If you were an AFL Footballer... Who would you be?

Probably can run all day without a lot of pace, good negator in the ruck, a straight but not long kick.

Being an unspectacular tall player who didn’t mind the run with role, I’m thinking a poor man’s Mark Bolton.

I was what was known as a rugged type.
Utility.
Peaked at 18,than found booze and ciggies and women.
Managed to play over 250 games.
Mainly trying to maim old boy school wankers.

Jude Bolton…minus the fitness but have his multiple concussions.

Signature move the uncontested spoil.

Brilliant!

My brother was great at football, does that make me Jackson Merrett?

Shane Harvey?

Ty Zantuck.

Overweight, no talent and past my prime.

Signature move the uncontested spoil.

Brilliant!

Caused of course by ‘referred’ pressure. (Or is it deferred pressure? Or inferred pressure?)

I didn’t realise you guys were going to get so detailed. I’ll amend mine then.

Take 1 Jamar,
Add a splash of Crowley
Remove all football skills
Retain non-football carntish qualities
Shrink to half-size
Replace knees with Jaeger’s
Voila!

I’d be Paul peos

I didn't realise you guys were going to get so detailed. I'll amend mine then.

Take 1 Jamar,
Add a splash of Crowley
Remove all football skills
Retain non-football carntish qualities
Shrink to half-size
Replace knees with Jaeger’s
Voila!

Made with love?

I didn't realise you guys were going to get so detailed. I'll amend mine then.

Take 1 Jamar,
Add a splash of Crowley
Remove all football skills
Retain non-football carntish qualities
Shrink to half-size
Replace knees with Jaeger’s
Voila!

Made with love?

Maybe

Max Gawn

Loves a dart as much as me. That’s about all I share with a footballer.

Undersized CHF or CHB who tried hard but ultimately not good enough. Have had mild success as a lock down on tall midfielders…
Mark Bolton

Tried to model my game on the great Tim Watson.

Same kicking style but a left footer.

Without the power, pace, skills, goal scoring ability, fitness, toughness, good looks, dry sense of humour, articulate speech, intelligence or air of confidence.

So…um…yeah, apart from those qualities I was exactly like him.

2 Likes
Tried to model my game on the great Tim Watson.

Same kicking style but a left footer.

Without the power, pace, skills, goal scoring ability, fitness, toughness, good looks, dry sense of humour, articulate speech, intelligence or air of confidence.

So…um…yeah, apart from those qualities I was exactly like him.

It’s the thought that counts

Tried to model my game on the great Tim Watson.

Same kicking style but a left footer.

Without the power, pace, skills, goal scoring ability, fitness, toughness, good looks, dry sense of humour, articulate speech, intelligence or air of confidence.

So…um…yeah, apart from those qualities I was exactly like him.


What about your son?
Tried to model my game on the great Tim Watson.

Same kicking style but a left footer.

Without the power, pace, skills, goal scoring ability, fitness, toughness, good looks, dry sense of humour, articulate speech, intelligence or air of confidence.

So…um…yeah, apart from those qualities I was exactly like him.

I modelled myself on him in grade 10. Right down to the dash, the hair shimmer, the slight limp, the constant look of being buggered, the breath taking skills and flirting with Jennifer keyte.

I’d like to think Merv Neagle, right down to the swagger. Back in the day I was quick, could baulk and blind turn with the best of them (and with a lairish delight), could take the odd speccy, and had a touch of mongrel. The harder it got the more I liked it. But…

I had nothing like Merv’s kicking skills, and what I had was inconsistent. Would miss everything from 30 metres out straight in front, then dob one from the boundary kicking over my shoulder. I was wing, RR, HFF, but I had FA endurance, and would lose interest if the game got too easy.

Hmmm
Not quite tall enough
not quite quick enough
not quite classically proportioned enough
tried reaally hard

Ryan O’Connor

This is somewhat difficult but it’s a bit like pulling the pigtails of the girl you used to harass in grade 2 but you weren’t sure why. That’s why hodge cops it so. So bugger it I’ll lay it out there it would be awesome to be hodge. Playing for us. In a parallel universe.
Right well I’ve told you guys, now it’s time for mum and dad.

Defensively minded, but don't have the strength or technique to tackle. Variable courage, will occasionally go when it's my turn and cop a whack. Fair kicking skills with both feet. Don't handball. Likes a couple of running bounces. Signature move the uncontested spoil.

Can anyone find me an AFL player match?

Heritier lumumba