Well… obviously today I feel… different.
I’m not really sure what yet, but I certainly wasn’t expecting the entire thing to flip upside down THAT quickly.
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It’s a very difficult world to live in at the moment, no doubt about that. I feel where you are coming from, Ive grew up in a family where there was a very even spread of right and left winged views. On both sides of my family, but up until recently they have been able to largely put politics aside except for maybe election time. Also they say you can count your best friends on one hand, I defiantly have 4. 2 guys I grew up with and went to school with and my 2 best mates from young to current adulthood. I love them all and would not trade their friendships for anything, but both those pockets sit diametrically opposed to one another politically at the moment, I have 2 chat groups that I frequent with both and they are constantly belittling the other side of their particular belief system. I feel like Sweden in all of it to be honest. Same with my family, decades of civility is starting to come undone at the seams because everyone suddenly feels the need to pick a side and relentlessly attack the other, never for a moment considering why the other side might feel that way. When you don’t. you really don’t. Culturally the US is a bit different to Australia and you guys are much closer to an election than we are but I think I can offer you some advice as to how I handle it.
You have to find balance of belief. One thing I can say from my experience is neither side of politics has all the answer, and the person who most vehemently defends their side without being pragmatic probably has the least. But at the end of the day, in most cases you’re probably not going to change the minds of most people you meet. Largely, because I think its nearly impossible to change the mind on someones world view unless they have gone through similar experiences to you. Everyone is completely entitled to see the world through that prism. Our experiences are what shape us.
At the end of the day, you’re probably not going to be able to control what other people do, think, or vote. So it’s wasted energy to worry about it, and you need your energy for yourself right now. The world could get worse from here, or it might not, again you can’t control the outer world. What you can control is how you manage your own experience. You do what you have to do, to make yours as palatable as possible and the worry will start to fall away.
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Hey all. A psychologist mate of mine has just launched a new podcast. Each week he interviews an elite sports personality (well it has been so far) including Bianca Chatfield, Brent Macaffer and next week it’s Greg Chappell. If this sounds like it might interest you it’s called A Dive Into The Mind. You get it from podcasty places.
I’ve only listened to the first one so far and he sounds a little nervous but I enjoyed it. And being one of his mates I’m a harsh critic. Anyway, if you do give it a go I’m happy to pass on any feedback.
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Often wonder how the o/s students in my course have gone this past year.
The ones I speak to seem on top of things (they all live with other students as far as I can tell which helps). More worried about the ones I don’t speak too.
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I’ll give it a go, and see what it’s like.
ironically i’ve been tossing up whether to start a thread on here about psychology and that area so people can post interesting studies/podcasts/articles etc across all areas of it, or considering this thread and how many have posted in it, ways in which people have found help with their mental illness.
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Have any blitZers tried psychotherapy? Particularly around ptsd. (Or similar).
I’m trying to clear up some thought patterns which still haunt me a little bit coming out of an abusive long term relationship a few years ago.
Mainly in dreams, at night or the odd day dream. Also help me move forward on a few trust/commitment issues.
A mate of mine with ptsd (law enforcement officer) got good results with psychologist who specialised in cognitive behavioural techniques. It took awhile but he had become a difficult person to be around and after a number of sessions we could all see improvements especially in his anger management. He said the hardest part for him was learning to trust the psych. After that, he really worked at it and got results.
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Ok @dmorg1. Nearly 2 years later but I’m finally half way through your first book. And wow. I’m not great with words but what a ridiculously tough way to go in to adulthood. 12 months of hell in Vietnam. Nerves on edge everyday. I tried to think of the worst day I had around the same age for some sort of comparison (Let’s face it, nothing I went through could compare to that but I tried to find the thing that had the most impact on myself mentally). When I was a 1st year apprentice electrician my co-worker got hooked up on some live terminals in a switchboard for about 10 seconds. I can still remember his screams and the smell of his burnt flesh quite vividly. His hands were cooked. But he survived thankfully. I got in my car to go home and my brain was in a trance. The first intersection that I came to I nearly ran over someone on their bike. I wasn’t watching at all. When I got home I just sat down and burst into tears. I didn’t want to be a sparky anymore. Thankfully my co-workers were all over this and I got eased back into it over the next few weeks with some easier jobs.
That was one incident. One! I can’t begin to imagine how I’d be if I had to face what you did. I’d be a wreck that’s for sure.
