An officer i served with in the AFP committed suicide yesterday. That’s four in two years. AFP culture needs to be looked at.
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Not just culture, but support as well.
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I’m amazed an people who serve as police and emergency health workers.
Constantly see and deal with people at their worst.
All for a pretty ordinary monetary reward all things considered, no way I could ever do it.
Cops are tops. (and anyone in emergency services)
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In another life time, when l had just begun college smoking dope was everywhere. We would smoke on campus, sometimes even in the stairwells in the middle of a two hour lecture session. l guess it gave new meaning to the word ‘smoko.’
In the end l largely gave it up. It wasn’t the cost, as it was so cheap, a lot of the time it was free and shared. No, in the end l gave it because of a side effect. I found that it was affecting my sleep in an unusual way. After smoking everyday for two weeks it felt very much like l was vividly dreaming from the moment l fell asleep to the moment l woke up. While that is probably not possible, that is certainly how it felt. As a result l woke up exhausted, l was getting sufficient sleep, but l wasn’t getting any rest.
l made a conscious decision to cut right back. Friends noticed and asked why, and l explained that at the end of the day l wanted to be the one in control of my life and l wasn’t going to delegate that responsibility and let drugs rule me. That was the path to addiction, and l wasn’t going to walk it.
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Definitely unusual, most heavy users report not dreaming. Then they quit and dreams come back.
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Friends who know me well, would say l have always been a dreamer.
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The times I’ve had a spell from smoking weed have been accompanied by VERY vivid dreams.
I’m not sure whether this is to do with the hooter or just because the dreams are remembered upon waking.
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I felt like at the peak of my anxiety issues about 4-6 years ago. I’d mostly dream of possession and hauntings and the like. Huge beast things sitting on the end of my bed and they were so large and heavy that my bedsheets were getting ripped off me. Ghosts laying on my ceiling that kind of thing. I guess even though I was asleep my body was in a constant state of fight or flight and i’d just wake up wrecked.
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Wow. Not sure if any drugs would have helped in a situation like that. What worked for me was having a couple of close friends l could always talk things out with, and also my mum. We could and did talk about any and all issues. She went through multiple mental breakdowns and spent a year in an asylum when she was 17, that was in the 1940’s. During her adult life she experienced electric shock treatment, and was dependent on medication, which over the years grew gradually stronger and stronger.
After all that, l realized my own troubles were minor by comparison, the challenges she faced in her mental health issues, gave me a lot of perspective.
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This week has been tough, when I lack sleep I really notice how much it effects me. My daughter was up a bit and I had to help out.
Last night I felt negativity creeping in heavy, I kept thinking about how im 37…no real mates like when I was younger…we used to always get together on weekends to hang out…watch footy, drink, listen to tunes…I gave that all away about 8 years ago…moved to the burbs…now no one visits. I miss that so much. Always had someone to have a beer with, now I never have anyone to drink beers with…and the city is an hour away so makes it hard to just head out for a few with old mates. I feel isolated now.
So that’s it, im getting it all back in dribs and drabs next year…more trips to watch the footy…go see more bands…get my music back on track…play more shows…start living life again.
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This is so true for me and now around six weeks the exact opposite happens for me @ Captain_Jack. I actually wake up feeling exhausted, it is getting better so I am sticking with it. It is probably just regulating my body to not rely on marijuana to release dopamine and slowly my body must be doing it. I really feel a lot happier and more in control of my emotions, tend to have a bit of a dance and sing in the morning when a good tune comes on and think to myself I have not done that for as long as I remember.
I am more thankful and proud of my accomplishments, a lot more tolerable to people being unreasonable and feel a lot more motivated ( except for the tiredness of not sleeping well ).
I am now having a few beers of an evening whereas would probably not mid week but eating well and keeping a closeful eye on consumption as I don’t want to go to alcoholism, but it is a nice relaxant.
I have been around a few people smoking it recently and haven’t had the urge to participate.
