Mick McGuane tells a story at sportsmen's nights of how he and Tony Woods were going to pretend to rob James Manson to give him a scare.
They waited at the house Manson shared with one of the other Collingwood players, and put on motor bike helmets and leather gear and picked up a knife and a baseball bat.
As Manson came in to his bedroom they were going to yell and threaten him, and generally give him a bit of a fright.
Problem was, Manson wasn't alone.
He'd picked up some Collingwood groupie for the night and was taking her back to his place.
McGuane was already in the bedroom, and Woods who was keeping lookout ran in to tell him Manson had picked up.
By the time one could hear the other through the motor bike helmets Manson had the key in the lock, opened the door and gone straight to the bedroom.
So now there's two Collingwood footballers trying to find a place to hide, and another Collingwood footballer and a slag trying to find a bed.
Manson had a standing cupboard which had no top to it, so the two of them stood in the cupboard, with the heads sticking out, making it look like the motor bike helmets were on the top of the cupboard. Only problem is, to avoid falling out of the cupboard they have to hang on to each other.
Manson and the Collingwood groupie get the business under way.
Clothes come off, Positions are changed, first this way, then that way. now you roll over, that sort of thing.
This ended up taking more than the length of time McGuane was accustomed to this sort of activity taking.
All the while two blokes are in the cupboard in leather gear with motor bike helmets on, watching every move, holding each other from falling out of the cupboard.
Mick starts getting worried that this is all going less well than he had planned. Worse, he starts remembering that Tony Woods plays piano and dances. Woodsy is in his first year at the club and no-one really knows him all that well. Is Woodsy enjoying this? Getting all sweaty hanging on to a bloke dressed in leather watching someone else on the job. He might be.
Eventually McGuane has had enough.
He falls out of the cupboard, rips the helmet off and throws it on the ground.
"For farks sake Charlie finish the farking job will you?"
Manson and the strumpet are taken by surprise. "Mick, what the fark are you doing here?" He asks, both of them covering up.
"You ruined a perfect farking practical joke" Mick explains.
Then Tony Woods falls out of the cupboard as well.
"Jeebus, how many of you are there in the cupboard?" asks Charlie
At the point the girl figures this is something Collingwood players do (she may be right).
"You pervert", she accuses Manson, "you're getting all your mates to watch us".
At this point, finding her clothes strewn across the floor, in the moonlit room, she takes her leave.
"Hang on" says Charlie "I didn't know they were in the cupboard"
"Oh Bulltish" says the creature, "this happened the last time I rooted one of you Collingwood blokes" and leaves.
To this day, after much investigation no-one has found out who the other Collingwood player might be.