Why would you tell them youre leaving if you havent left, thats a bit awkward isnt it?
well if you put them as a reference, you probably need to tell them before they get a call.
Places generally only ever call references if they know theyre going to offer you a job.
In my profession its hard to get permanent ongoing. Most are fixed term contracts but if the one place is going to offer another 12months to you it becomes ongoing unless they can justify otherwise.
Higher up the pay scale you get, the harder the ongoing opportunity becomes
I have a mate who has had a 12 month contract for the last 20 years with the govt.
ive seen current employers sabotage at the 11th hour, someones signed a contract and then have their new employer say âi feel uncomfortable with proceeding with this due to new information ive questioning your skillset of a b and câ
Thatâs just wrong. It makes it incredibly hard to get loans and mortgages when you employment is fixed term.
Mentally I needed to get out of my last place so this is a breath of fresh air.
Just got to hope the boss likes what I do and makes it ongoing.
Worked at a place once where my Boss gave a former employee a very bad reference when asked.
He got sued and cost the Company a very big payout.
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So it all started on new years day when dad was completely tired and was having chest pains. Having had a heart attack and a triple bypass we had assumed the worst. An ambulance ride later and that was the last time we were able to see dad.
In hospital his heart was fine. Turned out to be internal bleeding. Took 2 days to pinpoint the source which was an ulcer in the stomach. Had gastroscopy to seal the thing. Blood transfusions needed to keep him going. Blood pressure was 80/40. His heart was working hard to keep him alive. His heart was fine. Kudos to his heart doctors.
So Thursday the cause was confirmed as the ulcer was cancerous. Complete and total shock to dad. After news from doctor nurses spent a lot of time with dad, just sitting with him holding his hand. Dad called me to tell the news then I went to see mum to break it to her. Mum called dad and there was no dry eyes to be found (mustâve been the high pollen count). I left mum for a while (she told me to give her space and come back later) so off I went to tell the grandparents (as mentioned above). This was the point I pulled over in a carpark and had to compose myself and thank you again for the kind words posted here or via pm.
Friday all the rest of the tests come through and it hasnât been found elsewhere. So fingers crossed itâs all localised and it can be beaten. Dad is having keyhole today in the stomach to check ulcer and to see if there are any more there. He may be home tomorrow or Monday. Thursday we go back to doctor for the plan of attack but it seems will be chemo then surgery to get the bugger out. May loose stomach but there are artificial stomachs these days.
Friday as well we finally broke the news to my brother as well. We had let him know dad was in hospital but he was moving out of his rental returning to Melbourne. He was already exhausted from the move and we didnât want to put the extra burden on him at the time as per mumâs request. In the mean time he was at a wedding just before new years and let me know his partner had tested positive (RAT) for covid and he was showing signs. Took a PCR on Tuesday, results still pending. So brother to me in the mean time not to let mum know as she also had enough on her plate with dad. So poor old me in the middle of two things as we all tried to keep each other from worrying over one more thing. In addition I couldnât say much here, cause the brother reads blitz as well! Had to hold it in.
So Friday as well dadâs brother called me asking how dad was as grandparents told him about dadâs situation. My poor grandparents think itâs only an ulcer. They are in their 90s but he said it might just be better that way. So without any preparation I dropped a bombshell on him.
So my mental position was all over the shop. The feeling of helplessness, unable to help, feeling like I had to take the burden of it all, sadness, fear everything. My partner of course helped where she can. Wasnât easy for her either to watch me fall down and force myself back up after each event. Blitz as well was so good for me. There is so much truth in the phrase trusting the kindness of strangers. It let me let out what I was holding it to move on to the next thing.
So, I wanted to share this just maybe for anyone suffering that sometimes even a small sentence put out there can give you so much relief.
Thank you all again and please look after each other 
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Thank you for the timeline and update. What a shocking situation to be in, compounded by no one able to be with anyone for support.
All of us are here if you need us mate, any time. All the best to your dad and to you and to all your family during this very trying time.
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Thanks IT
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Youâre so right, we never really know whatâs going on in other people lives and what a difference a kind word or gesture can make.
Take care of you and your lovely mum, dad is very lucky to have such love and care. Best wishes to him for a full recovery.
Take each step as it comes, each hour, each day. Make time for you and remember weâre always here, dad is part of the blitz family now ( poor man 
) and weâre all on his side.
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Dad, member here? You do realise he is a Richmond supporter??? 
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So hard for you, your own pain, while shielding family members from pain, an outward facade of a semblance of normality in life when events beyond your control put normality on hold.
Thinking of you during this time and wishing better times for you.
Family dynamics are so complex.
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We just need to imagine the right coloured sash⌠he is part of the blitz family now.
Take care Souly, and best of luck to your dad.
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My mental demons go way back and have been up and down. Itâs hard to talk about them but Iâm learning to let go and be in the present and with the help of psychologist, I have been able to build myself back up (if that makes sense).
Once the Psychologist informed me that what happened to me as a kid (made to do sexual things to older male teens and physical beatings by my mum and her ex partner) was not ok or my fault, I could start to rebuild my confidence.
They only recently flared up more so when I moved departments. Now I have a fresh start and not in leadership am I getting back to my ânormalâ.
Yes I have a short fuse with my own kids (which I am working on as I didnât have a father figure or a great example of parents and family life).
I am wanting to get back into skateboard as a way to be more active. Hardest part is saving for a skateboard and safety pads and as a single income family thatâs going to take time. In the meantime I have been listening to the resilience project podcasts and they have been amazing.
Martin Heppell is amazing. The project focuses on G.E.M which are the pinnacle to their program.
Gratitude - Focus on what you have or what went well. Not what you donât and didnât go well.
Empathy and Kindness - put yourself in others shoes and show kindness.
Mindfulness- Take time out and unwind. Be aware of your surroundings and in the now.
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The Resilience Project is excellent. Everyone should read or listen to it.
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Youâve shown extraordinary resilience against very difficult circumstances.
If I may enquire, how much is a skateboard and gear?
I was about to ask the same. I would happily chip in to help. Not for charity just for the sake of it, but for support. If it helps you unwind, be physical and expend your frustrations then it is well worth getting onto it now.
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Same. I would personally benefit from paying forward all the support Iâve been given.
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