Depends on the relationship each parent has with their kid.
No problems here, but I’m not going to tell others who should do what, as long as it’s done.
Very interesting book! It makes it even more challenging when it’s unexpected.
Checkout the raising children website.
You’ll find some good information there.
https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/development/puberty-sexual-development/teenage-sexuality
Andrew Fuller is a always a good one, Melbourne psychologist that specialises is strengths based approach in childhood. Really good resources.
https://andrewfuller.com.au/free-resources/
You can also contact your local community health centre. They have sexual health educators, who can give you some advise on an age appropriate approach regarding sex education.
1 Like
It’s vital.
Men rarely want to talk about sex. Other than being in a bragging, humorous, or condescending way.
I recently went to a sexual health conference for work. I was one of the only men in the room of a few hundred people. It was alarming how few men want to have a proper conversation about sex and the lack of men working in the sexual health sector.
1 Like
“It’s like cuddling… only damper.”
1 Like
Not a dad.
But i remember i asked my folks as a little tacker not the other way around.
Just tell her the truth? Usually works for me in most conversations.
Whats more awkward? Talking about sex or talking about an unwanted teen pregnancy?
When my daughter was about 5 to my surprise asked me, “what’s this sex thing all about?”
I tried to deflect a little by telling her that your sex is whether you are a boy or a girl.
She is far to clever for me and just rolled her eyes and said “ no dad, the stuff about the babies”
She had me.
I just told her the truth, the biology and that it works best when love is involved.
Seems the honest and clear approach worked for me. She has never hidden the truth from me about her life and is now happily married with kids of her own.
8 Likes
Had the talk with my eldest when he was 10. He is also a high functioning autistic. We just went scientific with him. He listened, looked at me, said “well that’s sort of gross” and never mentioned it again.
My other two haven’t asked yet and I have always believed in waiting for them to ask rather than going too early
I agree, although I have 5 and 7 year old boys. Always have taken the approach of just playing it straight - never to young and kids are generally more accepting of new info than adults.
Funny story, somehow having kids came up at a family shin dig and the discussion revolved around their aunty and uncle who can’t have kids. My youngest, then 4 and a bit says “its easy uncle Aubrey all you need to do is put your ■■■■■ in Charlotte’s vagina”.
End of story…
I guess really there is no right or wrong, but I personally think earlier is easier and probably less awekward, that said go with what feels natural.
5 Likes
4 Likes
Formal sex education was done via Science in year 8. By then it was too late. We learned all we needed to know after about the first 3 days of high school. Even that was slow by some standards.
A year or so prior to that my mother had given me a book to read. She didn’t really tell me in advance what it was about, and was clearly embarrassed to discuss the subject with me. My step father wasn’t involved in any discussion. l started to read the book, but it was pretty boring so l put it dow after a few pages and never went back to it.
I’ve got two boys.
What do the black squares mean?
Only one child and I reckon he was about 7 or 8 when we had the first proper chat after I found a few stick mags in his room whilst cleaning.
Needless to say I did further “research” into said magazines
4 Likes
Woah. My eldest boy is 7 and last night I had to fast forward through the love scene in Top Gun. Can’t imagine him hiding mags at this age.
Also my Dad is 80 and can barely use an iPhone but I wondered how to tell him about online ■■■■… I mean, what a time to be alive, amiright?
1 Like
Monash Uni had done some extensive research regarding sex education. One of the questions they asked participants (between 13 & 18 years of age);
“who do you go to for information & advice about sex?”
Of the 15 options that could be chosen, every age and gender had their mother in the top 3.
Fathers were the least likely person that teenagers would turn to for information about sex, in every gender and age group.
The top 3 was consistently the Internet, a friend and their mother… older sibling was also high on the list for girls. Po*rnography was consistently in the top 5 for boys.
Remember talking to my daughter then five. I explained as simply as possible. She looked me in the eye and said, “Oh is that all.” Then said, “How will I know if they’ve had a shower?” I said trying not to laugh, you’ll have to use your intuition and your nose. She said, “I’m not putting my nose down there. She then said I suppose you’d know, that’s what you do.” And walked away, that was the end of the conversation until she was 13. My partner and I laughed and laughed.
2 Likes
5 ?
Geebus…why so young ?
Did she ask ?
1 Like
Thank fark.
2 Likes
She did ask. Staying over at cousins place saw or heard something on t.v. that maybe the adults didn’t know the kids were present in the room. They overheard conversations, heard noises and came home and asked questions because she was curious about what she heard and what she perhaps saw.
We did not make a big deal out it and kept it low key. We had always said when she asked we would tell her the truth in the simplest possible way because kids are usually happy with that. Kids can also tell or sense when parents are lying or trying to make stuff up. When I said what I said, meaning you can usually smell someone who hasn’t had a shower, (the old saying they are on the nose) she didn’t take what I said about the nose, exactly how I meant it. If you catch my drift. God we laughed and I felt like such a dill. It was a good lesson for us as parents to ensure our language was clear, concise and always get feedback to ensure the kids heard it as we meant it.
3 Likes