It’s painful to know that you’ve endured this but it’s a fascinating read nonetheless.
I also encourage any other Blitzers to give it a read if you get an opportunity.
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yep finding a good psych in that field is the key.
have a friend who’s partner was apart of a DV situation, years of abuse. anyway when she finally got out of it, and finally got away had a nervous break down.
ended up doing an intensive 6 week cognitive behavioural therapy and has never looked back
like anything though, got to go into it with the right mindset. if you think it’s not going to work it’ll be harder, same as going to far the other way and thinking it’ll fix every aspect.
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Son has PTSD from his ADF time in Afghanistan. Undergoes Cognitive Behavior Therapy which has consistently been found to be the most effective treatment of PTSD both in the short term and the long term.
You may also benefit from brainspotting . It is a therapy that has also given good results for PTSD.
Mrs Fox is a pyschotherapist, and if you want a contact for a good practioner close to you, let me know your local area and I will ask her.
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Hi Klawdy,
Thanks for your feedback on one of my two books published a few years back. Which one was it, My Vietnam War or Ice Journey? You are the first Blitzer to acknowledge my published books on here. I get a lot of feedback through my publisher around Australia and overseas. I met a veteran on a PTSD rehab programs-Sleep Therapy Research study last year that experienced the same as you who saw a member of his unit electrocuted while overseas service. He was suffering from bad nightmares. On this program there were three of us, all veterans suffering from lack of sleep and severe nightmares. They introduced us to IRT- Imagery Rehearsal Therapy where they focused on changing our nightmares to happy dreams. It went for nine weeks, one day a week. It was very difficult for me as my nightmare happened in Vietnam when I was asleep in my pit hole at a small Fire Support Base when a mortar shell came on top of my pit hole and buried me. Somehow I constructed a new dream and I have found my nightmares have dropped of considerably.
In 2019 I attended Trauma Recovery Program for six months- three days a week with 4 veterans and with two police officers.
On this program, we were introduced to CBT – Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and learnt helpful strategies to cope with PTSD. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy assists in identifying and challenging unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and to learn practical self-help strategies. These strategies are designed to bring positive changes. The program covered topics such as anxiety, depression, anger, addiction, sleep disorders and the impact it has on people with PTSD. The main aim of the program was to learn strategies to help you to relax when anxious, to confront your trauma memories so your thoughts and images of the trauma event are not so distressing and to learn ways to stop avoiding activities or places.
Every morning we had a therapy session where we sat around in a group facing our clinical team of psychiatrists and each one of us had to give a brief talk on how we were going, our feelings and our current SUDS.
SUDS - Subjective Units of Distress Scale is a scale for measuring your distress, fear, anxiety or discomfort on a scale of zero to ten.
I was also receiving weekly individual Imaginal Exposure therapy sessions with my psychiatrist, where I would sit comfortably in a chair and close my eyes and describe my trauma memory of the pit hole incident in Vietnam. Here I would describe in present tense what I saw, heard, smelt, tasted and touched when my pit hole collapsed on top of me from an enemy mortar shell.
At first my SUDS rating was at the highest scale of Ten when describing the vivid memory of my trauma, but after a month my SUDS dropped to around Four with moderate anxiety and distress.
After a month of Imaginal Exposure therapy my SUDS dropped, and I had reduced my anxiety when reliving my trauma in the exposure sessions. I then began the next stage guided by my psychiatrist, in doing In-Vivo Exposure where I was exposed to my biggest fear of confined spaces such as getting into a lift elevator. The goal of In-Vivo Exposure for me was to learn how to cope with and overcome my extreme fear of confined spaces and to act in a non-phobic way.
The first exposure, getting into the main hospital lift elevator did not go down too well. I only lasted a couple seconds in the crowded lift when I had a major panic-attack and flash-back where I felt the whole lift was collapsing around me. I could not breathe, and felt I was choking in my pit hole again and became totally disorientated and confused where I was.
I cannot recall what happened after I got out of the elevator.
For the next six weeks I took small steps towards my graded exposure goal of getting into a lift and staying there for at least ten minutes. While I had some minor panic attacks, I finally accomplished this goal in the last week of the program.
All seven of us on the program had similar avoidant behaviour issues like:- avoiding distressing memories or thoughts; avoiding distressing feelings, including bodily sensations; avoiding people; avoiding places; avoiding conversations that arouse distressing memories; avoiding activities; avoiding objects; avoiding situations.
