Under Cover round

where all games for the round are to be played at stadiums with a roof.
All games to be split between Hobart and Marvel stadium.

Need to wait for Hobart Stadium to be built before this round gets off the ground.

proposal outcome: rejected

proposal feedback: too tight a turnaround on merchandise production without a fixed opponent. no use having commemorative games without a new jersey to sell. big fan of locking us in for a permanent week one of finals game, worth exploring further.

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I completely missed WCE lol

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proposal outcome: accepted

proposal feedback: huge commercial partnership opportunities here. need to brief pr team on circumventing any allusions to injections, ie iv drips, [redacted] or [redacted]. potentially use impersonator to avoid the expectation of having actual person there (re: matthews)

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proposal outcome: rejected

proposal feedback: can’t draw focus away from showdown/derby/pies v blues fixtures in a cost-effective manner because we won’t get any revenue from away ticket sales

excellent commercial tie-in opportunity, with blockbuster, essendon and north all last peaking in the early 00s

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Mark-cuban GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

potential tie-in with spring racing carnival? or that sht one they do in sydney?

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Proposal: EOFY Game
June 30th each year
Essendon v Melbourne (Although their members may all be skiing at that time of year)

Have a parade starting at Bourke Street Mall with Myer and David Jones setting up for EOFY sales and “Half Yearly Clearances”, swing down Russell Street to Collins Street and past all the high end retail shops with a stop in front of the Melbourne Club. Nobody will be allowed in, so continue on to the Treasury Building, through Treasury Gardens and on to the MCG, where Melbourne host a cigar smoking ceremony and present the traditional charcuterie boards and a selection of fine wines before the game. (By invitation only.)
MCC dining room attire rules apply to all patrons attending.

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Proposal: Dan Andrews round

All games to be played at 10am which is to pay tribute to the daily press Conferences he did during COVID.

All tickets will be means tested.

A cheer tax will be implemented for supporters to help pay for the big build.

Alcohol and Food will will cost 20% more to help pay for the big build.

Only supporters within a 5kn radius will be allowed to travel to the ground.

Masks must be worn and vaccination certificates displayed.

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proposal outcome: accepted

proposal feedback: should get quotes on the construction of additional temporary corporate boxes. also need to ensure certain uhhhhhhhhh supply chain providers will be prepped to meet demand.

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Line In The Sand game Essendon vs Hawthorn

an approximate date or round the game will take place: first Saturday in June (Italian for sand is sabbia, which is close to Sabbath… Saturday)

the opponent: Hawthorn

what the game will commemorate: the line in the sand game from 2004 against Hawthorn

how the opponent, date and commemoration are linked: see preceding point

the event itself: (I have provided a mock up below for illustrative purposes)

It will be played at the MCG, with the entire surface covered with sand and a line running from wing to wing through the centre square.

Instead of Essendon players running through the banner, Matthew Lloyd runs through Brad Sewell.

The digital clock is replaced by an hour glass.

When a goal is scored John Travolta’s Sandy will be blasted from speakers and scoreboard.

Sandy Roberts will commentate.

Sandwiches will be the exclusive food available.


This is very thorough. I missed you in my absence, Doe.

Perhaps some Colonel Sanders secret recipe?

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