Whoah whoah whoah… slow down, Einstein.
4 Likes
Kate McCarthy has more clue then anyone who has been at Essendon.
https://x.com/triplemfooty/status/2075158534485127279/video/1?s=46
7 Likes
We have won every 2026 game in which Roberts has kicked a goal.
We have lost every 2026 game in which Roberts did not kick a goal.
There is a lot more than ■■■■■ and giggles on the line there.
4 Likes
Hold on, so our big statement is to drop a fringe player?!?
lolololololol
See ya Dean.
9 Likes
Solomon: Darcy, mate, grab a seat.
Parish: Cheers, Solly. What’s up?
Solomon: I’ll get straight to it… we’re going a different direction this week. You’re omitted.
Parish: (calmly reaches into his bag) Really?
Solomon: Yeah… team balance, midfield mix… all that.
Parish: (pulls out a thick contract) Have you read page 47?
Solomon: Why would I read page 47?
Parish: Clause 18.3.
(Solomon squints at the page.)
Solomon: “…Player shall not be omitted from the senior side for reasons of form.”
Parish: Correct.
Solomon: Who negotiated this?!
Parish: My manager was feeling ambitious.
Solomon: Right… okay then.
(Awkward silence.)
Solomon: Good news! You’re actually… injured.
Parish: No I’m not.
Solomon: You have… um… lower… upper… general soreness.
Parish: I just ran a PB in training.
Solomon: Yeah, that’s… classic symptom.
Parish: Of being fit?
Solomon: Exactly… no, wait…
(Another long pause.)
Solomon: Fine. You’re being… rested.
Parish: I don’t need a rest.
Solomon: Everyone needs a rest.
Parish: I slept nine hours.
Solomon: Mental rest.
Parish: I feel fantastic.
Solomon: Spiritual rest?
Parish: Dean…
(Solomon rubs his temples.)
Solomon: This is impossible.
(The office door opens. Will Setterfield walks past holding a protein shake.)
Setterfield: You wanted to see me?
(Solomon’s eyes suddenly light up.)
Solomon: Perfect timing.
(He grabs the magnets off the whiteboard and dramatically swaps them.)
Solomon: Right! Change of plans.
Setterfield: …What?
Solomon: Will… you’re omitted.
Setterfield: Excuse me?
Solomon: Team balance.
Setterfield: But I wasn’t even in this conversation.
Solomon: Football moves fast.
Setterfield: I literally just walked in.
Parish: (puts contract back in his bag) Tough luck, mate.
Setterfield: Does my contract have one of those clauses?
Parish: Doesn’t sound like it.
Setterfield: (sadly) I knew I should’ve asked for page 47…
(Setterfield slowly walks out, shoulders slumped.)
Solomon: (calling after him) Keep training well!
Setterfield: (without turning around) That somehow makes it worse.
Fade to black.
17 Likes
I guess the “compliance piece” Solly was looking for was playing the same old time-worn hacks in our leadership group and making the kids really earn it.
Ah well, back to watching the VFL to see what some players that actually care about their performance look like.
5 Likes
If our past few games are any indication then this game will be over a few minutes in when we see no pressure, no physicality and total lack of interest. Doesn’t matter what the coach does on game day, the senior group are running this sh1tshow into the ground and they keep playing them. Totally unacceptable. I just don’t get why every supporter can see what’s happening yet the selectors keep picking these boat anchors. They don’t want to be at the club next year and should be told to go seek opportunities elsewhere and, in the meantime, can sit in the 2s til the end of the season. Ffs at least look like you farking care when you’re representing our once proud club. God it’s depressing. Solly can be the bootstudder next year. I wouldn’t let him near the u10s let alone a senior team. There’s still no game plan, no inspiration, no hope. Here endeth the rant.
2 Likes
Interesting that Ridley is managed. I guess just to keep him from meeting with his preferred coach and future 2027 team mates in QLD.
I guess if he is that far out the door, you should facilitate the move for your advantage.
Hopefully his imminent departure is being managed as well.
And even more ‘hopeful’ we see more departure management with the likes of Merrett, Parish, McGrath & Redman in coming weeks.
4 Likes
Jones and Blakiston. I think they’re definitely exactly what we need to turn this terrible form around.
2 Likes
Sarcastica font needed
real philosophical question…. what’s better?
loads of talent and no confidence or effort?
or limited talent but tons of effort?
I’m gonna go to Cambodia and Vietnam for a few weeks. Maybe things will improve in the meantime. Unlikely
1 Like
this is it. real “i’ll start the diet on monday” energy
2 Likes
Niiiice.
First to 100 wins, but not in this case, AMIRITE
Absolute gold! You win the internet today.
Richmond won a bunch of flags with a team featuring quite a few limited but very determined battlers.
They also had quite a few very talented players. And they were also determined.
Also their list ran quite deep with players who were determined and players who were talented. As in, determined, talented players.
That’s kind of beside the point though. In short, I’d answer your original question with “yes”.
1 Like
It’s easy to omit DP3.
Just offer him a round or two of golf.
Throw in buggy hire.
1st time i had a text. Catch the dons @ the gabba from 2.30pm gates open, 3pm training.
I chucked this into AI and said add more humour. It added a couple of lines that I liked.
Solomon: Darcy, mate, grab a seat. Not that one, it squeaks and my nerves are fried.
Parish: Cheers, Solly. What’s up?
Solomon: I’ll get straight to it… we’re going a different direction this week. You’re omitted.
Parish: (calmly pulls a fully laminated document from his gym bag) Fascinating. Have you read page 47?
Solomon: I don’t read the playbook, Darcy, why would I read page 47?
Parish: Clause 18.3. Under the subheading: “The Darcy Parish Exception.”
Solomon: (squints at the tiny text) “…Player shall not be dropped to the reserves for reasons of bad form, poor attitude, or because the coach had a dream about a better midfield mix.” Who negotiated this?!
Parish: My manager. He used to negotiate hostage releases.
Solomon: Right… okay then.
(Awkward silence. Solomon aggressively clicks a pen.)
Solomon: Good news! You’re actually… medically unfit.
Parish: I am glowing with health.
Solomon: You have… acute upper-lower-mid-body soreness.
Parish: I just broke the club sprint record ten minutes ago.
Solomon: Yes, adrenaline. It’s a classic symptom of impending structural collapse.
Parish: Of being fit?
Solomon: Exactly… no, wait…
(Another long pause. Solomon stares at the whiteboard like it’s a Rubik’s Cube.)
Solomon: Fine. You’re being… rested.
Parish: I’m twenty-eight, Solly, not a vintage wine.
Solomon: It’s a spiritual rest, Darcy! Your aura is exhausted!
Parish: My aura is fine.
(The office door opens. Will Setterfield walks past, happily eating a banana.)
Setterfield: Hey boss, did you see my—
Solomon: (eyes lighting up like a maniac) PERFECT.
(Solomon rips Parish’s magnet off the board, throws it at the wall, and slams Setterfield’s magnet into the “Out” column.)
Solomon: Will! You’re dropped. Team balance.
Setterfield: (chokes slightly on banana) I was looking for the printer?
Solomon: Football moves fast, Will. Print your resumes.
Setterfield: I haven’t played a game in three weeks! How can my form warrant—
Parish: (zipping his bag) Just take the L, mate. Page 47 protects the chosen.
Setterfield: (sadly looking at his banana) I knew I should’ve hired a hostage negotiator…
Fade to black