Jackie and Tiffany: Milkshakes and the End of the Saga

A sunny spring Saturday saw Tiffany and myself seated at a table outside the Guildford General Store. What had brought us here you may ask – it is not generally well known but this humble establishment makes the finest chocolate milkshakes in the land.

A gourmet milkshake requires the milk to be chilled, the ice cream well beaten, but not too much, and a generous slurp of chocolate syrup. Of course it must be served in the genuine aluminium mixing vessel and if possible the straw should be of gaily striped cardboard, not plastic. I have my own supply of such straws which I bring with me to consume the milky nectar. On the question of malt I say no but Tiffany says yes.

What Tiffany was wearing is irrelevant to the discussion but if I don’t describe her attire (or lack of) I will be flooded with questions from the fashion officianados of the blitz website. For this warm spring day she basically favoured a Daisy Mae outfit as featured in L’il Abner comics – short raggedy shorts and a polka dot blouse, tied not buttoned. However her feet were not bare but were encased in high wedge sandals and her hair was tied back with a simple red ribbon.

Does Guildford have anything to recommend it other than fine milkshakes? Yes and no. If you are not careful you might get trapped in the pub during the annual Blue Grass Banjo Jamboree which ranks only behind piano accordian music for assaults on the senses. Ron Barassi spent his childhood here but left to play football and probably to evade the banjos.

On the yes side of the ledger they have the biggest tree on public land in Australia, which they have imaginatively called “The Big Tree”. For the statistically minded it is a River Red Gum about 500 years old with a circumference of eleven metres.

Tiff said, “The biggest tree is fine in it’s own way but it’s not as if the Guildfordians are responsible for the accomplishment – they didn’t even plant it.”

She had a point there and my thoughts turned to Aararat .

“Tiff did you know that a survey showed that Aararat had the fattest teenagers in the state?”

“That’s nothing to be proud of” she replied.

“Maybe not but the whole town contributed to it so maybe they have more right to be proud of having the biggest something than Guildford.”

This conversation died out into a companionable silence as we reached the noisy stage of finishing our shakes.

“Begbie contacted me the other day – he’s writing a book on the toll the saga took on the supporters.”

“Good idea” said Tiff “Are you going to contribute something?”

“I have been thinking about it and I thought perhaps I could suggest something about the end of the saga because without an official ending people can’t really have closure.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard” said Tiff looking up inquisitively.

“It’s not as easy as you might think. Lot’s of events in history have no clear ending. Take World War Two for example. General Macarthur took the signing of the surrender document by the Japanese on the USS Missouri and said, “These proceedings are closed.” This looks clear cut but you could argue that the war didn’t finish until the Nuremburg Trials were completed or the occupation of Japan ended years later.”

“What about the saga then” said Tiffany, now giving me her full attention.

“Well, some people would say it ends when the sanctions are lifted, others might point to Jobe Watson’s return speech at St. Bernards, while others might think it continues at least until a decision is made on Jobe’s Brownlow.”

Tiff said, “Those are all possibilities but what’s your personal view Jackie?”

“Yesterday, Friday 28/10/16 at Tullamarine. Cale Hooker was leading seven of the suspended players in their first group training at Tullamarine. At 9.47 (I looked at my watch because I thought the time was important) Worsfold strolled onto the oval with hand outstretched to shake with Hooksey and said

“Hello boys, good to see ya.”

For me this was the date and the time and the words he uttered were the equivalent of Macarthur’s “These proceedings are closed.”

Then in the afternoon he sacked Dempsey, Hams and Gach which kind of emphasised the changing of the guard.”

Tiff leaned across and took my hand “ “Hello boys, good to see ya.” 9.47 Friday 28/10/16 sounds right to me. It’s been a long four years and if you are saying for posterity this was the time and these were the words that ended the saga I won’t argue with you. But you know bomberblitz is a strange world I think you might get a lot of argument.”

I nodded in agreement.

Tiffany brightened. “Well Jackie if you are declaring the Saga officially over let’s do something nice to celebrate I’ve got that special spring joie de vivre.”

A sunny spring Saturday saw Tiffany and myself seated at a table outside the Guildford General Store. What had brought us here you may ask – it is not generally well known but this humble establishment makes the finest chocolate milkshakes in the land.

