Things yer little uns say


He could have said you were the one who smells bad.


“You know what? saxa make a really good salt.”

I’m clearly raising a salt aficionado here


Miss 5 “guess what I learnt at school today daddy” “what miss 5” “the dinosaurs didn’t invent Monday Tuesday Wednesday”


My 6yo has been all curious about God too (both the mrs and I are atheists). “So, who is God? And where is God?” We tried to do the sensible thing and explained that people have different beliefs and some people feel a strong connection to a presence. Lots of silent staring. Then “I am not sure I like God.” At this stage the mrs and I are wondering if we are being bad parents so go on a long lecture about having respect for people’s beliefs.

Cue next day and my daughter is FaceTiming with my religious mum “Do you believe in God, grandma? I really hope you don’t because I WILL NOT BE HAPPY!”.

The half death-stare, half laugh from my mum made me feel like I was 10 all over again!


Priceless :slight_smile:
I remember having the same talk with my kids - and they started to talk ‘in tongues’ at me.
Telling me, with serious faces, that I couldn’t understand because I didn’t believe…


This is what you get when your child goes to school in San Francisco:

Me: “Daughter, please help me with the dishes.”

No response.

Me: “Daughter! You need to help around the house. Please help me take the dishes out of the dishwasher!”

No response

Me: “Hey! C’mon! Mum and dad are doing all the dishes, you need to help!”

Daughter: “Daddy, can’t you see I am being mindful in my playing? You need to be mindful in doing the dishes!”

RIP me.


“Why did you say no? You always say no, this is why i like mummy better”


You need to change your tactics.

Telling her to do stuff is not going to work. Asking her to do so looks like it is not going to either.

Give it a rest for a few weeks. Let her overhear you talking to Mrs DonMania, saying that you think Miss DM is not old enough to do things like emptying the dishwasher.

Challenging her to rise to do things that older kids can do may give her the motivations to get the outcome you need.


I always found empty threats of extreme violence worked well.
‘Empty the dishwasher or I’ll chop your legs off.’


You may have raised an axe-murderer in waiting.

As you get older, you should keep a watch out as you doze off, especially if the traumatised dishwasher emptiers have access to your axe.


I think we’re fine.


I am sure you are.


Because I don’t actually have an axe.


The carrot or the stick. My Mum used the stick, we never questioned her authority.


Maybe your Mum gave advice on parenting to W1 too.


Well really, someone wielding a carrot is not overly intimidating.


Tell that to someone at a girls’ boarding school.


There’s a little difference there.


We’ve been teaching the kids not to just randomly open the front door and to check who is there before they open the door.

Anyway I was out today with Ms 10 and Mr 2, while my wife was home with Ms 7 & Ms 5 and our 10 day old baby.

She was trapped under sleeping baby when someone knocks on the door. Ms 7 looks out the window and runs down to Mum’s room to tell her that it wasn’t someone we knew. So Mum tells her to go back and tell them to go away.

Ms 5 hears this so runs to the front door and at the top of her voice starts screaming “GGOOOOOO AWWWWAAAAAAYYY, GOOOOOO AWWWWWAAAAAAYYY!!!”

Good to know Ms 5 has a promising career in crowd control ahead of her.


As some of you know, we lost our dog earlier this year and our almost 3 year old loved him to bits. We told her he went to the moon to chase rabbits and is having a great time. Every night before bed, she waves to the moon and says goodnight to him.

Last night she said she needed to grow butterfly wings, so she can fly to the moon to bring Floydy back :pensive: