The Collingfark/Weagles Joke Thread

That’s a classic.

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Why can’t the police solve murders in Collingwood?

Because the DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.

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On a tour of Australia, the Pope took a couple of days off his itinerary to take in The Great Ocean Road on an impromptu sightseeing trip.

His 4X4 Popemobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion heard just off the headland. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Collingwood jumper, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a twenty-foot shark.

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Essendon jumpers roared into view from around the point. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim and fired a harpoon into the shark’s ribs, immobilising it instantly.

The other two reached out and pulled the Magpies supporter from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and then prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic shouting from the shore. It was of course the Pope, and he summoned them to the beach.

Upon them reaching the shore the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, “I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I had heard that there was much hatred and disdain between Collingwood and Essendon fans, but, now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true. I can see that your society is a truly enlightened example of cultural harmony and could serve as a model on which other peoples could follow.”

He blessed them all and drove off in a cloud of dust.

As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, “Who was that???!” “That,” one answered, “was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God’s wisdom.”

“Well,” the harpoonist replied, “he knows f*ck all about shark hunting. How’s that bait holding up or do we need to get another one?”.

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Deserves way more than just a like!

An oldie but a goody.

What is Ben Cousin’s favorite app on his phone?

Nose candy crush

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80,000 Collingwood fans crying, priceless. The bigger they are the harder they fall, if I see this, this season was a success.

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What was ben Cousin’s first question at his drug test?

“What drugs am i testing?”

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I snorted.

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Cracking thread

I don’t get it

You didn’t get it quite right

" He blessed them all, fondled an alter boy , and drove off in a cloud of dust.

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Yeah I am still trying to fathom how Collingwood made the GF as well

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image

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NOW LISTEN

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OH WE’RE STEPPING OUT

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