Substandard training report (the report, not the training) Friday 13th May, Etihad

About 300 people showed up to watch open training at Etihad in perfect conditions . We had to sit behind the goals at the Lloyd (city) end, which meant that none of us could see a thing due to the sun, but that won’t stop your intrepid correspondent from filing a report.

Players wore orange tops and were upbeat and vocal from the moment they showed up at 11:15am. Absentees - Laverde, Dempsey, Smack, Simpkin (as expected) and Cooney, unexpectedly. Training consisted of warm-ups followed by stoppage drills. The first drill involved a ball-up on the wing, tap down to a rover (Zakka, Zerrett, Darcy etc) then a series of footpass / handball / footpass through to Brown and Daniher in the forward line. Players looked sharp, although it has to be said there was zero pressure. This was followed by some in-tight stoppage work where players would try to break free and get a snap on goal.

Observations:

  • Hartley is a magnificent kick - could watch the guy roost the ball all day. He nails people with passes and can hit it 70 metres
  • Goddard is elite everything. One of those guys who'd have been a gun at any sport he took up
  • Ambrose looked sharp. Not the most natural looking mark or kick but always hit the target
  • Zaharakis cruised around the ground like a Rolls Royce
  • Walla's disposal is a weapon - drilled his targets with both feet
  • Crowley does NOT stop smiling, ever. I think it's the set of his facial features, nobody can be that happy all the time
  • Parish's kicks spin end over end more than any other player I know. Makes them easy to mark
  • Has anyone noticed how Zerrett ■■■■■ his right elbow when kicking on his left? Minutiae folks, that's what you get from Humbert that Jackie and Karma just don't deliver. Who needs in-depth analysis and high-res photos when you've got Zerrett's-right-elbow watch?
  • Bags did lots of goal-kicking practice at the end and kicked something like 15.2. Bit of a dead-eye
  • JoeDan on the other hand was spraying them. Either he poked them to the left and they stayed left or he went hard at the goals and they swerved right. I'd seriously consider getting him up the ground against Norf, almost as a tall wingman
  • A bunch of about 25 child-care kids were there with their carers. Very cute! Michael Hartley went around high-fiving them all after training
  • I asked Skeeter if he/she/it was a girl or a boy and he/she/it seemed unsure

So yeah, not much of a training report. Really, they just ran around and acclimatised to the ground. Remember, a third of the team have barely even set foot on Etihad. I took some photos with my iPhone looking into the sun, so you can imagine how they turned out. This report doesn’t even deserve its own thread. Sigh.

and Cooney, unexpectedly.

He probably rocked up at Tulla thinking “Where the heck is everybody?”.

Good job. I had intended to go, but had a two year old waking up every 2-3 hours all night.

Cooney interesting. Maybe we’re playing funny buggers and Gwilt will actually play instead.

don’t be so hard on yourself bud, any training report is great. Thanks for making the effort to post what you saw.

Question for you- when Joe was practicing goal kicking, was anyone watching him or giving him advice or guidance?

Michael 4 Cooney

  • A bunch of about 25 child-care kids were there with their carers. Very cute! Michael Hartley went around high-fiving them all after training.
  • That was my doing - when I saw the open training email I forwarded it on to one of the teachers at Gowrie (which is our childcare centre at the end of Bourke st in Docklands). Was pretty pleased that they made it out there, a few Bombers fans in the teachers I think. Good to plant the seed early in the yougsters, they looked like they had heaps of fun and was a nice day for it too.

    Lots of frightened looks on the teacher’s faces when the balls missed the net and smashed into the chairs though! Kids din’t mind though and thought it was good fun.

    Cooney interesting. Maybe we're playing funny buggers and Gwilt will actually play instead.

    or Michael

    don't be so hard on yourself bud, any training report is great. Thanks for making the effort to post what you saw.

    Question for you- when Joe was practicing goal kicking, was anyone watching him or giving him advice or guidance?

    Skippy was there with him the whole time, also someone else at various times that I couldn’t recognise. Spent the last 15 mins practicing on his own while the rest of the team were doing autographs, most people waited around for him and he signed a few shirts but left a lot disappointed.

    Nicely done HH.

    Considering my training report when just be dot points that repeat “Michael Hartley is awesome” I think you did really well.

    funniest training reports ever.

    Cooney interesting. Maybe we're playing funny buggers and Gwilt will actually play instead.

    Nah, Cooney hardly ever trains on field the day before a game.

    And Joe had 5 shots at goal and slotted one

    And Joe had 5 shots at goal and slotted one

    Will take that.

    And Joe had 5 shots at goal and slotted one

    On the improve?

    And Joe had 5 shots at goal and slotted one
    Really? I really hope someone is putting in plenty of hours with him during the week. If his goal kicking improves, his confidence will come back quickly..
    Cooney interesting. Maybe we're playing funny buggers and Gwilt will actually play instead.

    Nah, Cooney hardly ever trains on field the day before a game.

    Correct. Part of managing the knee.

    Docklands is decidedly non-spongey.

    don't be so hard on yourself bud, any training report is great. Thanks for making the effort to post what you saw.

    Question for you- when Joe was practicing goal kicking, was anyone watching him or giving him advice or guidance?

    Skippy was there with him the whole time, also someone else at various times that I couldn’t recognise. Spent the last 15 mins practicing on his own while the rest of the team were doing autographs, most people waited around for him and he signed a few shirts but left a lot disappointed.

    that’s poor from Joe

    Thanks H H. Really enjoyed your report- live up the bush so love hearing any news from training- thnx! Hope Joey can turn things around for himself tomorrow.