A gourmet milkshake requires the milk to be chilled, the ice cream well beaten, but not too much, and a generous slurp of chocolate syrup. Of course it must be served in the genuine aluminium mixing vessel and if possible the straw should be of gaily striped cardboard, not plastic. I have my own supply of such straws which I bring with me to consume the milky nectar. On the question of malt I say no but Tiffany says yes.

What Tiffany was wearing is irrelevant to the discussion but if I don’t describe her attire (or lack of) I will be flooded with questions from the fashion officianados of the blitz website. For this warm spring day she basically favoured a Daisy Mae outfit as featured in L’il Abner comics – short raggedy shorts and a polka dot blouse, tied not buttoned. However her feet were not bare but were encased in high wedge sandals and her hair was tied back with a simple red ribbon.

Does Guildford have anything to recommend it other than fine milkshakes? Yes and no. If you are not careful you might get trapped in the pub during the annual Blue Grass Banjo Jamboree which ranks only behind piano accordian music for assaults on the senses. Ron Barassi spent his childhood here but left to play football and probably to evade the banjos.

On the yes side of the ledger they have the biggest tree on public land in Australia, which they have imaginatively called “The Big Tree”. For the statistically minded it is a River Red Gum about 500 years old with a circumference of eleven metres.

Tiff said, “The biggest tree is fine in it’s own way but it’s not as if the Guildfordians are responsible for the accomplishment – they didn’t even plant it.”

She had a point there and my thoughts turned to Aararat .

“Tiff did you know that a survey showed that Aararat had the fattest teenagers in the state?”

“That’s nothing to be proud of” she replied.

“Maybe not but the whole town contributed to it so maybe they have more right to be proud of having the biggest something than Guildford.”

This conversation died out into a companionable silence as we reached the noisy stage of finishing our shakes.

“Begbie contacted me the other day – he’s writing a book on the toll the saga took on the supporters.”

“Good idea” said Tiff “Are you going to contribute something?”

“I have been thinking about it and I thought perhaps I could suggest something about the end of the saga because without an official ending people can’t really have closure.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard” said Tiff looking up inquisitively.

“It’s not as easy as you might think. Lot’s of events in history have no clear ending. Take World War Two for example. General Macarthur took the signing of the surrender document by the Japanese on the USS Missouri and said, “These proceedings are closed.” This looks clear cut but you could argue that the war didn’t finish until the Nuremburg Trials were completed or the occupation of Japan ended years later.”

“What about the saga then” said Tiffany, now giving me her full attention.

“Well, some people would say it ends when the sanctions are lifted, others might point to Jobe Watson’s return speech at St. Bernards, while others might think it continues at least until a decision is made on Jobe’s Brownlow.”

Tiff said, “Those are all possibilities but what’s your personal view Jackie?”

“Yesterday, Friday 28/10/16 at Tullamarine. Cale Hooker was leading seven of the suspended players in their first group training at Tullamarine. At 9.47 (I looked at my watch because I thought the time was important) Worsfold strolled onto the oval with hand outstretched to shake with Hooksey and said

“Hello boys, good to see ya.”

For me this was the date and the time and the words he uttered were the equivalent of Macarthur’s “These proceedings are closed.”

Then in the afternoon he sacked Dempsey, Hams and Gach which kind of emphasised the changing of the guard.”

Tiff leaned across and took my hand “ “Hello boys, good to see ya.” 9.47 Friday 28/10/16 sounds right to me. It’s been a long four years and if you are saying for posterity this was the time and these were the words that ended the saga I won’t argue with you. But you know bomberblitz is a strange world I think you might get a lot of argument.”

I nodded in agreement.

Tiffany brightened. “Well Jackie if you are declaring the Saga officially over let’s do something nice to celebrate I’ve got that special spring joie de vivre.”

And all of that is true and it is not far from where I used to live. A smaller town than Guildford called Sandon. It only has a cemetery and a church. Thanks for the memories of Central Victoria.

Guildford eh?..I remember going out that way as a kid as I had relatives who farmed outside of town…I haven’t been out that way for over 40 years.

Guldford eh?...I remember going out that way as a kid as I had relatives who farmed outside of town...I haven't been out that way for over 40 years.
It hasn't changed much.

