6yo cousin bragging about how she’s the smartest kid in her class and how she’s so great.
Me: How stupid must everyone else be if you’re the smartest kid in the class?
Her: Pretty stupid.
I’m going to be a terrible father.
Sat the young bloke down in front of the 93 grand final the other day. He loved it but had to question why Carlton were allowed to have girls playing just after kernahan took a mark.
IT DID HAPPEN
In chemist with young bloke waiting for a script. A large cut out Statue of Liberty was spotted next to a young girl also waiting: “HEY DAD, YOU GOT RIGHT UP INSIDE HER ONCE DIDNT YOU!”
Had miss 5's Prep interview today. "Please count has high as you can please" "1, 2, 3, 4 , 5, 6" etc,... (gets to 30) "OK stop there thanks. How high can you count?" "um..... 12 billion" "oh"she can’t btw. no idea where that number came from.
My boy says his kindy mate Harry can count to infinity. Then, “Dad, what’s one less than infinity?”
I love this thread.
Mostly just “no” with a talk to the hand action. Toddlers are fun!
Caught Miss 5 eating her boogers :s
"I love my boogies, they’re my favourite thing about me "
4 year old little miss Ivan at bed time - daddy did you know I can still hear you snoring even in my dreams.
My 4-year-old son was singing that Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen song from YouTube. He stops and asks a question:
“Daddy, why is it “pie”?”
“What’s “pie”?”
“Why is it “PIEapple”?”
“No, it’s “piNeapple”, with an “N”.” I say the word slowly and emphasise the “N” sound."
He tries. “Pie Nipple… Pie Nipple.”
…
“Close enough.”
4y.o.: Daddy, why isn’t Mummy home yet?
Me: Oh, she’s coming home late tonight, she’s meeting a friend after work.
4y.o.: But why is she gonna be so late?
Me: Well, they’re having dinner together, and they’ll be chatting a lot, and catching up.
4y.o.: And sleeping together?
Me: …
4y.o.: Daddy, why isn't Mummy home yet? Me: Oh, she's coming home late tonight, she's meeting a friend after work. 4y.o.: But why is she gonna be so late? Me: Well, they're having dinner together, and they'll be chatting a lot, and catching up. 4y.o.: And sleeping together? Me: ...
Well?
I’ll admit, a fleeting image of scissoring did pass through my mind.
Mum there’s a fly in the bathroom.
Mum there’s a fly in the bathroom
Mum there’s a fly in the bathroom
He did say it 4 times
Mum I just saw a fly in the bathroom
My son has decided what he wants to be when he grows up. Bob the builder by day, spiderman by night.
I have a habit of saying my Mrs “drains me” when she is annoying/nagging me to do some odd job around the house. It’s good natured.
Come home from work, junior looks a bit sooky and my Mrs tells me to ask the 3yo boy why she had to take a favorite toy off him and put it away for good. He was crashing it with force into his sister and the walls. I’m always telling him off about this.
Without skipping a beat his reason is “Because mummy’s a drainer!”.
Son wakes up first thing in the morning and rushes to the toilet. He doesn’t quite make it and makes a wee mess.
It’s taking him some time to come out, so my Mrs goes in to check on him. She finds him cleaning his doodle on the hand towel.
When asked (between fits of of uncontrollable laughter by me in the other room) why he didn’t just use some toilet paper like she has shown him, he replies “because this is softer mummy”.
I don’t want to know how many times he has got away with that and I have dried my face with that same towel.