ??

Andruska diagnosed with alzheimers

I thought she was already.

Ryder traded to GWS for Smith, O’Rourke and pick 26.

Barrett exposes AFL.

“CW resigned due to ill health brought on by stress in pursuing James Hird” … TheAge

Show Cause Notices are found to be nonsense on stilts.

The Age.  

Barrett Becomes Insomniac When His Lights Stop Working


Not nearly enough love for this post!

SCUFFLE BETWEEN HIRD AND CONNORS LEAVES THE MANAGER UNCONSCIOUS.

Fire system malfunction causes massive sprinkler damage at Fairfax HQ.
Wilson - "I'm Melting!"