If and big if when I become financially independent from working, I would probably smoke it again. I don’t condone it at all, its just not the right thing for me atm in the hectic job I have.
My memory is so much more sharper, actually surprises me a lot of the time when people ask me things and I can reel of exact times locations without having to look it up, thus this also has helped my confidence and social interaction.
It is working for me to stop it although with side effects of the sleeping and just doing nothing, I have to keep doing things, like making up for lost time!
I expect it to be a long road for the many years I relied on it to do this for me.
To be honest I do miss it but the benefits are pretty good for not doing it.
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I think that is pretty normal at your age, most people are settling into families and the such and times of just hanging out and been free and easy are nearly non-existent. It happened to me as well at that age but I was caring for ailing father and thought I was missing out on everything only to find I really wasn’t. I understand the isolation part but you are not really alone if that makes sense as everyone else is not doing those things you love.
You are doing the right thing, go back to doing what you love when you can, you may not be able to do it as often as you used to but boy you will appreciate it more.
I really don’t know how I would survived without the internet being stuck at home caring for my father, but I found forums and developed new hobbies like Pinball that I could do at home which I met new friends, being able to talk about footy on Blitz, but yes the human interaction is a must.
so get back into doing some live shows, write songs because you really feel it, you will be ok!
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Keeping in mind that next year is less than 3 weeks away. As Monty Python so famously sang, “Always look on the bright side of life.”
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Another new hobby I picked up recently is restoring old BMX bikes, just gives me so much happiness seeing this everyday, keeping on the lookout for parts etc. Also back into motivation to finish restoring the old house 114 years old nearly there (Will start a thread on that as it has been 10 years)
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I hear ya.
One thing I found recently that has helped a lot was making myself make the time to see my mates.
Now a group of us guys go out every Thursday night for dinner. Nothing fancy, just a bowl of ramen or thai.
Sometimes the conversation goes deep, other times it’s all laughs.
It’s now something I look forward to the most .
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I’ve been lucky to find a happy medium with cannabis. It’s now a ‘maybe once on the weekend, or maybe not’ type thing. If i do smoke always sleep like a baby that night though , mainly as I’ve found the right strain - Blue Dream.
During the week, if I don’t get some exercise, I need something to help me sleep if it’s been a stressful day. Instead of cannabis or sleeping pills I now take mix of melatonin, GABA and 5-htp . All available online (iherb.com), cheap and non-addictive. I experience no side-effects, unlike the sleeping pills my doctor gave my at the height of my anxiety,
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The burbs have options right?
Play over 35s footy?
Join a tennis club?
Take up golf.
Join a cycling club.
Volunteer at your daughters school and innocently flirt with all the milfs?
Not in your exact shoes but have plenty of mates like it.
What’s your job?
Curious.
I notice a lot of surgeons, ER workers, other high pressure jobs listen to music, joke and don’t really take themselves too seriously.
Marvelous way to handle stress if you ask me. Enjoy the challenges as they come up by smiling at them.
I like video games and always have a good 15 to 20 min walk to end my day in the office.
It’s interesting the way different people react to pot, and giving it away. I was a daily smoker until not so long ago and really only stopped due to pressure from Ms CB who was (needlessly) afraid of getting busted (reckons she’d lose her job). Only bush weed in smallish doses, but regular. Giving it up, I expected the increase in motivation, recall, clarity that others mention but I didn’t get any of it as far as I can tell. Pretty much all I got was a greater tendency to get grumpy, increased alcohol intake, and the crazy dreams for a couple of weeks. I don’t think I’m any happier or more productive.
My mates an ambo and dragged people with limbs torn off from car accidents, rotting corpses of old people that have died alone (with 6 months of letters in his box), a bloke hanging from a bridge, suicides of plain lonely people, meth addicts etc etc
Just becomes part of the job.
Mind you he did serve in Iraq and Timor. Puts his PTSD to one side when working he says. Has seen a lot…
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