Thanks Jackie… Always thoroughly enjoyable & entertaining. Like your thoughts about time & date for ‘end of saga’ - hopefully it is just that for those boys. Personally I don’t feel that it will ever truly be over for me until the injustice of it all is publicly revealed & their true innocence proven… So sadly, maybe never. Not important though what I feel - hope the boys get some closure at some point… Perhaps 9.47 on Friday 28th??

Great work, jackie.

I also agree with l&p above that the Saga will not be over until the players’ and James Hird’s names have been cleared and their integrity restored. It is reprehensible of the AFL executive - who surely know the truth of this matter - to persist with demonising them as exemplified by the threat to Jobe’s Brownlow.

What’s a Mikshake? Or, who is Mik?

Tiff’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…

Saucy pictures of cartoon girls dammit

A sunny spring Saturday saw Tiffany and myself seated at a table outside the Guildford General Store. What had brought us here you may ask – it is not generally well known but this humble establishment makes the finest chocolate milkshakes in the land.

A gourmet milkshake requires the milk to be chilled, the ice cream well beaten, but not too much, and a generous slurp of chocolate syrup. Of course it must be served in the genuine aluminium mixing vessel and if possible the straw should be of gaily striped cardboard, not plastic. I have my own supply of such straws which I bring with me to consume the milky nectar. On the question of malt I say no but Tiffany says yes.

What Tiffany was wearing is irrelevant to the discussion but if I don’t describe her attire (or lack of) I will be flooded with questions from the fashion officianados of the blitz website. For this warm spring day she basically favoured a Daisy Mae outfit as featured in L’il Abner comics – short raggedy shorts and a polka dot blouse, tied not buttoned. However her feet were not bare but were encased in high wedge sandals and her hair was tied back with a simple red ribbon.

Does Guildford have anything to recommend it other than fine milkshakes? Yes and no. If you are not careful you might get trapped in the pub during the annual Blue Grass Banjo Jamboree which ranks only behind piano accordian music for assaults on the senses. Ron Barassi spent his childhood here but left to play football and probably to evade the banjos.

On the yes side of the ledger they have the biggest tree on public land in Australia, which they have imaginatively called “The Big Tree”. For the statistically minded it is a River Red Gum about 500 years old with a circumference of eleven metres.

Tiff said, “The biggest tree is fine in it’s own way but it’s not as if the Guildfordians are responsible for the accomplishment – they didn’t even plant it.”

She had a point there and my thoughts turned to Aararat .

“Tiff did you know that a survey showed that Aararat had the fattest teenagers in the state?”

“That’s nothing to be proud of” she replied.

“Maybe not but the whole town contributed to it so maybe they have more right to be proud of having the biggest something than Guildford.”

This conversation died out into a companionable silence as we reached the noisy stage of finishing our shakes.

“Begbie contacted me the other day – he’s writing a book on the toll the saga took on the supporters.”

“Good idea” said Tiff “Are you going to contribute something?”

“I have been thinking about it and I thought perhaps I could suggest something about the end of the saga because without an official ending people can’t really have closure.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard” said Tiff looking up inquisitively.

“It’s not as easy as you might think. Lot’s of events in history have no clear ending. Take World War Two for example. General Macarthur took the signing of the surrender document by the Japanese on the USS Missouri and said, “These proceedings are closed.” This looks clear cut but you could argue that the war didn’t finish until the Nuremburg Trials were completed or the occupation of Japan ended years later.”

“What about the saga then” said Tiffany, now giving me her full attention.

“Well, some people would say it ends when the sanctions are lifted, others might point to Jobe Watson’s return speech at St. Bernards, while others might think it continues at least until a decision is made on Jobe’s Brownlow.”

Tiff said, “Those are all possibilities but what’s your personal view Jackie?”

“Yesterday, Friday 28/10/16 at Tullamarine. Cale Hooker was leading seven of the suspended players in their first group training at Tullamarine. At 9.47 (I looked at my watch because I thought the time was important) Worsfold strolled onto the oval with hand outstretched to shake with Hooksey and said

“Hello boys, good to see ya.”

For me this was the date and the time and the words he uttered were the equivalent of Macarthur’s “These proceedings are closed.”

Then in the afternoon he sacked Dempsey, Hams and Gach which kind of emphasised the changing of the guard.”

Tiff leaned across and took my hand “ “Hello boys, good to see ya.” 9.47 Friday 28/10/16 sounds right to me. It’s been a long four years and if you are saying for posterity this was the time and these were the words that ended the saga I won’t argue with you. But you know bomberblitz is a strange world I think you might get a lot of argument.”

