What vegetable is good for memory? Cucumber. My uncle stuck one up my arse when I was six and I have never forgotten.
****debated whether I should put this into the current or cucumber thread - decided to stick it here….
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Not the only place it was stuck apparently.
Lady walks into the dry cleaners with her favourite skirt.
“Can you get this stain out please?”
“Come again?” Asks the cleaner."
“No, it’s mayonnaise from a chicken burger this time”
Merry Christmas to you all!!!
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Is that a Brittany Higgins joke?
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Monica Lewinsky, I thought.
What’s funnier, rape or grooming?
Depends on the context.
For example, I groom my dog, but not the other!
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Yeah, I might have been too subtle.
I don’t think either is funny.
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But Big Bad Barry and his family are the Halls.
It takes 1 to change it and 1 to remind you that it takes 1 to change it
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Delete
Researchers for the Ministry of Transport found over 200 dead crows near Greater Manchester recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the
problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.
The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts. However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird’s beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with lorries, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car or motorcycle.
Ministry of Transport then hired an Ornithological behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist very quickly concluded the cause:
When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Lorry.”
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