Red and Black Humour

7 Likes

5 Likes

Reminds me of the oldie.
Polar bear takes his car to the mechanic.
Mechanic says “You’ve blown a seal”
Polar Bear wipes his chin and replied “Nah, I just had an ice cream”

4 Likes

Post 1982, January 2023.

5 Likes

IMG_1997

6 Likes

But as John Donne famously said …there’s no mayonnaise in Ireland.

often misquoted as “no man is an island”.

1 Like

5 Likes

448083399_122155370276199940_5736638871629817659_n

6 Likes

2 Likes

12 Likes

7 Likes

13 Likes

A Wife came Home early and found her Husband in their Bedroom making love to a very Attractive Young Woman. She was very Upset.

“You are a Disrēspêctful Pīg!” she Cried.

“How dare you do this to me – a Faithful Wife, the Mother of your Children! I’m Leaving you. I want a Divorce, NOW!”

The Husband calmly replied, “Hang on just a Minute Love. At least let me tell you what Happened.”

“Fine, go ahead”, the Wife Sobbed, “but they will be the last Words you say to me!”

The Husband Began:

“Well, as I was getting into the Car at Work to drive Home, this Young Lady here asked me for a Lift. She looked so Distressed, Helpless and Defenceless that I took Pity on her and let her into the Car.”

“She was very Thin, not well Dressed and very Dirty and told me that she hadn’t Eaten for Three Days.”

“Out of Compassion, I brought her Home and Warmed up the Pizza I made for you last Night that you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on Weight. The Poor thing Ate it, Ravenously.”

“She was Dirty. I suggested she have a Shower. While Showering, I noticed her Clothes were Filthy and Threadbare. I threw them away.”

“I gave her the Designer Jeans that you’ve had for a Few Years, but don’t Wear because you say they are too Tight.”

“I gave her Underwear, your Anniversary Present from me, which you don’t Wear because you said I don’t have Good Taste.”

_"I gave her the Sexy Blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t Wear just to annoy her.

I also donated those Boots you bought at an expensive Boutique but don’t Wear because someone at Work has the same Pair."_

The Husband Paused, took a quick Breath and continued:

_"She was so Grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the Door, she turned to me with Tears in her Eyes and said, “Please Sir… Do you have anything else that your Wife doesn’t use?”

7 Likes

That really Was a Capital piece of Humorous writing that Made me Chuckle. :grinning:

4 Likes

14 Likes

image

7 Likes

Younger posters - ask your dad (or your grandfather).

7 Likes

I’m old and still don’t get it?

1 Like