30/11/23 Wyrd Training at Tullamarine

Conditions were windy and overcast and training was entirely confined to the main McCracken oval.

Your reporters and spectators were strung out in a sombre conclave in the forward pocket – only men of the middle years and old Baby Boomers, like blowies on a window sill.

No kids kicking footies, no desperate followers decked in Essendon livery.

The affable Mark Purser (Club Chaplain) stood behind the goals, football clutched to his bosom, looking ready to smite any Philistine who opposed Scott’s true spiritual discipline and had worshipped strange gods of gluttony over the break.

Jake Stringer was one who had definitely been saved and looked the slimmest I have seen – rumour being that he had served time in the wilderness of a health farm.

Why have I described it as Wyrd Training?

Well …
weird derives from the old English noun wyrd essentially meaning “fate”.

In Latin the “Fates” were three goddesses who spun, measured and cut the thread of life.

Which brings me to the atmosphere present at training.

The spectators were quiet, the coaches were quiet and the players, new and old, were very quiet.

I must admit that my expectation had been to see them bubbling with enthusiasm, calling loudly for the ball, some banter and chiacking. But No!

It was described it to me like being in a classroom - -this was spot on.

Time and again players would be carefully positioned and a play run. Minimum physicality and the quietness of the players was due to CONCENTRATION.

The play would end, or be stopped and everyone would gather round for a post mortem discussion. This was subsidised by the coach taking individual players aside and explaining things further.

Scott was spinning, measuring and cutting the thread of life – the vital thread that links the players and the coaches to the game plan and beyond.

I don’t like Rutten’s “learnings”, but that is what today’s training was about – the game plan! (or hopefully “plans”.)

Thus, ALL the players were on the one oval, including the large rehab group standing together like a tumour which you hope is benign.

They too were students in theory, if not in practice, of the intensive coaching (we have lots of coaches) which will lead us on paths of glory to the Promised Land in September.

Wyrd session – not bad, but different.

Is there hope? Caddy took a nice mark today.

Perhaps that’s what you should take with you to your bedchamber tonight.


Was kinda hoping that might be someone like Tiffany.


Thanks Jackie. Been a while since we’ve had one of your classic mythologically infused creatively written training reports. Let’s hope the fates lead us to the promised land.


I miss Tiffany…… as does the club




Great post, Jackie, as always. But the Fates were Greek, not Roman (even though the Romans pinched much from Greek culture).

PS Bring back The Tiff!

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I dunno, Its all Greek to me.

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Blitz’s Poet Laureate returns! If the boys play as well as you write the flag’s in the bag.


Something about it gets to the heart of supporting Essendon for the last two decades…

It has been a long, nay, too long between your esteemed reports, a big welcome back, an elegant read. I believe the use of ‘learnings’ to be more a Woosha thing than a Truck Rutten invention. Say hi to Tiff for me. Cheers from Manilla.


Tiffany has been in hibernation…just like the Football Club…time for the giant Bomber to awaken and lead Tiffany back to the Promised Land!


“It was described it to me like being in a classroom - -this was spot on.”

Knowing Jackie as I do, I would assume, he personally is well placed to ascertain whether the environment was “like being in a classroom”! :rofl:


I’ll wait for the movie to come out, because I don’t understand this book.


This is Chat GPT summary of the said report, hope it helps:

The training session described took place in windy and overcast conditions at the main McCracken oval. The atmosphere was somber, with only middle-aged men and old Baby Boomers present as spectators. The Club Chaplain, Mark Purser, stood behind the goals, emphasizing a disciplined and spiritual approach to training. Jake Stringer appeared to have undergone a transformation, rumored to be from time spent at a health farm.

The term “Wyrd Training” is used, drawing from the old English noun “wyrd,” meaning fate. The author compares it to the Latin concept of the Fates, who spun, measured, and cut the thread of life. The training session was characterized by an unusual quietness, with players, coaches, and spectators maintaining concentration similar to a classroom setting. The focus was on the game plan, with players carefully positioned and plays run, followed by post-mortem discussions and individual coaching.

The overall tone suggests a departure from the expected enthusiasm and banter, as players seemed intensely focused on learning and implementing the game plan. The reference to Rutten’s “learnings” indicates a focus on strategy and tactics. Despite the different and subdued atmosphere, there is a note of hope, highlighted by Caddy taking a nice mark during the session. The author leaves the reader with the suggestion to take this positive aspect to bed as a source of optimism for the team’s future.


The AI version leaves me cold, it is soulless, doesn’t have any of the flow of the original.

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Fair enough. I won’t argue with that.

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I had a go with chat gpt. Put a few conditions in which included Stringer being overweight:

Essendon FC Preseason 2023: The Pinnacle of Preparation

The Essendon Football Club’s 2023 preseason was a pinnacle of excellence, setting the stage for a highly competitive season.

Key Highlights:

  1. Fitness Mastery: Rigorous conditioning drills optimized player endurance and agility, minimizing injury risks.
  2. Skills Precision: Intensive skill development sessions refined core abilities, ensuring peak performance.
  3. Tactical Brilliance: Strategic simulations honed game plans, preparing the team for diverse challenges.
  4. Unified Team Spirit: Emphasis on team-building activities fostered camaraderie, strengthening team cohesion.
  5. Injury Prevention: Comprehensive measures reduced injury risks, with a dedicated focus on player health.
  6. Data-Driven Optimization: Individual assessments and data analysis tailored training, maximizing player contributions.

Special Note:
Addressing specific challenges, the coaching staff is implementing a targeted fitness plan for Jake Stringer to address weight concerns. This individualized approach underscores the club’s commitment to the well-being and optimal performance of every player.

The Essendon FC’s 2023 preseason, marked by unparalleled dedication and innovation, positions the club for an extraordinary and successful AFL season. This preseason stands as a testament to the club’s commitment to excellence and sets the bar for future campaigns.


I read this as wyred training & thought weapon was back

Coffee Caffeine GIF - Coffee Caffeine Needcoffee GIFs

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Never change Jackie, you be you!

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Considering that we have seem to have lacked any semblance of a game for a decade, the above report is heavenly.

Thanks for sharing.

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