I nodded in agreement.

Tiffany brightened. “Well Jackie if you are declaring the Saga officially over let’s do something nice to celebrate I’ve got that special spring joie de vivre.”

And all of that is true and it is not far from where I used to live. A smaller town than Guildford called Sandon. It only has a cemetery and a church. Thanks for the memories of Central Victoria.
Wasn't Sandon the place where they had to shoot a man to start a cemetery?
A sunny spring Saturday saw Tiffany and myself seated at a table outside the Guildford General Store. What had brought us here you may ask – it is not generally well known but this humble establishment makes the finest chocolate milkshakes in the land.

A gourmet milkshake requires the milk to be chilled, the ice cream well beaten, but not too much, and a generous slurp of chocolate syrup. Of course it must be served in the genuine aluminium mixing vessel and if possible the straw should be of gaily striped cardboard, not plastic. I have my own supply of such straws which I bring with me to consume the milky nectar. On the question of malt I say no but Tiffany says yes.

What Tiffany was wearing is irrelevant to the discussion but if I don’t describe her attire (or lack of) I will be flooded with questions from the fashion officianados of the blitz website. For this warm spring day she basically favoured a Daisy Mae outfit as featured in L’il Abner comics – short raggedy shorts and a polka dot blouse, tied not buttoned. However her feet were not bare but were encased in high wedge sandals and her hair was tied back with a simple red ribbon.

Does Guildford have anything to recommend it other than fine milkshakes? Yes and no. If you are not careful you might get trapped in the pub during the annual Blue Grass Banjo Jamboree which ranks only behind piano accordian music for assaults on the senses. Ron Barassi spent his childhood here but left to play football and probably to evade the banjos.

On the yes side of the ledger they have the biggest tree on public land in Australia, which they have imaginatively called “The Big Tree”. For the statistically minded it is a River Red Gum about 500 years old with a circumference of eleven metres.

Tiff said, “The biggest tree is fine in it’s own way but it’s not as if the Guildfordians are responsible for the accomplishment – they didn’t even plant it.”

She had a point there and my thoughts turned to Aararat .

“Tiff did you know that a survey showed that Aararat had the fattest teenagers in the state?”

“That’s nothing to be proud of” she replied.

“Maybe not but the whole town contributed to it so maybe they have more right to be proud of having the biggest something than Guildford.”

This conversation died out into a companionable silence as we reached the noisy stage of finishing our shakes.

“Begbie contacted me the other day – he’s writing a book on the toll the saga took on the supporters.”

“Good idea” said Tiff “Are you going to contribute something?”

“I have been thinking about it and I thought perhaps I could suggest something about the end of the saga because without an official ending people can’t really have closure.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard” said Tiff looking up inquisitively.

“It’s not as easy as you might think. Lot’s of events in history have no clear ending. Take World War Two for example. General Macarthur took the signing of the surrender document by the Japanese on the USS Missouri and said, “These proceedings are closed.” This looks clear cut but you could argue that the war didn’t finish until the Nuremburg Trials were completed or the occupation of Japan ended years later.”

“What about the saga then” said Tiffany, now giving me her full attention.

“Well, some people would say it ends when the sanctions are lifted, others might point to Jobe Watson’s return speech at St. Bernards, while others might think it continues at least until a decision is made on Jobe’s Brownlow.”

Tiff said, “Those are all possibilities but what’s your personal view Jackie?”

“Yesterday, Friday 28/10/16 at Tullamarine. Cale Hooker was leading seven of the suspended players in their first group training at Tullamarine. At 9.47 (I looked at my watch because I thought the time was important) Worsfold strolled onto the oval with hand outstretched to shake with Hooksey and said

“Hello boys, good to see ya.”

For me this was the date and the time and the words he uttered were the equivalent of Macarthur’s “These proceedings are closed.”

Then in the afternoon he sacked Dempsey, Hams and Gach which kind of emphasised the changing of the guard.”

Tiff leaned across and took my hand “ “Hello boys, good to see ya.” 9.47 Friday 28/10/16 sounds right to me. It’s been a long four years and if you are saying for posterity this was the time and these were the words that ended the saga I won’t argue with you. But you know bomberblitz is a strange world I think you might get a lot of argument.”

