It’s such an antiquated way of communicating. Plain speech is very much back in favour and should be encouraged wherever possible. Would be nice if it started with our footy club, which, to be honest, seems to be getting worse.
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I wish Worsfold would talk to the selection policy more.
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I just have to share my recent experience to get some perspective. I worked as a project consultant last year and boy-o-boy I now know why they get such a bad rap. I recall not really noticing the clichés at the start of my tenure but not too long into the job entire meetings were being spoken in clichés to the point I couldn’t focus on the meeting itself and started recording the w@nkwords being used. The best examples were when w@nkwords were used in sequence so an entire sentence was just clichés. At this point I remember thinking to myself I need to start recording this otherwise people might think i’m making ■■■■ up. You just can’t make this level of cr@p up. So here is just a sample of the cliché’s and w@nkwords I endured while working on a large govt project. oh most came from a fellow consultant from a company with the initials P*C.
line in the sand. as in minimum standard
swim lanes. as in your areas of responsibility
fidelity. as in the report needs more fidelity e.g. detail
give you a heads up. as in to inform you
lens. as in a different perspective
hunting licence. I have no idea, possibly permission to do something
move forward. as in work plan
a lot of legs. as in a issue is gaining momentum
hand on deck. as in everyone is needed to help
eyes wide open. as in be aware
park that thought. as in we’ll come back to that idea
in the tent. as in within the team
line up ducks. as in prepare
open flood gates. as in an issue is gaining attention
put to bed. as in complete
back of napkin. as in draft
minimum viable product. as in the minimum amount of work that needs to be completed by…
brain child. as in idea
opportunity on my radar. as in I think this is an opportunity
I think I’ve now lost all confidence in most people I work. It’s so depressing.
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Email today reminded me to bump this.
“socialise recommendations” or you know, we could just discuss them amongst ourselves?
“thought promoters below” really? options or ideas wasn’t sufficient?
gun emoji, head emoji,
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“Show more resilience”
GAGF it’s off to the Ombudsman we go.
I haven’t got a whinge about language as such, but just an observation on how slow things move in larger organisations.
The project I work on has our little 2.2 employee organisation working with a bunch of much, much larger organisations. Translating wankwords for the benefit of the 1.2 others and the volunteer board goes with the territory, but the best thing by far is having the other project officers I work with be furiously jealous at how quickly I can get things moving because I don’t have layers upon layers of management/consultants/other departments having to put their fingerprints on anything to justify their existence.
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In my mid-20’s I had a girlfriend. An indie-chick who loved the casual life, spontaneity, general looseness and flying by the seat of your pants.
Then she got into project management and, after that, management itself.
Now, she constantly talks in this sort of buisness-wankspeak, has a busted marriage, sees her kids for an hour or two before she puts them to bed and then sits on her laptop till midnight.
I’m sure she’s earns a squillion, but at what price??
How her 25 year-old self would’ve laughed at her…
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So Mrs Wim was at a really big meeting, and everyone’s asked to write down their description of the word ‘agility’ in one word and hand it up.
Later she has to collate all the responses, and some friggin’ legend has written, ‘turtle.’
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How many wrote ‘agility’
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Came back from the Xmas break to find every meeting room with a sticker and foam dice about 10 cm across on each table. The sticker says:
START WITH A MINDSET MOMENT
Kick your meeting off to a positive start.
Use this Delight Dice to reflect on what we’ve learned through The Delight Program and share your experiences with others.
It then give three how-to-play steps.
Not going to bother typing what’s on the dice but it gets worse…
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START BY EATING MY BALLS MATE
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Apparently the Commonwealth Public Service is going to spend a substantial amount teaching senior public servants to use “plain English”.
These courses have been run regularly for decades, since the 1950s in fact. They’re a complete waste of time and money. Every public servant thinks that everything he or she writes is a model of simplicity and clarity. The worst offenders are those who think they write the best. The courses are full of examples of what not to do and the participants all have heaps of fun laughing at the convoluted prose of others.
I happen to know that back in the 70s the Hamer government formed a Plain English Committee composed of suitably qualified non-public servants. As a first exercise they decided to re-write the parking ticket. The form they produced was a metre long. They never met again.
That would take more than a moment.
Straight into the bin.
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Had a 2 1/2 hour meeting with various government agencies today. If I hear “unpack”, “in this space” or “be more cognisant” one more time I think I might go postal.
How the hell “we” are still at the top of the food chain has got me stuffed.
Soft, cliched balls of fluff running around planning “working groups” and not actually achieving anything.
breathe in…breathe out
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I can see a real disconnect here
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I regret that I have but one like to give.
PML.
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pretty sure you’re not on the same page.
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I’m having to uplift a risk control at the moment. It’s utterly meaningless.
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Time to circle the wagons.