MIKE: Didn’t you get our message? Neil, why didn’t you phone our message?
GUARD: [checking his clipboard] We did get a message, yes…“Beep beep beep, oh no heavy, the coins keep coming out, beep beep beep, even the telephone hates me, beep beep beep, I wish there were no machines, and everyone led a pastoral existence, trees and flowers don’t deliberately cool you out and go beep in your ear.”
NEIL: Yeah, that’s the message, didn’t you get it?
GUARD: Yeah, that was on the twenty-fourth. [Vyv attempts to enter the studio with a pig] Hang on, what’s that?
VYVYAN: It’s my mascot!
GUARD: A pig?
VYVYAN: No!
GUARD: It is.
VYVYAN: It’s not, it’s a ferret. A deformed ferret, I’ll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig.
GUARD: Looks exactly like a pig.
VYVYAN: Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.
GUARD: Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn’t it?
VYVYAN: Ha! And that’s where I had you fooled. Because it’s not a ferret, it’s a pig.
MIKE: Well done, Vyv, you’ve certainly got him there.
RICK: Have you had enough, Nazi, or do you want some more?