I nodded in agreement.

Tiffany brightened. “Well Jackie if you are declaring the Saga officially over let’s do something nice to celebrate I’ve got that special spring joie de vivre.”

And all of that is true and it is not far from where I used to live. A smaller town than Guildford called Sandon. It only has a cemetery and a church. Thanks for the memories of Central Victoria.
Wasn't Sandon the place where they had to shoot a man to start a cemetery?
Ha, ha. ha. No, actually I think it was a tornado that went through there and ripped the place up in the late seventies early eighties.

Sometime in the early 1970’s as l was going into a party somewhere in Fitzroy l found a tiny kitten in the gutter. l picked it up and took it inside. l asked around, but it didn’t belong to anyone, so l took the little tabby home with me. l got talking with a group of people, and one girl said she was from Guildford, so that is what l named the kitten. At the vet’s getting it checked out, l was told it had feline enteritis, and probably wouldn’t survive, even if l nursed it. l left it at the vet’s but decided to get another cat, in memory of the little one. l went to an animal shelter and got a tom cat. l named him Guildford James the Second. Since that was a bit of a mouthful l simply called him GJ2 for short. l treated him like a dog, and that was how he responded, he would coming running when l whistled.

The girl was from Guildford in England, Until l read this report l didn’t know there was on in Victoria. Night all.

Hmmm. ending needs more premiershipness

Jackie - I recently went to a funeral in Ararat. Please note that there are 3 A’s in Ararat, not 4. You’ve spelled it with a double A as in aardwolf. Aalso, you mention that Ararat teenagers are the biggest fatty boomba’s in Australia. I can’t vouch for that, but I can assure you that at the wake, the magnificent spread prepared by the good ladies of St Whoeveritwas Church left me even more overweight than I was before I entered the parish centre. Aand that reminds me, how did Parish train?

Jackie - I recently went to a funeral in Ararat. Please note that there are 3 A's in Ararat, not 4. You've spelled it with a double A as in aardwolf. Aalso, you mention that Ararat teenagers are the biggest fatty boomba's in Australia. I can't vouch for that, but I can assure you that at the wake, the magnificent spread prepared by the good ladies of St Whoeveritwas Church left me even more overweight than I was before I entered the parish centre. Aand that reminds me, how did Parish train?

Sorry - I’ve used the original spelling of Ararat named after Aararat in the Middle East not the modern one.

Also sorry about the funeral but I’m glad you got stuffed.

I don’t know that if the adults are generally overweight but the children in the survey were, closely followed by Ballarat.

Were there curried egg sandwiches - that’s what I look for at a funeral?

Haven’t seen Parish train yet - I think the younger players come back on the 7th.

Jackie - I recently went to a funeral in Ararat. Please note that there are 3 A's in Ararat, not 4. You've spelled it with a double A as in aardwolf. Aalso, you mention that Ararat teenagers are the biggest fatty boomba's in Australia. I can't vouch for that, but I can assure you that at the wake, the magnificent spread prepared by the good ladies of St Whoeveritwas Church left me even more overweight than I was before I entered the parish centre. Aand that reminds me, how did Parish train?

Sorry - I’ve used the original spelling of Ararat named after Aararat in the Middle East not the modern one.

Also sorry about the funeral but I’m glad you got stuffed.

I don’t know that if the adults are generally overweight but the children in the survey were, closely followed by Ballarat.

Were there curried egg sandwiches - that’s what I look for at a funeral?

Haven’t seen Parish train yet - I think the younger players come back on the 7th.

Ararat had a whole season of The Biggest Loser dedicated to them I believe. I can also confirm that my hometown of Ballarat (formerly known as Ballaarat) is not much worse.

I think for the boys, they’ll be past the saga when we play in Round 1 vs Whorethorn. It’ll never be over, but they’ll at least be able to move on for the time being once they play that first game.

The curried egg sandwiches were in abundant supply and of a very high standard. The home made sausage rolls were amongst the best I have tasted in a long career as a sausage roll fancier. Drinks at the Blue Duck added to all that came before. Someone once said to me: Weddings sometimes, funerals always. Think that’s about right. Vale Graeme C.

Jackie, you have excelled yourself. One of the very best. I read it to my wife and she was giggling by the time I got to the Big Tree.