I've just returned from a brief trip to the year 2047 and here's a brief summary of my findings.
There are now 20 teams in the ACFL - Australian & Chinese Football League.
The Western Bulldogs are now the Eastern Bullfrogs and play the majority of their home games in Guangzhou.
Port Adelaide have re-named to the Port Pandas which suits them better as they are regarded as the softest team.
North Melbourne folded in the year 2029 after going 3 seasons without a victory. They attempted to become the North Korea Kangaroos in 2028 after Wayne Carey met with Kim Jong Un II thanks to his associate Dennis Rodman. The deal was signed, the bare concrete stadium with no seats for up to 1,000 fans built and ready to go. But it fell through at the last minute after Carey was allegedly caught flirting with Mrs Un.
Carlton was fined 20 million dollars for tampering with the draft in 2024 under the 'AFL cloning rules'. Two past players from the 1987 and 1995 premiership sides were found guilty of cloning themselves after an Adelaide hospital investigated 2 babies born with thick mullets in the same hospital.
Eddie McGuire is still Collingwood president and has re-hired Nathan Buckley as head coach on 3 separate occasions. Eddie is currently building a Collingwood training and membership facility on Mars. He believes the recent discovery of "questionable intelligent alien life" is a potential membership bonanza.
The MCG has been redeveloped and the capacity is down to 65,000 due the the extra large spacious movable seats. The seats provide additional extra leg room for men who like to sit with their legs spread wide open. The average male Australian spectator also now weighs 150kg and female 100kg.
The top players wear a helmet with a camera and gimble and you can now watch from home using your Virtual Reality goggles. This is the most popular way to watch the game and has seen match day attendances decrease dramatically. Profits have soared with the average ACFL player earning 25 million per year.
Essendon plays 8 home games a year in Shanghai and have the largest membership base (which includes robotic pet memberships and Artificially Intelligent members). Players fly back and forth in private jets to Melbourne at supersonic speed thanks to the donations from the late P. Little. Our home ground in China is named the "Tesla Dome" with artificial clean air. BTW, Tesla also built the airport hyperloop link to the Melbourne CBD in the late 2020's.
We have 2 exciting half Chinese brothers who wear the numbers 8 and 88 respectively. Their surname is ■■■■. Their father is Tex Wanganeen who married a local Chinese girl. All guernseys across the league containing the number 4 have been retired due to Chinese superstition.
Unfortunately we are yet to win a premiership. We came controversially close in 2036 when T. Hird had a shot for goal after the siren. He only needed a score to win from 35 metres out directly in front. His shot was sailing directly through the middle when it hit a camera drone. Consequently it ricocheted into the behind post. Gillon McLauchlan, retired AFL CEO is seen on camera directly behind the goals holding what appears to be a remote control. The Sydney captain is seen after the game mouthing the words 'thanks Gil' . No investigation took place. Essendon refused to comment.
Essendon also lost 3 interstate and international preliminary finals in the 2030's to Sydney, GWS and the Eastern Bullfrogs in controversial circumstances. Essendon signed a 5 year deal to wear the AFCL brand football boots during finals in those years. The boots are reported to have "felt heavy and slippery" in the 50 metre arc. This is believed to have resulted in record inaccurate kicking for goal as many players slipped during kicking for goal. 9 goals 36 behinds, 11 goals 44 behinds and 8 goals 53 behinds were the respective losing scores. Each loss was by less than 2 goals. The boots were made in China by a company with an A. Demetriou as Chairman. Essendon refused to comment during the saga.
Captain M. Fletcher retired a 500 game player in 2042. His wife gave birth to two sets of triplet sons named Freddy, Ford, Felix, Fonz, Frodo and Flee.
Oh, and Hawthorn have won a further 7 premierships. Geelong 5. The only Victorian sides to do so.
There is one positive to look forward to. The ageing process can be reversed, and P. Little's donation of $2.3 trillion to the Essendon Football Club sees us as front runners in the "AFL Rewind League" Hird, Lloyd, Watson, Daniher and many other champions have already signed up and have reversed their ageing process by 9 years at a factor of 3 (meaning 3 years reversed every 12 months). By the 2060's Essendon should see a Golden Era in this league.