Sign in a window in Hobart
If you suck at blowing the trumpet, that’s probably why.
BT isn’t going to heaven surely.
I thought it was Trump flunky Mr MyPillow.
Eddie McGuire flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play aussie rules and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Collingwood.
He’s signed to a one-year contract and the kid joins the team for the pre-season.
Two weeks later the magpies are down by 6 goals to Carlton with only 10 minutes left The coach gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation - kicks 7 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the magpies!
The fans are thrilled, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media are in love with the new star.
When the player comes off the ground he phones his mum to tell her about his first day of AFL.
‘Hello mum, guess what?’ he says. 'I played for 10 minutes today, we were 6 goals down, but I kicked 7 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media…
‘Wonderful,’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.’
The young Iraqi is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, I’m so sorry.’
‘Sorry? You’re sorry?’ says his mum, ‘It’s your fault we moved to Collingwood in the first place!’
I remember this joke when Ranald McDonald was president.
Who looked like the hamburglar
I remember a variation of it. The family is in a war zone, maybe Lebanon, and at the end they offer the kid sympathy for the worse fate, having to play for Collingwood.
From The Coodabeen Champions this morning …
Q: What did one Port Adelaide supporter say to the other Port Adelaide supporter at half-time in the Preliminary Final?
A: Let’s stay until the end of the game so we can beat the traffic.
3 day lockdown so there might be some oldies coming out.
Polar bear cub “Dad, am I a polar bear?”
Dad " of course you are son"
“A real polar bear?”
“Yes, kiddo, top of the food chain, dinky di polar bear”
" Honest dad?"
“Yes boy, a majestic, mighty creature that rules all you can see. Why the questions son?”
" cos I’m farkin freezing!!"
Thats very good in an evil way.
Yes, it’s very dark. I thought about it for a while before deciding to post it.
That reminds me of a name joke l wrote.
Q: What do you call a man hanging on the wall?
A: Art.
or in Germany…Kunst.
A stranger walks into a pub and sits down next to one of the regulars. After ordering a beer, he says to the regular “Want to see something interesting?”. He pulls out a small piano and places it on the bar. “Does it work?” he asks the regular. “Have a look at this” says the stranger, and pulls a tiny man out of one pocket. He places the tiny man on the bar, and he sits at the small piano and begins to play it. “That’s amazing!” says the regular, “Where did you find them?” “Well”, says the stranger, “I found this lamp” he says, pulling a lamp out of the other pocket and passing it to the regular, “When I rubbed it, a genie appeared, and granted me one wish”. “Can I try?” says the regular. “Sure” says the stranger, and hands over the lamp. The regular rubs the lamp, and sure enough, a genie appears and grants him one wish. “I want a million bucks!” says the regular excitedly. All of a sudden, the bar is filled with ducks. There are ducks everywhere. They fill every space in the entire pub. The regular turns to the stranger and says “This is ridiculous, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!”. The stranger looks at him and says “What do you think I asked for? A 10 inch pianist?”
Do you hear the one about the girl who kept wondering about 3.14159265359?
Pi curious