Season 2019 - Fark Carlton


Was my #1 pick for his draft.


I am going to hold you to that Crazy_Bomber.
Not because I want to prove you wrong. No. I want to shift the mojo to our side for the next zillion years.
This year we must win or we are truly s h i t e.


Clubs can control the cheer squad but not the supporters.


AwFuL: Hold my beer…


I refuse to laugh at this club as we languish in the bottom third of the ladder again

Even people noting that the Crows could get the number 1 pick, what pick will we give GWS? Top 5?



Potential incoming coaches need to read this before applying, SOS & Sons and Judd are like Carlton royalty, and they will need a guillotine and Madam Defarge doing her knitting to mount a revolution at Carlton to cut off the rotting head of the fish ( sorry about the mixed metaphor.)

From TFC fan forum:
"…SOS has to take responsibility for the dismal and appalling recruiting of the following players:

** Alex Fosolo: What the hell were they thinking in recruiting a guy who is clearly past it? Collingwood dumped him to the VFL because they knew he was expired. He is injury prone and overweight, and looks way past it

** Darcy Lang: The Worst recruit ever. We got him based on One good game he played for Geelong. Nothing else… Big body but does nothing with it. Terrible kicking and turnover king. Worst recruit ever

** Mathew Kennedy: We really were cheated with this Guy. No wonder GWS gave him away so easily. Same story as Lang. He is a regular injury prone player and when he is on the park, does nothing to support Cripps.

** J. Silvagni: I am sorry SOS but you need to get your sons away from our Club. They are useless as hell. Too slow, too predictable, no forward pressure and simply not up to AFL Standards

** Newman: Whilst he has been going OK in replacing the injured Doherty, we are now begging to see why Sydney were happy to let him go. He is a turnover King. Today, he killed us. Last week he killed us. Not good enough

** H.Macreadie: Injury prone, too skinny, too weak, and not even VFL Standards. What the hell were we thinking in recruiting him?

** Williamson: Rubbish… Injury prone and is never going to make it… We got cheated again

** Pickett: Was supposed to be the new Eddie Betts. No where near it… Again, injury prone and has done nothing at the club so far…

** Lobe & Phillips: Average Ruckmen who will never be selected at any other AFL Club but Carlton. If Kreuzer goes down, We are shot to pieces.

** McGovern: I have said it from day one… He is Rubbish…A Cameo player who will give you the mark of the year or give you one good game in a while, but he is not consistent, and Injuries will be his thing.

** Garlett: Rubbish pick… Waste of time




Oddly enough that’s the exact face I made when I watched the Bolton press conference.


Judds bought a massive pile in Brighton for $7.5M . But its a bit neglected, so they are renovating it.
Problem is his cars dont fit in the garage. Solution. Spend $50k removing a column and putting a steel beam in there. I hope he can fit his collection of grange into the wine cellar.


He has all the perfect creds for a position at AFL House. Watch and wait.


Well, he won’t need to make room for a larger trophy cabinet.


Aren’t wooden spoons kept in the kitchen?


Young Bec will renovate it on the cheap using her blog to do contra deals with suppliers. They will live in it for 12 months and one day before selling it for a capital gains exempt profit.

Rinse and repeat.


FCFC had a good win against the Lions coming from behind to cause an upset. Glad they changed coach after our game.

Incidentally, North are doing better since Scott left, Fark Carlton have started…see a trend?
Should it soon be our turn?


l reckon the Dees would be before our turn.


There should be a rotary system of coaches - swapping out after each round.
Wait - think about it. Not the craziest of ideas.


Take it to the hot take thread


Yes sure but it could still be our turn soon…before or after the Dees. :wink:


But if every club changes coach every round, there will be no advantage from the bouncing deceased pussey. I would rather see a coaching pool in the same way we used to have typing pools. The younglings will need to google that one.
Every player of each club gets the same coaching from the coaching pool, where all ideas are pooled and spread out evenly over the competition. It’s a socialist version of footy. China will love it which means gil will wet his pants in excitement when he hears about it.