Time for the traditional introduction of the draftees to the fans.
That’s TrevorBix, the sole member of High Fyfe, and he couldn’t make it back from Taswegia in time (or at least, that’s what he said), so I’m really introducing the draftees to an empty room.
Maybe room is a bit generous. Btw, PM me if you want some photoshopping done.
Pick 11: Mitchell Hibberd (BC, North Melbourne)
Oh wait, not Michael Hibberd? Damn. Not sure why I picked this bloke, think I got confused because of the plethora of B-list draftees available. Norf appear to have deluded themselves into thinking they’re a premiership contender, so I’d be surprised if they played any of their young guys for a while.
Pick 29: Harry Cunningham (FC, Sydney)
Desperately needed a decent scoring forward but instead picked up this absolute hack. Will likely rack them up in the NEAFL against teenagers who are surprised that they’re allowed to pass the ball forward.
It is rumoured that Sydney are already thinking of trading Cunningham to Cobram FC in return for this potato
Pick 47: Nathan Krakouer (B, Port Adelaide)
Read something about how good he’s going to be this season and assumed Barge would snap him up at 55 with his Port Adelaide fetish. But now he’s injured, and even when he’s fit he only averages 50 odd.
Pick 51: James Harmes (F, Melbourne)
Would be the 54th best player at Hawthorn, but he’s probably in the Demons’ top 10 (only slightly joking). Look for him to disappoint in rounds 1-3 and spend the rest of the season languishing in the VFL.
Pick 65: Nick Suban (C, Fremantle)
I’m in an abusive relationship with Suban. Try as I might to get rid of him, he always comes back, and I always let him.
Pick 83: Luke Partington (C, West Coast)
Didn’t really need a speculative pure mid, but Partington could be OK. Like Hibberd, unlikely to get any games until the year two thousand and never.
A generic photo of the distant future, when Partington will play his first AFL game
Pick 101: Josh Walker (F, Brisbane)
He’ll get games because Brisbane are rubbish, but then he’ll probably forget what a football looks like playing at full forward in that team.
Pick 118: Tom Cole (BC, West Coast)
Like the look of this guy - averaged 25 disposals or so in TAC cup, and didn’t disgrace himself in a few outings for Geelong’s VFL side. Obviously you guys all agreed with me which is why you let him get to pick 118.
Pick 121: Sam Day (BF, Gold Coast)
Flexibility with this pick - he can get his season-high 37 points in the backline as well as the forward line.
Pick 167: Taylor Garner (F, North Melbourne)
This guy plays like a young Nat Fyfe, according to good judges. Well, judges anyway. OK then, North fans. Idiots, in other words.
The only comparisons that should be made of Taylor Garner and Nat Fyfe is ‘Taylor Garner will never be as good as Nat Fyfe’
Pick 183: Reilly O’Brien (R, Adelaide)
Would have picked a ruck earlier but they were all completely rubbish so got stuck with this guy. Probably won’t play a game, but at least he’s not the worst player ever to be on a BBFFL#2 list (that’s Matthew Watson, who wezza drafted last year, just in case you needed a reminder wez).
Looking forward to fluking a few wins over the rest of you, and losing to everyone else as normal.