Call the “trade whisperer”/trade radio etc, and say :
Heard a rumour Ben King/Christian Petracca/insert current gun player wants to badly get to Essendon, but Dodoro will only offer a late first rounder and the other team says he’s not playing fair.
Sit back and listen to all the anger for the next two weeks, and smile.
Vegas, baby.
I’d do nothing while Rob Forster Knight did everything for me.
I’d be doing a couple of swaps. Brayden Ham to Footscray in return for Bontempelli, and Alec Waterman to Melbourne for Bayley Fritsch. All clubs would be well-satisfied I reckon.
World peace
Don’t tell Jared kushner
Sign Nino as an advisor…
Hate to say it but the fax may have been sent off a little late for old Yasser.
Being a little more realistic, if Jack Gunston could be enticed he’d be well worth going for. He’s high quality, he’s ready to go, he’s exactly the sort of player to spend a couple of years alongside Jones and Cox and a few others, showing them how to play as a marking forward.
I’d stroll up to Brendan ΜcCarntney’s front porch and lay a large peanuty log on it.
Light goes on and Brendan comes out. Probably wants an explanation. Angry. Confused I expect.
Explain that it was really Jason McCartney you were after but, come to think of it, consider this the first move in an interstate game of 4D chess and the log is a rook. Tap my head as he tries to assimilate this, and walk away pointing at him.
It’s another way to win trade week I guess.
I’d send @benfti a message that he could draft a player of his choice over the next hour only.
Also, I’d time this for an hour that @benfti had no access to his messages.
If you could jacket for an hour…
Go back in time and jump the pies in last night’s draft!!!
Make love on the spongey floor for one hour.
I’d recruit Oliver instead of Parish.
Give the young blonde lady who works for him ( sorry don’t know her name) a huge Payrise.
Carlton.
Slowly.
Adopt Ben King