During the twelve-week program, the seven of us were taken to locations to confront our individual avoidant behaviours.
After completing the program I was admitted to the Sunshine Coast University Hospital in early with a suspected stroke. My left eye completely closed due to the stress and lack of sleep. But it was not a stroke, it was a severe nerve reaction caused by fatigue and stress from Trauma program. I was referred to an Eye Specialist. The condition can be treated by toxin injections (Botox) or surgery involving the removal of eyelid muscles. My eye is still closed as I have not decided what to do yet.
It has been fifty one years since my Vietnam service. With PTSD there are no cures, only management.
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I’m reading your Vietnam war book. I’ll read the Antarctic one when that’s done. I’m sorry that it’s taken so long to get around to it.
I’m glad that you’re still trying new therapies to help you deal with the PTSD. But man, they sound intense. And after all of these years to still have such vivid recollection of everything that you’ve been through just goes to show the long lasting impact that these experiences etch into your brain. Hopefully you can get your eye all sorted out too.
I’m not sure if you’ve got plans to get to Melbourne in the near future, and I’m not sure if it’d be something you’d be interested in but I’d love to take you to a game (I’m optimistic we’ll be back attending this year).
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I’ve always wanted to know. What people with war time ptsd think the bombers air raid siren at home games?
I think many are saved at the inability for most to crank it at the right clip. But seems a disaster waiting to happen.
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Harrowing. Thank you for being so open. I’m truly not sure I could get through your book.
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Thanks Klawdy. Yes I would love to catch up sometime but unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to attend a football match as one of my symptoms with PTSD, I avoid crowds. With large crowds It
causes me anxiety, panic attacks and flash backs. I will let you know when I am in Melbourne next. Can meet up at a quiet cafe and chat football.
Enjoy the books
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No worries mate. A lot of people are not into war stories and I don’t blame them.
I mainly read Sports books and Bomberblitz.
Is it normal for an ex to tell you about their attempts at online dating, especially when you still live with your ex and you have 5 kids together.
I mean at no time have I ever indicated that I have any interest in her online dating, which she has only really just started engaging in the last couple of weeks, but some reason I’m being told about it.
Anyway, the ■■■■ hit the fan tonight. She told me the other day about some guy she’s interested in and how he told her they couldn’t do anything at his place because he rents a room from a 55-year-old woman and it would be disrespectful to her. She told me that that she had replied that nothing could happen at her place given the fact she lives with her ex and 5 kids.
I get home from work today and get asked if I’m taking all the kids to the pool on Sunday when I take two of them to their swimming lessons. About half the time our 12-year-old doesn’t want to go so just stays at home with Mum. I get asked if I can take her too on Sunday. So I know something is up. She tells me that she wants this guy to come over on Sunday and essentially she wants me to get all the kids out of the house so she can ■■■■ this rando she barely knows.
You ■■■■■■■ what.What happened to 48 hours ago when nothing could happen at your place, how is it disrespectful to do anything at his place, but it okay to expect you ex to be okay with this. What about the child safety issues, you want to invite some random guy you barely know to your house, where your kids live? I mean she cancelled a date with another guy earlier in the week because he kept insisting on picking her up and she found that to be alarming.
When the topic first came up, it wasn’t really framed as a question or whether I was okay with this? It was framed as this is why you need to take all of the kids to the pool.
She eventually said that it was okay for me to say no if I wasn’t comfortable with it. Which I wasn’t, so I said no, which she is now ■■■■■■ off about.
She knows I’m a ■■■■■■■ people pleaser and she was banking on that to get me to go along with this when she knew all along I would not be comfortable with it. She had told me previously that she would not be comfortable if roles were reversed.
It is messing with my head, because I am a people pleaser and now I feel bad because I said no. But I also don’t know why she is so intent on telling me about her attempts at online dating. I have no idea why she actually asked me about this. She could have come up with any bullshit reason why i had to take our eldest to the pool with me and she could’ve done whatever the ■■■■ she wanted without me knowing, I would’ve been out of the house for at least 4 hours.
I imagine she felt she was been respectful by 'asking’if it was okay but I still fell disrespected and that she was trying tp manipulate me into saying it was okay.
How does she know he is telling the truth - has she visited him at his place?
My first bit of advice would be to move out of the house, or she has to move. That is just wrong straight off the bat.
Secondly, tell her you DGAF about her sex-life, and she needs to stop talking to you about it immediately.
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