They lost?! Bahahaha
The melts on bigfooty lol
It was supposed to be blues membership day today on SEN, but they have cancelled it. Kingy said maybe they can hand their membership in today ha ha ha ha
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Hahaha, thatâs fantastic
What a time to be alive!
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And Carlshit were up by 41 pts too
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Last nightâs result couldnât have happened to a more deserving team! I tuned in late only to hear BT (or some other idiot?) say that the Tigers âwanted it moreâ. Clearly, the Blues thought theyâd won it and it wasnât worth the effort until it was too late.
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Good morning
The sun is up and the birds are singing FARK CARLTON
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This legit looks like an bomber blitz GameDay thread.
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Those arrogant â â â â â would have planned that to line up with an expected thumping.
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Must be something wrong with me!!! I had more joy watching Carltank fark it up last night than any Essendon win. (Excluding GFs of course). I almost donât care what happens tonight!!!
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Thereâs something very comforting about FCFC losing to Richmond in round 1.
It just feels right.
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their inside 50s were terrible. their forward line sucks without curnow and harry was having a poor game. they went to water when the presure was on. blues fans will be shattered.
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turns out the Fark Carlton series still had a bonus article - the gift that keeps on giving
Blues Fans Cry Stitch Up
by Joke Nile
I expected it would hit a nerve. 30 flag-less years will do that. But I was genuinely surprised by the aggrievedness of the responses towards my Fark Carlton series. Many Fark Carltonites displayed the resilience of an Orazio Fantasia hamstring.
Cries of stitch up, bull#### and poor taste peppered my in box and the TalkingFarkCarlton footy forum. The irony of the latter with its blue on blue colour scheme was clearly missed by the posters.
While it would have been easy to just ignore the noise, this Masthead had a journalistic and, more so, a pecuniary obligation to extend the series. Fate took a turn as it happened when reception calls to tell me I had three âvisitorsâ in the foyer. They were insistent on talking to me about my Fark Carlton hatchet job.
Not one to look a gift horse or three in the mouth I decided to hear them out.
The Monies Man - GB
GB told me they were a former contracts and financial consultant to Fark Carlton during the salary breach period.
As an insider GB wanted to set the record straight. GB (not their real initials) spoke to this Masthead on the condition of anonymity to protect their safety and career prospects.
The salary cap breach was THE big issue underpinning Fark Carltonâs prolonged struggles. It even has its own Wikipedia entry. But according to GB the entire universe, and beyond, have it all wrong.
âI donât understand why this myth continues. There were no overpayments. I was there. I was the one directly responsible for organising and administering the salary payments.
We had a transparent system: 45% of the contract was paid in the first year, and the remaining 65% was paid over the remaining years.
It was that simple and yet the AFL with their fancy accountants spun out a narrative of dodgy numbers.
Seriously, do the maths.â
While at face value GBâs claims appear valid, this Masthead has engaged independent financial experts to verify their veracity. Unfortunately, the report was unavailable at the time of publication.
When pressed to provide evidence such as spreadsheets to back up these claims, GB said they didnât exist.
âYou need to understand this was a time when spreadsheets were still a nascent technology. Even by 2011, 2012 spreadsheets remained out of reach for many, especially football clubs.â
The Locker Room Guy - BY
BY, also an alias to protect their identity and allow them to speak on the condition of anonymity to this Masthead.
BY boasted they were in the inner sanctum of the playing side of things. Transpired he was a one of those volunteers who hanged around the club happy to do whatever to help: hand out towels, pick up flung pizza boxes or handle small package deliveries for the players. He had seen it all over the last 50 years and felt the articles misconstrued the culture of Fark Carlton badly.
âWhat those articles failed to convey was the humility of the people at Fark Carlton. Labelling us hubris was laughable. Fark Carlton people wouldnât lower themselves to that level.â
The Fan - Gino Spaccamatone
Unlike his companions, Gino had no issues being identified. Rather he embraced the opportunity to publicise his association with Fark Carlton. He did it with a passion that was as deep rooted as the hair on his shoulders.
As Gino told it, Fark Carlton are hated because they are the best. And my articles were all part of a conspiracy to undermine the club. The picture he detailed over the next 3 hours was one of secret plots and conspiracies at the highest levels of the AFL, society, government and Mastheads.
As Gino explained it:
âWe have been targeted and set up by a worldwide secret organisation. Malthouse and Pagan were AFL stooges planted to ruin us. We didnât make bad decisions. They were made for us. Itâs not in our DNA to err.
You only had to see what happened with the illegal distribution to foreign supporters of the Charlie Curnow bobbleheads to realise how deep the corruption is. It cost us a match. But no one wants to listen or admit the truth. Only the true Fark Carlton supporters understand the truth.â
But as Gino saw it, the past is the past. And the future was bright.
Our meeting concluded with Gino confidently declaring:
âFark Carlton are back baby and their march to glory starts Round 1.â
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Reading this thread while waiting for an appointment . First time Iâve ever enjoyed my time in the dentist waiting room.
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This post is going straight to the Classic Posts thread, where it belongs. It has been a long time between drinks for that thread, but this post is right up there with your best ever work BD. Well done sir, l salute you.
Edit: Done!
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