shes getting ready for the festival scene.
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Kid: Dad?
Dad?
Dad?!
DAD?!
Me: What?
Kid: Where’s mum?
Every fricken day. And it’s usually something that they can do for themselves or I could do.
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Junior was putting his dinosaurs in compromising positions so i asked they were doing.
"This dinosaur is farting into the other dinosaurs mouth "
Oh.
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“You have fathers day and she has mothers day. When is kids day?”
You know the answer to that one.
When I asked my mum that, she said - “every ■■■■■■ day!”
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On a road trip the kids had a game. You say a word, and then everyone has to make up other words with the letters.
“THIS” was the first word…
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Mine says go Ablett all games every game.
Sick of telling him he doesn’t play every day.
Lol, he’s just winding you up
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“How does mummy wee if she doesn’t have a w i l l y? Is it magic?”
EDIT: W i l l y is censored lol
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Yes, son
Magic like stars.
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Kids escalate things real quickly too.
Sitting too close on the couch
‘If you don’t move I’ll throw this book in your face! Do you want me to throw this book in your face?’
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lol
Little while back now was having a chat to a young mother on the train to the city. Said mother had her two kids in tow.
Conversation with one of her kids who would have been about 6 went like this:
Me: “Are you doing anything fun today?”
Child: “we’re going to visit daddy”
Me: “that’s nice isn’t it?”
Child: “Daddy is in jail”
Me: “Oh really”
The look on the mums face was amazing.
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This reminds me.
I am in a classroom, just passing time waiting for something, surrounded by about 15 kids - 4/5ish.
I’m making paper airplanes for them all, and they are decorating them - the deal is - if you want a plane, you need to have a conversation with me while I make it.
All is going well. A young lady is waiting for her plane to be ready - and we’re chatting.
Me: What do you like about planes?
Her: They can fly
Me: How are you going to decorate this one when it’s done?
Her: I’m gonna colour it in. Red and Yellow.
Me: Ok - your turn to ask me a question.
Her: Ahm…where’s your mummy?
Me: Ahhh…she’s…not here anymore… (looking at teacher)
Her: Oh, is you’re mummy in jail too?
Me: What???No!!! My mum’s not in jail!!!
ps - this was in Ararat.
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My brother to his wife: “The last thing I’d call you is lazy.”
Later.
8 year old nephew to my brother:
“You’re really mean, Dad.”
“Why’s that, mate?”
“When mum’s on her deathbed, the last thing you’re going to say to her is, ‘You’re lazy.’”
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3yo: “We wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new yeaarrrrrr”
For the past 20 minutes…
It’s only july.
Kill me now.
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We just have to sing endless rounds of Happy Birthday and eat endless amounts of pretend cake.
5yo just asked me read the team out when he saw me looking at it.
“Begley, he’s new…”
Jr: “Myers, is he new?”
“No”
Jr: “Oh, haven’t heard of him, he mustn’t have got the ball much”
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So after he bugged me for ages I finally relented a few years back & took my eldest son along to his first Bombers game vs Swans
As usual we got the annual reaming by the maggots & lost by a few goals
But the highlight of Coopers day was dads mates & the funny chants they had for the game
Monday news time at school he was asked what he did on the weekend
“I went to the Bombers game with my dad & some of his friends who liked beer”
"They sang a song to the Swans supporters that went ‘where we you when you were ■■■■??!!’
Parent / teacher interviews it was suggested that dad take Cooper to alternate weekend events …
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I was driving with my 5 yo daughter when a guy cut me off. I responded with the appropriate attitude. That wasn’t good enough for my daughter who advised, “Dad, you should toot that fuckn wanker”.
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