Season 2025 - Fark Carlton

Carlton

Coach: Michael Voss

2024–

Points For – 4th
Points Against – 14th

Top 5 Best and Fairest

1 – Patrick Cripps
2 – Nic Newman
3 – Sam Walsh
4 – Jacob Weitering
5 – George Hewett

2024 Rising Star Noms

Nil

Ins – Ben Camporeale, Lucas Camporeale, Harry Charleson, Nick Haynes, Harry O’Farrell, Jagga Smith

Outs – Domainic Akuei, Jack Caroll, Matt Caroll, David Cunningham, Sam Durdin, Matt Kennedy, Caleb Marchbank, Jack Martin, Alex Mirkov, Matt Owies

My Prediction

Honestly my main fear in the world is that Carlton get there crap together before we do and win a premiership. Thankfully it hasn’t happened yet and I could live off little more than the misery of their fan base. I would choose it over food, water and whatever else I need to sustain life. Their tears are all I need.

The backline was trash last year, they talk up Weitering but he isn’t enough. Picking up a declining Nick Haynes also isn’t the answer. Losing Nic Newman for the season (insert “that’s a shame” gif) certainly hurts. I think they will look at bringing Docherty back to half back in his place but he has squeezed almost everything possible out of himself already. Scattergun Saad on the other half back flank will give them run and … well actually that is what he brings. McGovern was alright last year which means he wont perform for another 2 – 3 years.

The midfield is very strong at the top. According to the maggots, Cripps had the greatest season ever played by a footballer in the history of the game. Sam Walsh started to find his feet and get back to his accumulating best although if he ever becomes damaging by foot then he could be anything. Cerra just got the long term contract and is class, after that it is Acres and Hewett. I think Jagga Smith will get a lot of time next year but they don’t bat real deep and need a run with injuries.

The forward line is going to be interesting. At a time when small forwards have become very fashionable and necessary, they don’t have a lot in that space. Letting Owies and Martin go leave them pretty much at Motlop or bust (bust is Zac Williams). The tall marking forwards are the best one-two punch in the competition with Curnow and McKay. Hollands and Fogarty are the medium sized plodders that every team needs. It is a very good forward line but there are certainly concerns.

De Koning is a good ruck who is still finding his feet but played some very good games last year. He also keeps Pittonet out of the team which can only be a good thing for the Blues. The coach will feel the pinch again if things don’t go well this year. They were coming for him before they got on a roll last year.

Injuries destroyed their momentum last year and it was glorious. Their fans were getting ahead of themselves and that made it even better. There is enough quality in their list for them to make a deep run but there is also a shortage of depth in their list that will be challenged if they have injuries. I don’t think they are in the first line of premiership favouritism but they should challenge for top four. I think 4-6 is their pass mark

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Die in a hole you ■■■■■

Enough said

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■■■■ Carlton

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9 posts were merged into an existing topic: Fark carlton continues (Part 3)

They have genuine class in important positions, but as stated in the OP, lack depth. DeKoning is growing leaps and bounds in his role, Curnow is a beast when he gets rolling which is just as well as Harry McKay needs him to draw the #1 defender so that he can then shine. Their small forwards OTOH are inadequate. The defence is the weakspot, and losing Newman for the season is going to expose them more and more. Much rests on the shoulders of Cripps once more, as Walsh is going to have an interrupted preseason. Cera gives them both good support, they need it!

Lower rungs of the 8 sounds about right to me.

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With the backline depth being a problem and losing Newman they should just go bang and offer a guy like Baldwin/hoare the spot

top 6…sadly

An excellent midfield can negate whatever weaknesses a list has. This is the case with Fark Carlton.

Top 6 and a finals win, won’t be surprised with top 4 or missing out altogether.

Prob premiers unfortunately

■■■■ Carlton

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Top 6 or Voss will get sacked I’d have thought. They have the cattle.

Fark Carlton

I just want FanCams to be fun again.

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Just to “Fark Carlton”, Rhett Bartlett (through Rohan Connelly) has uploaded online the entire Round 20 1981 match between the Mighty Bombers and Fark carlton.

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Ideally I’d like Carlton to start the season well getting their fans hopes up then die in the arse and miss finals by a point

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I would rather they lose every game by a point

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youre so banned

Fox footy best 23

B: A.Saad, J.Weitering, N.Newman

HB: N.Haynes, M.McGovern, S.Docherty

C: B.Acres, P.Cripps, O.Hollands

HF: E.Hollands, H.McKay, M.Cottrell

F: Z.Williams, C.Curnow, L.Fogarty

FOLL: T.De Koning, G.Hewett S.Walsh

I/C: A.Cerra, L. Cowan, B.Kemp, J.Smith, L.Young

EMG: J. Boyd, J. Silvagni, J. Motlop

Need to scratch Nic Newman from that side now.

Fox are tipping Jagga Smith straight in will be interesting to follow how he goes being a high draft pick.

I would be squeezing Motlop or fantasia in there to add some X factor as well.
Defence looks a lot better with Haynes there, even if he’s a veteran they need him on the park as much as possible.

Tall forwards are decent.

I think a lot of their performance will likely rely on Cripps and Curnow playing well again.
Can they both be AA and Brownlow contenders.

also De Koning in the ruck made inroads last year if he can stay healthy will help them finish high.

They could finish 1-10th such is their on off form. Even if they were minor premier think would fluff the grand final.

Fanta’s X-factor is how long his shoelace hamstrings take to go.

Fark Carlton!

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Hasn’t he retired yet?