The mental health thread

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3763

I asked the other day if anyone in here had experience with functional (psychogenic) seizures. Unfortunately it seems I’m in uncharted waters.

My eldest has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy and in addition to epileptic seizures they’re experiencing regular, extended functional seizures.

I had never heard about them but they don’t seem particularly rare. The way a neurologist has described them is like when someone gets nervous before giving a big speech and they get physically jittery. It’s that same response failed up to a sense of life or death, which causes a stress overload and the body’s response is to go into seizures. In our situation they’re very confronting in that the shortest of them has run about 90minutes, but the longest has run 9hours.

My poor kid is distraught and it’s really hard to see. Lots of tears, lots of why me, lots of don’t I have enough to deal with. They have a complex mental health case and this isn’t helping any of that. Try telling a teenager that the way to stop having seizures is to get better at managing your stress.

For me, it’s ■■■■. Everything is on hold. I can’t be anywhere but by there side in case a seizure happens. I think we’re up to 6 or 7 ambulances since the end of May. They can’t go to school because school seems to be a potential trigger and then I am trying desperately to keep their confidence up because they see being pulled out of school for their own safety as a failure. Getting the phone call from the school about the first major functional seizure, which occurred directly after an epileptic seizure where they were administered midazolam, I was terrified they were going to die as I drove to the hospital.

I’m very thankful for good friends who’ve helped us manage our younger kids as I’ve been in and out of hospital. A support network is a really underrated thing. I know I’m writing this because at some level I know I should be reaching out to someone in my network and just talking, but I’m worn out. On an emotional levelI really just want to crawl into a hole and wait for the whole thing to go away, but I know that’s not helpful or healthy and so I’m ignoring the emotions and trying to keep on doing the next thing, as it comes up, as pragmatically as possible.

Mental health is a complex and brutal thing sometimes. Hugs your families more.

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3764

It is at moment like, that l feel most unable to offer any sort of help. I had not heard of this condition until l read your post, and have no advice. It is good that you have a support network, and l think your child needs one as well. Perhaps an educational institute can be found in time that will not trigger any seizures. For now, home schooling looks to be a viable option. If l can think of anything else later, l will be back.

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3765

I’m really sorry I can offer nothing tangible other than you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope you can find answers and a path forward.

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3766

I have no idea of the current legalities in your area, but have you looked in to CBD oil?

And needless to say, this sucks and my best wishes for you, your family and the offspring.

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3767

It’s popped up on our radar literally today. This has all ramped up since May, so there’s still a lot of uncertainty about a path forward.

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3768

Mate, that sounds really rough. I’m sorry that your kid - and by extension you and your family - are going through this.

I’d never heard of it before, so just did some quick googling of it. Seems it’s a totally different mechanism to the epileptic seizures, so to suffer from both?? Life is indiscriminately unfair at times.

Dingus’ suggestion of the CBD oil is absolutely worth looking into for the epileptic side of things, not sure there is any science behind it’s use for the functional seizures. But obviously, I’m not a doctor, so I’ll let them guide you on that.

I wish I had something more constructive to say. I just hope you find the right treatment.

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3769

One thing I can suggest is mention this to your son’s treating doctor or even the nurses in the hospital as well. They may have suggestions for you as well. You don’t need to talk to them in front of your son as that’s understandable.

It takes a lot of courage to keep fronting up day after day so all I can give you is my support and to remind you, you’re doing the best you can.

Best wishes to your family.

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3770

Consider looking for a Facebook support group. Your medical team may know of one.

I have / had a rare medical condition and the Facebook group was incredibly supportive and informative. The group was recommended to me by my medical team and they were loosely affiliated with various medical specialists across the country.

Edit: I did a quick search and found a few likely candidates including one called “Parents of kids with seizures” and some that were clearly geared toward non-epileptic seizures

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3771

Where do i start. I wasn’t even sure to post this or not. I would say my really poor mental health run started at approx the time i got banned for 18 months. And really, i dont know why. I’ll say though, when i got banned i deserved it. What i said was disgusting. I reached out to that poster upon returning and apologised

3 years ago i was at the top of my game. Recently married to the love of my life. Healthy children. House. Successful business. I was living the white pickett fence dream, a life i had always craved

I suffer from memory loss. My long term memories are not good - eg i cant remember a lot from that period. My psych tells me this is from childhood trauma and i supress good, and bad memories. This is actually quite depressing and i get down about it a lot

