Novel ways to choose our next coach (comedy version)

Pass the Parcel.

Or Pin the Tail on the Dodo.

1 Like

For you, use the following metrics, without limiting the field

  • anyone born in a month with an R in it,
  • born in a year ending in 3,
  • ineligible to play for Victoria in State of Origin
  • surname maximum of 4 letters, starting with H.
  • 4 children
  • premiership player
  • Brownlow medallist
  • Norm Smith medalist

Objective and balanced metrics, gender neutral, guaranteed quality field of candidates

5 Likes

live-dealer-roulette_wheel_free_spin

5 Likes

Round 1
All prospective candidates submit a Best 22.
The three closest to Ivan’s proceeds to Round 2.

Round 2
The three candidates are submitted to a seven hour interview with Nino. Those who survive proceed to Round 3. If no-one survives Nino is named Coach.

Round 3
If candidate(s) proceed from Round 2 they must enter the DJ thread and receive two rounds of 7 yes’s. If no-one passes this Round the position is re-advertised.

If a candidate(s) still wants the job they proceed to Round 4.

Round 4
In 25 words or less explain why you should be coach. Grammar, spelling and punctation checked by Noonan and Shelton, who select the two most literate.

Round 5
The two remaining candidates must display coaching credentials at a forum footy match. Winner takes all.

11 Likes

Drop them in the desert with 2lt of water and a chicken whoever makes it back to tulla first gets the gig.

1 Like

They are each given a baby to coach for one hour. Then the babies race.

3 Likes

I wouldn’t trust this process unless we have the slow cooking of meats, as judged by WOB.

1 Like

Watch as the AFL screw us by changing the rules again.

1 Like

Finally, an exhaustive process.

Make No.10 the Director of Football !

The Wheel has spoken…

6 Likes

I modelled it on the NSW selection of candidates for the NY trade and investment Commissioner

2 Likes

I agree up to this point of the process, but then the panel gives the board a short list of their two best candidates.

… then chooses what they consider the best.

Then based on all their other dumb decisions over the last 20 years, the panel chucks that choice out and tells them to hire the other candidate.

1 Like

I realise this is the comedy selection thread, but that is blatantly ridiculous. Hunger games I can see the club going for, but not your proposal.

Tell all the candidates to turn on and off their laptops… the fastest wins!!!

It should all come down to a power point presentation by the candidates, and which of them is most bullish about our current list… worked great last time.

1 Like

Battle Royale Flash Mob

Wipeout challenge

You can’t have a Novel way unless there is a Wuhan Lab somehow involved!

1 Like

Nina Hartley flown over to adjudge who’s the most well hung?