Simmo's Disparaging Anecdotes About Opposition Players

[simmo41]

The peak of floggery is a self-appointed nickname. Now you might argue simply assuming your surname doesn’t really count as a nickname as such, but when you offered up unfunny banter and followed it up with your surname shouted in the manner Dayne would do it, then it totally counts as peak floggery.

Two mandarins and a banana left in a fruit bowl. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Spends the rest of the afternoon at Woolworths because he got the number 69 ticket at the deli. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Deliberately making mistakes during drinking games so he can gargle down more Asahi. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Goes to the pub. Puts on All Star by Smash Mouth every time. Sings along every time. Replaces “all star” with “Zorko” in the chorus every time. Gets glassed. Every time. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

On the V-Line Quiet Carriage. Has been holding them in all day. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Takes a dump at a car wash. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Opts out of wearing a safety harness (his words - “girl’s harness”). Snapchats a picture of the nurse at the Alfred with an arrow pointing at her boobs. A really big arrow. ZORKOOOOOOOOO

Gets arrested in Pyongyang and sentenced to 15 years hard labour for smuggling a bunch of whoopie cushions in which seems pretty trivial to us westerners but over there this is worse than heroin trafficking because it’s just so incredibly rude, and the Australian government spent nine days negotiating for his release in the most perfunctory manner possible.

ZORKOOOOOOOOO

[dingus]

Oh, that’s a good one.

[SMJ]

Puts on All Star by Smash Mouth every time. Sings along every time. Replaces “all star” with “Zorko” in the chorus every time.

I’m totally now going to do this

[simmo41]

Twice I’ve seen Scott Thompson kick a dog.

First time, at the park, dog had barked at him or something. Didn’t put much behind it but it shut the dog up.

Second time though, jeez. No reason. Just a short run up…FWOOMP…back to his phone.

[Kj_11]

just catching up, after our wins, it was building nicely, but the last one was a real let down.

a bit desperate sounding, but its to be expected its norf, an irrelevant club and almost understandable that you would struggle

[dingus]

@simmo41 is simply part of the AFL cover-up on this one.

The second one wasn’t a dog. It was a small child.

Just a coincidence that they let that kid toss the coin today?

[FuriousGeorge]

Bump.

Lift your game, @simmo41.

[Preliminary_Point2]

Simmo was going to disparage Ablett, but the AFL silenced him.

[dingus]

Hey everyone! let’s all @ simmo until he disparages an opposition player!

@simmo41

[Preliminary_Point2]

Hey @Azza78 can you keep track of how many times we @ @simmo41

[Sameolds2010]

Yep.

My grade 3 story of ‘who is that bomber player whose autograph I got?’ Was Ed Considine.

There’s a tie in.

He flew a plane I was in once.

Did a good job, felt like he’d done it a few times.

[Tombob]

I stood in a line at the bank with Brad Fox

Join the dots people

[Sameolds2010]

Bloke l worked with was at a domestic airport lounge/bar when he spotted Warnie at a table. Went up and asked if he could sign a beer coaster for his son. Warnie took the coaster and started writing then handed it back. My work mate walked off and thought he’d scored a nice sig for his son until he looked at the coaster and instead of warnie’s sig it just said “f@$k off”.

I’ve got a Warnie story which I won’t tell here but he is as close to pure narcissist as you’ll ever possibly meet

[Sameolds2010]

I once bought C Mainwaring a drink at around 4.30am on the Saturday morning before he was due to play on the following Sunday afternoon.

Can’t recall exactly when it was but I have a feeling it was around 1993. And if my memory serves me correctly, he played pretty well, too.

Im related to him.
Or at least was.

[JohnRain]

I shared this a while ago in another thread, but it belongs here now.

A group of us (ladies & gents) were out clubbing in '97-98 when a random bloke became a bit too familiar towards us. Someone asked him ‘Sorry, mate, but do we know you?’ to which the guy replied ‘Yeah, you should. I’m Shane Woewodin. I play footy for the Demons. You know, Shane Woewodin?’ We all moved to another section of the club.

[dingus]

I once observed Alan Ezard re-stocking the chocolates in a high-end supermarket in Heidelberg.

I thought this behaviour quite odd, until I saw he was wearing a Cadbury polo shirt.

[efc1robbo]

You can’t tempt us like me that. TELL IT!

[Diggers]

He was good fun.

[Sameolds2010]

It was a story about him when I met him in UK being nice.

[simmo41]

Simmo was going to disparage Ablett, but the AFL silenced him.

Him liking the Folau post was my anecdote. I think the wider media took care of that one for me.