Fastforward to march 2025 - i entered perth clinic for 3 weeks to work on my mental health after a meltdown which was ultimately the beginning of the end of my marriage. On exit of PC, i moved in with my mother. Still was spending 1-2 nights a week at home. I stayed sober for three months after that, really felt like i had turned a corner. I was feeling really goid and had made big steps forward. At that 3 month point, had an arguement with my wife, threw my keys at my car and that was it. All over. I was told that proved i had changed nothing

My whole life collapsed. I cannot even begin to describe the pain i felt, and still feel. Its better these days, but still very difficult

I held on for 6 months. I did everything i could. I was going above and beyond. I was so, so desperate to not lose my family or wife. Some times we came close, we were still in bed at tines until november. other times it’d suck. I think there was a lot of false hope there

Between christmas and NYE i was hit with a FVRO, reasoning essentially being i was harrassing my wife too much about our relationship status. I knew at times i could be overbearing, im a passionate person. This though, i felt wasnt fair. Conditions were i could only talk about kids or property stuff. Over the NYE period we both talked about things other than this, i got emotional on NYE, the first one apart

Jan 4 this year, arrested with breaching it No bail. Spent a night in perth watchhouse. One of the worst nights of my life in a cell with 3 drug addicts. 1 toilet. 1 ■■■■ mattress and blanket on floor. Next day, got bail. I was facing 4x minor “technical” text message breaches. The context of them and what i said would make you wonder how on earth its fair to put a man through this, for it.

I spent the next montg before court in hysterics. Was i going to jail? 3x breaches and the courts obligation is jail time. I had 4. Worst month of my life. I was so scared of losing my boy. I ended up getting a $1200 fine with the magistrate telling me im clearly just a heartbroken man. Since then this has been settled as a CAO, i was arrested AGAIN for another 4x breaches via text which i maintain i did absolutely nothing wrong. I plead not guilty to these, and have trial late october

Sone of the things ive been accused of over the past 12 months are completely untrue. Do bit even get me started on my views of frivilous claims that dont even need to be proven. Ive never been perfect but i never deserved this

Since then, my ex wife has stopped all contact with my step son. I raised him from 2-9. Last time i saw him was christmas day, and he still called me dad. Between june-dec our relationship was still good. Then one day i got told he does not want to see me anymore and he’s angry at the way i have treated her. This cuts me every day. He wasnt a step son to me, he is a son. I think about him every day

My father has not called me since we broke up. I have not seen him in 18 months. I have reached out, but i dont get much back

My wifes position financially is if we sell the house, rough figures are she gets/needs 90% of over 500k of equity as she needs to be able to buy another house. I dont think i have met one person in this world who thinks this is fair. We are currently doing mediation but she is steadfast on her position.

She also wants to move 2 hours away and go from 50/50 with our 4 year old biological son, to 6 nights a month. My boy is the light of my life. My total world. The sweetest. Cheekiest, funniest, wild child you could ever meet. She cannot do this without my consent or a court order. Im told its very, very unlikely but its still always there lingering. I spent 15k getting an interim parenting plan signed to give me 50/50 & joint decision making locked in, which expires in december. So theres the pressure of getting that locked in long term. Going to 6 nights a month would just about finish any hope i had in this world. Ive spent so long doing 50/50 so i doubt it happens but this more than anything chills me to my core

Then, the cherry on top 2 weeks ago. My shed and all my belongings burnt down due to a diesel burner/oil burner spilling

Im insured, always have been, considering what i owned. Im a small business owner with probably 100k of machinery. Insurance were hounding me about payment or they would cancel it, at that stage i was watching money drain going through lawyers, the truth is my bill priority laid elsewhere. If you’ve been through it, you’d know. I didnt want it to lapse for 3rd party so i paid the basic with everything else to be added in a month or so to avoid the big premium that i couldnt afford at the time due to lawyer bills. that hadn’t happened yet so thats my own doing and i have to accept it and take respinsibility

My mum tells me she she didnt get house insurance when her and the old man split which was gonna be my last hope, So yeah, not a great position. Im out of pocket 100k+

Everything is gone. Work machinery, camping and fishing gear, bikes. Swags. Tools, Memoribilia. I had even taken my ute canopy off, awning, roofrack, drawers, solar, 12v system to refurbish my ute tray so theres that gone. Im most devestated about my camper trailer and my son’s bikes. I had just restored his PW50 from the ground up to new, and his 16" ktm Stacyc electric bike i bought him for christmas. I saved $1500 for it and it was his favourite thing, it hurts me so much he doesnt have that anymore. These are the things that we have made the best memories with that are not easily replaceable now, as i have a shed to fix and work gear to buy

