I need to mop the floor, but I can’t get off the puter 
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DJ Brady came to visit I guess?
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You just gave me an idea. I’ll ring his mum and she can come over and mop it up for me.
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The trifecta.
Top job.
Welcome 
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We have a big fish! Welcome Jake
The AFL Trade Period has officially started. Here’s how it actually works.
North Melbourne announce they have built up a ‘War Chest’ and make huge offers to the biggest free agents
The top free agents spurn North Melbourne, instead using their interest to drive up new deals with their existing clubs
People on Big Footy forums make up ridiculous trade rumours
Mainstream media run these trade rumours as fact
Players announce they’re leaving the Crows
A fully grown adult cites ‘homesickness’ as a reason they want out of a club.
Fremantle make their annual announcement that they are interested in Jesse Hogan, like your mate who says he’s interested in Jennifer Lawrence every now and then
Media announce Jesse Hogan is off to Freo
Exact same media break the news that Hogan is not off to Fremantle and act like they never raised the original story in the first place
Collingwood announces they’re going to be a ‘big player’ in the trade period.
You read an article on who your team needs
Your team gets none of these players
Trade period actually starts
Twitter explodes
Players with existing, legally binding contracts, announce they will not honour them
Players also refuse to let their existing team take the highest possible offer, instead announcing they will go to a specific club or nominate for the draft
The player’s existing club says they will force them into the draft ‘if they have to.’
Player is traded to the club they want
Essendon prove difficult to deal with
Collingwood signs a veteran no one else wants and still pay overs. This is all they do in the trade period.
Not a bad get from Titus O’Riley
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McCartney and sundry other Bulldogs executives sitting on Peter Gordon’s head to keep him out of the discussions.
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14.00 hours. Its all over.
That was like the birth of my first son after an exhausting 32 hour labor capped off by a caesar.
Then you get the prize at the end.
Relief.
Except that this time my wife had nothing to say except , “who is Jake Stringer ?”
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Except it looks like the AFL are going to allow some more post-2pm trades.
Governance.
I need to mop the floor too but I’m guessing there is a different mess on my floor to yours.
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Thanks everyone, it’s been real.
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I’ve been out earning a living. Did Freo seriously get selection #2 for L Weller?
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So Essendon enter the trade at pick 48
Yep they go to the draft with 2 and 5 now
Got 3 insta-best 22 , now get some speculative kids late in the draft. We have some, right under our noses.
well the draft.
It’s the thought that counts though
I’m not sure … we did just get stringer … hmmmm
Why wasn’t this deal signed off on Monday or Tuesday so we could focus on other things?