Intergalactic dairy dairy, dairy dairy intergalactic
May have posted it before
My 6yo daughter was having a bit of a whinge yesterday and I started the “Right, young lady…” scolding when she cuts me off with “I’M NOT A YOUNG LADY! DON’T CALL ME THAT! I-AM-NOT-A-YOUNG-LADY!” (including foot stamping, arms crossed and bottom lip sticking right out). Luckily I was able to not laugh and reply with something along the lines of “No, I think you’ve just established you are a complete little ■■■■”.
A couple of years ago when I was explaining how Afghanistan is a muslim country and that muslims don’t eat pigs, my son responded with “No bacon? None at all? How did you last six months without any bacon at all? That totally sucks, Dad”.
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3yo is running around the house yelling I’m ‘Ocean Man’, and singing ‘We Care A lot’.
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Mr 3 was asked at his great grandmother’s the other day if he wanted some cream with his jam on a homemade scone. He said “Yes please.” Which was great until he followed up with “I also have cream on my willy when it gets red”
My nana and aunt who was visiting had no idea what to say.
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My five-year-old referred to something as “booberific” the other day. As we live in a foreign-speaking country, I’m far and away his main source of English, apart from maybe the Disney Channel. I don’t recall ever using the phrase, let alone in front of him. I don’t know, would Mickey describe something as “booberific”? Goofy maybe.
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Yossarian junior wants to know why I don’t exercise more, that way I can get fit and play for essendon instead of watching them. It only it was that easy at 40
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Currently teaching the 2 to to say Go Bombers and Screw Carlton.
Screw Carlton is much much clearer 
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“I was just playing with my car outside and now it’s on the roof”
Uh huh.
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Mr 2 y.o. likes to run around the house sans pants. Also likes to run up to people sans pants, pull his old fella and shout “BIG DOODLE!”
Also, he sat on the wife one morning while we were still in bed, he shuffled up to her face and let rip the biggest fart I’ve ever heard him do - I would have been proud to let that one go. His reaction? Turns around, looks his mum in the eye with an evil grin and laughs at her. So proud.
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Curious as to where he learnt that one.
Yeah I really should monitor what he watches - ABC Kids station is probably corrupting him…
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All that left-wing propaganda will corrupt the kids…
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“See the bombers play up, up, to win the premiership band”
Then, “Dad, what’s a premiership”?
I’m educating him…
No problems at all with “smelly old Carlton”
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There was a figure skating medal presentation on TV and the country flags were being hoisted.
“What’s that flag there?” I asked my five-year-old son. “The white one with the big red circle?”
“That’s this country,” he replied. “It’s Japan.”
“Ok, well what’s the one next to it? The red one with the yellow stars?”
He thought for a bit.
“I’ll give you a hint,” I said. “Pandas live there, and it starts with ‘ch’ ‘ch’ ‘ch’…”
“Chillax!”
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Went to the Dogs game at Ethiad today.
There was a little kid - maybe 4 years old max. DID NOT SHUT UP WHOLE GAME.
Imagine this teeny squeeky voice screaming these pearlers out:
- Jump higher ok!!!
- stop marking and more tacklng!!
- you gotta run much faster stringer
- you’re what my daddy says!
and my personal favourite -
you need stretching exercises!!!
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Oh, and how could I forget!
knock their balls out!
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Dingus Jr’s mother: “high 5?”
Dingus Jr: “No. I think I’ll leave a brother hangin’”.
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Miss 5 - “I think I’ll stick this Tic Tac in my bottom”
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Lol
Not so much what she said more so what she did.
Was playing “school” with my 5yo niece. My phone rang and she kicked me out of the class for having a phone on and gave me yard duty (yard duty consisted of picking up all the toys she’d gotten out)
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