Watching your life burn before your eyes is something no one should ever experience. This is the last thing i needed. Im just a single dad trying to make ends meet, trying to rebuild his life so to have this happen is a bitter pill to swallow after everything

I struggle a lot but im grateful for what i have, and thats being a father to my 4 year old. I cherish it more than life itself. Honestly i cannot describe how much it means to me. My business has massively suffered the last 18 months, i battle mental demons of a failed marriage and family. I miss my 10 year old boy. Its really hard. I would not wish a split family and going through a financial seperation on my worst enemy. I still struggle with trying to accept a future as a family. A huge peice of you dies inside and does not go away

I try to stay positive. Some times are really tough though. Trying to figure out how im going to financially recover is clearly my biggest stress at the moment. Ive built a business once, i can do it again, but that 100 grand should be going towards a house deposit to build a new life with my son. What do you do though. Onwards and upwards

Thanks for reading

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3772

I’ve hit like, but I don’t think ‘like’ is the right word for this.

That’s a lot to deal with mate, and it takes a metric fark tonne of balls to share it on here like this.

Sorry you’re going through all that. Life can, and will, turn around again at some point.

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3773

Man that was hard to read. I’m sorry for what you’re going through mate and have been through. You’re human man, we all are. I’ve been struggling a bit at home of late. Struggling to balance everything, and all the pressure. It’s hard not to be moody. I feel like I’m battling anger on a genetic level every day, and trying not to drown in burn out.

I get where you’re coming from about the kids - my 4 year old daughter is everything to me. Hold on to that and fight for it. From everything I’ve heard about custody etc, I think you’ll be okay. I’m an accountant and have dealt with a few divorces now. It’s pretty much always 50/50 (sometimes a small deviation one way or the other) - the 90% thing is ridiculous and generally the family court should see it that way.

Try to be kind to yourself and keep doing things that energise you so you can rebound from things as best you can. If you’ve built a business before you can do it again. It’s a feather in your cap because not everyone is capable of it.

I hope things get better for you every day man.

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3774

Jeezus ■■■■ wob
That sucks

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3775

Yeah, its been a rough trot thats for sure. Trying to find some sort of middle ground when i dont have my son is the hardest part. When im with him nothing else matters and im great. When i dont have him i basically dont leave the house. Im polar opposites. Trying to narrow that is by far my biggest challenge

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3776

Doubly fucken sucks then that your camping gear and bikes are gone.
I can drop into low spots like tha, need to make sure I’ve got some sort of structure, hobby, something organised.

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3777

Just the fact that you know this - have that awareness of the challenge - is a huge positive, and something that can give you hope. That is, you have the ability to reflect and observe yourself, seeing your thought/feeling patterns almost objectively…be proud of that as well as all your efforts. You’ll absolutely get through this period and all its thick, seemingly impossible times. You absolutely will. Sometimes you’ll just have to hold on and let time pass by. That’s more than fine - it’s smart and tough. Best wishes mate.

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3778

WOB I’ve been on the wrong end of a bullshit AFVO. My partner decided she was moving out any took the kids with her and wouldn’t let me speak to them. I had done nothing that could come close to any definition of family violence. If I did the same thing that she did I’m pretty sure I would have had a SWAT team at my house.

I called her 20 times in a short space of time seeking to understand what was going on and that was enough for her to raise the order. It’s a soul destroying experience to have your kids taken away and to have to sit with that and do nothing. Takes you to some dark places. All you can do is wait it out and prove them wrong. All your instincts are screaming at you to fight and do something about it. Mine was set aside after its first court hearing, its first contact with evidence. Now I’ve got the kids 50/50. I’m doing well. I’m happy to have that PoS who would do something like that to the father of her children out of my life. The fact there was no substance behind the AFVO meant nothing. No penalty… nothing. She told the kids schools, my parents shared friends etc. as soon as the hear the word AFVO they treat you differently. I bet half of you people reading this are probably thinking ‘he must have done something’. You get tainted by it. I actually think people who misuse them should go to Jail.

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3779

For the record - genuine compassion goes out to those who have been subjected to genuine family violence. AFVOs are there for a reason and I’m sure help alot in many situations. Maybe someone should look into why men are 2-3 times more likely to end their lives after a separation. Just like no one should have to live with family violence, no one should have to live with being falsely accused of it.

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