‘Dad, you should come over here, I just farted’
When the local ice addict (who the police assure me is harmless) is at the servo wearing only a pair tracky dack’s and yelling at clouds.
“Dad. The crazy man’s in there”.
As mentioned earlier, I have four brothers, one close in age to me, the other three quite a bit younger.
Was great watching them grow up, going through the different phases of learning about words and their meanings.
Walking along with one of the younger ones, Jon, when he was about 3 or 4, and he says thoughtfully, “Carla… Anthony (brother close in age to me) is taller than you isn’t he?”
“Yes, Jon, very good! Anthony is taller than me” I replied.
He nodded, then smiled and said (as if to make up for it) “But you’re fatter than he is!”
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My seven years old farts up a storm. I said to him the other day "Mate do you do that in class?
He says “Yep!” (proudly)
I said “What does your teacher say?”
He says “She tells me not to fart, so I fart”
Obedient kid.
These require context a bit.
2 year old Sophie sameolds;
I can smell snakes.
What do they smell like?
Like lions.
Again;
Sophie, I’ve got the cubby house wall up what do you think?
I’m impressed.
5 year old Sam sameolds;
Dad, dad can we light a fire tonight? It’s cold I can asure you.
Sam - welcome to the cafe (holding menu on peice of paper), what would you like sir?
Orange juice
Excellent choice!
Gave him a music video on phone that was related to his questioning about electrical danger signs - high voltage by electric 6.
“Daddy a lady just showed her boobies”. Big grin.
Can I, ahem, get the phone back please?
Me to Sophie while watching Telly;
I think it’s bedtime
No it’s mighty Boosch time
Me - do you know what the biggest number is? Its Infinity. Don’t try and count it because you’ll be dead before you get there.
Sam: 1 2 3 4…
Me: What do you call a blind dinasaur ?
Sam: Dead.
And my fav;
If you don’t stop misbehaving we are going home. It’s up to you.
No dad, it’s up to you,
Little bugger!
My son and his buddies have learnt the word ‘sex’ from some of the older kids.
I asked them what it meant.
‘Dad, it’s complicated. Well, it’s like marriage, but worse than martiage’
I’m sick.
We’re are you sick?
In my brain.
We are going through the ‘poo stage’
My daughter - “I wish my surname was Poo, then I would get it on my car number plate”
My three year old says ■■■■! Instead of choc for chocolate
More ■■■■! Please
Recently told the story of the boy who cried wolf to yossarian junior. At the end we were discussing the lesson in the story to which I pointed out that you shouldn’t play tricks on people as they will stop believing you. At this point yossarian junior decided to correct me.
“No you can still trick people, you just can’t use the same.trick more than once”
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Background: 4yo has an inclination to put things in his undies, ie matchbox cars, small toys. Is actively discouraged from doing this.
Anyway, he got a new 8wo kitten. CB Jnr “Mum, can I put him in my undies… just once?” Mum: “No”. CB Jnr: “Tricked you, I already did it yesterday”
And same day: “Dad, can I play for the Bombers when I’m tall enough?”
…advantages of living in Qld
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
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not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
Poor parenting. Obviously allowed to watch too much Yanky television. “Bum” or “■■■■” would be acceptable nomenclature.
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
Poor parenting. Obviously allowed to watch too much Yanky television. “Bum” or “■■■■” would be acceptable nomenclature.
Aside from that though, it’s anatomically accurate
My 2 yo refers to his mother as “Me”. ie. “Me” is her name. He’s picked it up from all that time she said to him, come with me, or, would you like me to help you? etc.
When he wakes in the middle of the night we are woken by: “Me, where are you, Me?”
When she goes out he’ll ask: “Where’s Me, Dadda?”
One day I was kicking a ball with him in the park (on a day his mum was at work), I asked him to kick it to me; he looked around for a minute and answered: Me not here Dadda.
After I burbed the other day (again his mum was at work) and saying pardon me, he turns around and says, no, not pardon Me, pardon Dadda.
There are too many examples to list, but it gets even funnier when we started consciously correcting ourselves with our use of pronouns, and it ends up like the Abbott and Costello “Who’s on First” skit.
He’s been doing it for about a year, but still cracks us up.
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
Poor parenting. Obviously allowed to watch too much Yanky television. “Bum” or “■■■■” would be acceptable nomenclature.
Aside from that though, it’s anatomically accurate
Anatomically accurate but how did she Know that
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
Poor parenting. Obviously allowed to watch too much Yanky television. “Bum” or “■■■■” would be acceptable nomenclature.
Aside from that though, it’s anatomically accurate
Oh dear, you’ve got no balls
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
That is one high up ■■■■ you have there, might want to get that checked
not sure my daughters gonna get a job at Hallmark any time soon.
That is one high up ■■■■ you have there, might want to get that checked
Maybe its an upside down Mr squiggle type sketch.