Sliding Doors. Blitz style

Its the time of the year to put the season in some kind of perspective. Barrett has introduced this format on the AFL social media site it would be fun to use his own format against him, the AFL, any other club player or commentator, or just make us laugh.
I will kick it off. You go for it.

AFL Media: IF Damien Barrett cant get an interview with Hurls, and cant get any true information: Then why not just make something up.

This format suits any one with a small personal device! :slight_smile:

The Truth - If Damien Barrett isn’t a flog Then We don’t really know what one is.

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The Truth: If BB hadn’t mentioned Damien Barrett. Then: I would never have known about this sh!thead.

(Thanks Blitz).

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The Truth: If Darcy Parish was female Then: He'd look a bit like Gwenyth Paltrow..

(Thanks Blitz).

If Michael Hurley signs with Essendon… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Jobe Watson keeps his Brownlow Medal… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Michael HibbArd doesn’t reunite with drug budz Goodwin and Melksham next year… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t draft McDonald-Tipungwuti… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t delist Nathan Grima… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Matthew Stokes doesn’t get to play his 200th game this year… Then this once great club has brought the game into further disrepute

IF: Blitz made authored him a Wikipedia page THEN: We could turn the tables and start spinning some of our own truths, starting with him getting into his wife.

“Backhand Barrett”

IF: Damien Barrett came across the biggest story of the year that indicted the AFL THEN: he wouldn’t report it.

#communicationsspecialist #boughtandpaidfor #canthashtag

IF: you can’t see that the NRL is well poised to make up a lot of ground on the AFL over the next few years

THEN: your brainless stupidity could provide a career opportunity in the AFL media

IF: It was actually a proper sliding doors with two different outcomes THEN: It might be interesting to read.

IF: You are a journalist or want to be a journalist THEN: You should despise the communication specialists for turning your profession into nothing more than gossip traders.

IF: The print media wasnt in its death throes, Then we wouldnt see all these " AFL print media journalists" trying to get their foot in the door in the broadcast media

If Michael Hurley signs with Essendon... Then we'll be very surprised

If Jobe Watson keeps his Brownlow Medal… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Michael HibbArd doesn’t reunite with drug budz Goodwin and Melksham next year… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t draft McDonald-Tipungwuti… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t delist Nathan Grima… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Matthew Stokes doesn’t get to play his 200th game this year… Then this once great club has brought the game into further disrepute

I thought we had drafted tippa.
Im surprised anyone didn’t know we had.

If Michael Hurley signs with Essendon... Then we'll be very surprised

If Jobe Watson keeps his Brownlow Medal… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Michael HibbArd doesn’t reunite with drug budz Goodwin and Melksham next year… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t draft McDonald-Tipungwuti… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Essendon doesn’t delist Nathan Grima… Then we’ll be very surprised

If Matthew Stokes doesn’t get to play his 200th game this year… Then this once great club has brought the game into further disrepute

I thought we had drafted tippa.
Im surprised anyone didn’t know we had.

Yeh, that Darcy Parish is another really good top up.

If Damien Barrett was a character in a movie Then he would be ‘The Gimp’ from Pulp Fiction

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IF my dad accepted my assertions that Damien Barrett is living proof of shtposting being a valid career choice
THEN maybe he’d finally admit he’s proud of me

IF today Barret still thinks Hurls is a chance to play for for St Kilda THEN He probably doesnt realise how significant that win was for the whole club.

IF I took my job seriously…

THEN: I wouldn’t be in ■■■■ threads like this.

If the first word is fark
Then the next word must be carlton

If-Blitz didnt mention barrett
Then- would he actually exist?

If I asked barretts mum on a date then will that cause angst with Dorothy mantooth.