Red and Black Humour

Oh boy!



A mother was cleaning her 13 year old son’s room when she found a pile of BDSM magazines and paraphernalia hidden underneath his bed.

Distraught that her sweet, innocent child should be into this type of sexual experimentation at such a tender young age, she rushed to find her husband to discuss how they should approach him about it.

The Dad pondered the issue for a while then said, “Probably not by spanking him.”



Larson is one of my favourite cartoonists.



I’ve been celebrating the week of the fourth watching all the Star Wars films in timeline order. Haven’t watched them for a while and really enjoying it. That said I’m up to the last 3. Hope I enjoy them more than I did when I watched them when released at the movies.

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Is that a joke?

Is that a joke?

A jokes a joke but a poke in the eye ain’t no joke.
Something that an old boss used to say if we asked if it was a joke or not.

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, “”We don’t serve your kind.””

The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself.

He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, “”Weren’t you just in here?””

The rope replies, “”Nope, I’m a frayed knot.””



There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address.

He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

“Dear God,

I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.

Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.

Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.

Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope…

Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna”

The postal worker was touched.

He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars.

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

“Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.

We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.

By the way, there was $4 missing.

I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely, Edna”


I was outside digging in the garden when i found a chest of very old gold coins. I rushed inside to tell the wife but before i got to her i remembered why i was digging in the garden.



A 7 year old and 4 year old are in their bedroom, ‘You know what’ says the 7 year old

‘I think its time we started swearing, when we go downstairs for breakfast I’ll swear first then you’

‘OK’ says the 4 year old.

Mum asks 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. ‘I’ll have Coco Pops, b$tch’

WHACK, he flew out of the chair crying his eyes out.

Mum looked at the 4 year old and said sternly ’ And what do you want ’

‘Dunno but it wont be farking Coco Pops’.




for female Blitzers of a certain age (or male Blitzers with female partners of a certain age)

do a search on Youtube for Jenny Talia - Menopause :stuck_out_tongue:



Thanks @Koala.

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