Season 2026 - Fark Carlton

Football Discussion Non Essendon Stuff
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Carlton

Coach: Michael Voss

2025–

Points For – 14th
Points Against – 10th

Top 5 Best and Fairest

1 – George Hewett
2 – Jacob Weitering
3 – Adam Cerra
4 – Nick Haynes
5 – Patrick Cripps

2025 Rising Star Noms

Cooper Lord (Rnd 10)
Ashton Moir (Rnd 19)
Matt Carroll (Rnd 24)

Ins – Ben Ainsworth, Taylor Byrne, Campbell Chesser, Harry Dean, Ollie Florent, Will Hayward, Jack Ison, Liam Reidy

Outs – Charlie Curnow, TDK, Jack Silvagni, Ollie Hollands, Alex Cincotta, Jaxon Binns, Sam Docherty, Corey Durdin, Oraaaazio Fantasia, Will White

My Prediction

I am not sure I have ever been happier about being wrong. I thought this mob were a top 4 chance last year. There are very few teams that can match Essendon when it comes to mismanagement but Carlton would be right up there. They had the list to be a problem in the finals but just never got rolling.

The backline on paper looked sort of ok. I mean they have Weitering who despite threatening to derail his career, they have never managed to do it. Haynes was at times surprisingly effective last season but I don’t expect him to get better. Newman and Saad give them run, Newman can kick as well, Saad can kick but not always accurately. All in all it is a pretty average backline. They will miss Docherty off half back.

The midfield looks good on paper, Cripps is still a beast even if not as effective a beast as he was a few years ago. Hewett has been a very good pick up. Walsh is due another injury but if it doesn’t happen then he is very good. Throw in Hollands and Cerra and things look good. Jagga should be back early in the season as well and he unfortunately looks a super talented kid.

The forward line looks both better and worse than last year. Losing Curnow hurts but Florent and Hayward give them new avenues to goal. They just have to hope McKay keeps healthy both mentally and physically as they will need him to have a very good year. They have lost Motlop for the season and although a bit of a whipping boy, was also one of the few small forwards with pace. Still looks pretty average and with McKay getting the best defender every week, I don’t see them improving.

The rucks aren’t great. They lost TDK which I don’t think is the worst but that leaves them reliant on Pittonet and he has a significant amount of potato like qualities. The coach is also a spud, there is no reason at this point to believe he is any good. I am not sure he has ever had a team perform above expectations.

I don’t want to write them off entirely as they have some serious talent at the top end and if all of that talent stayed fit then they could give finals a shake but realistically they lost more talent than they brought in this season and in all likelihood they are going to have a little slide down the ladder. I think 11th-14th.

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Bunch of ■■■■■.

Get ■■■■■■

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There’s an incredible number of parallels between these gutter-dwellers and us, as much as it pains us to admit it.
Them being as useless as us is the only thing which has marginally eased the pain of the past 25 years.

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At least out club is in the process of rebuilding we have a future to look forward to

These kents have nothing but an ageing Cripps carrying them

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I agree that they have had a net talent loss. With other teams improving, they will go backwards. Voss the loss, lacks clues as a coach.

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May they rot.

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■■■■ them.

I hope they finish last in 2027 and miss out on talent due to Tassie.

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There is some great training footage of Fark Carlton doing the rounds. Looks like a bush footy team training

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They have a strong team on paper. Still plenty of top end talent, especially in their midfield.

Despite losing Charlie and TDK, they’ve bought in experience and would want to improve on their result last year.

Voss will be under huge pressure to at least mount a challenge to the 8.

At their best, I think top 6 is possible.

My personal opinion is that they’ve massively under achieved with their list and they’re approaching the last chance saloon with Cripps at his peak.

They’re a watch this year for sure.

Fark them.

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Voss to be gone by round 6 is my bet.

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Fark Carlton 2026

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Fark Carlton are the Bonnie Blues of the AFL

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There’s some footage going around on X of Carlton training and it’s absolute bush league stuff.

I could watch it all day on repeat.

https://x.com/beartorius/status/2015967392258785509

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I really don’t see how losing Curnow, TDK and Silvagni and gaining Ainsworth, Florent and Hayward delivers improvement for Vossy

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Hopefully it’s enough to #savevossey for another year. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Fark…carlton

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Had to scroll down a loooonngg way for some fark Carlton. Was starting to worry

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Blitz is ahead of the media cycle…

Cornes just following.

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Bottom 5.

Delusional club filled with the worst supporters in the worls.

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I think VOSSY has them tracking beautifully. That training video reinforces my view.

By mid year he needs a 5 year extension.

Probably will end up in 9-10 on the ladder for mine, and gradually slide down a few spots over the next few years.

farkcarlton.

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I think FC are cooked, as are the pies.
Too much to ask for hawks to fall as well.
But that would be glorious…

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