Training Report - 05/04/18

Writing it up, hang on a minnie.

Interim Report:
Someone new in a moonboot.

Jesus!! Come back and it’s hell broken loose! I type slow, ok???

‘twas a chilly and overcast training session today and I was shivering a little as I wrote my notes – and true to Melbourne weather, the sun broke through and I was sweating by the end of it.
I was greeted by a group of 18 kids, each wearing different team colours. They were as noisy as fark, the little rugrats. One of them yelled out “hey it’s Daniher! Look it’s Daniher! Daniher – get me the ball!” Right.

From the outset, let me prepare you for some bad and good news. We have a new person in a moonboot. Yep. Practically immobilised. The good news is, I have no idea who it is. Didn’t look like anyone I could recognise. Prolly a staffer.

Modified group on the 2nd ground were
McNiece, who was running, marking and kicking well. Looked perfectly fine.
Colyer, running at about 75% and kicking lightly
Ambrose, handling a ball with a glove one, not much else.
I did not see Hurley

There were three, 15min match sims after warm-ups. Francis did full training as did Fanta and I’ll have more on them later. The training today was standout to me, for its intensity and feeling. There was a lot of energy, much (unusual) swearing, a bit of niggle and some curt and straightforward ‘instructions’ from players to each other.

Players swapped position throughout, but match ups were – Zerk/Ridley on Hooker – at one point, Hooksey was on the sidelines complaining to trainers, and Zerk yelled out from the 50m – “you ok, Hooksey? Response was ‘Nah’ and a shake of the head and a laugh. Make of it what you will.

There were several calls of ‘too many handballs!” There was a focus on spreading, making space, positioning, and kicking. Clarke made a few nice passes by foot. Mutch was impressive playing outside mid.

A long huddle of about 15mins followed the 1st segment. Lots of instruction by Whoosha, and this happened again after the 2nd segment. Players swapped out red/green tops and went again, this time with a minimised group, and a secondary group doing centre clearance drills.

This 2nd group was composed of Francis, Mutch, Clarke, Laverde, Langers, Begs, Redman, Luey & Houlahan. There’s a pattern, there.

Ridley looks very light. But he did some nice things, including beating Hooksey at one point. To be fair, Hooksey was tutoring him along the way., telling him where would be good to stand, and a few other tips. JoeDan didn’t join in after the 1st qtr and went to the 2nd ground for a quick jog, then went inside.

I mentioned the intensity. There was a pass from Stewart, who played mainly at CHF, that dropped short to Hooker. TBell yelled out – twice “That’s not ■■■■■■■ good enough, Stewie. Not ■■■■■■■ good enough”.

TBell was one of a number of very vocal players. Hartley, Green and Stewart were all very instructive, organising the forward line, as well as instructing the younger defenders. Walla put in a beautiful smother on a Hooker stab to great cheering.

Some player focus:

Fanta looked good. Fast, nimble, energetic. Almost certain he’ll play.

Myers also looked good. At one clearance, he shoved Stringer, out-bodying him using strength, and cleared the ball.

Lavender played as a forward and though he showed a little bit (man he’s a big boy) he has a way to go. Redman defended on him who had a nice turn of speed and good delivery by foot.

Stringer was ‘ok’. Though there was a point were the ball was hot, he wheeled a couple of times and delivered fat-side to someone under pressure. There was a call from someone …’who’s free, Jakey??? Who’s ■■■■■■■ FREE???”

Pidge and Smith were smooth as silk, as usual.

After match sim, groups split for drills. I couldn’t see the back-men on the far end.
Forwards were – Stewart, Fanta, Begs, Lavendar, Green, Jerret & Walla. Drill was a toss of the ball to the ground to advantage of one of two players, who needed to gather, evade and goal while the other defended. Green made a nice candy-sell and snap goal on Begs to much laughter, followed by Begs ‘don’t argue’ to Jerret.
Fanta also spent some time schooling McGrath on set shots.

The center group consisted of – Parish, Stringer, Pidge, Myers, Langers, Zerret & Zaka.

A bit about Francis
I’m a little biased and have been emotionally invested in this kid for a long time. However – he is just so impressive. He rarely gets beaten, by anyone. He ran well and lightly, he intercepted well, his positioning is elite. He uses his body mass extremely well in contests. He has great bursts of speed. Seriously, if he comes right he will be one of the most valued players we have had of the decade. Hurley+. It was lovely to see the boys get around him, also. Fanta giving him a hug. Hooker purposefully going up to him and having a joke. Begs back slapping him. It was really warming.

Also met a guy called ‘Daniel’ and had a chat. So ‘Daniel’, if you’re here, nice meeting you :slight_smile:


Are we there yet?


Sit tight and be confident.

1 Like

never seen a preemptive strike like this.


closes office door and turns out the lights


Begbie just Bradbury’d you


If this isn’t the greatest report ever im burning Blitz down


It has been 10 min already, and my boss just came in. Hurry, damnit!

Any danger of an interim report (take out the bits etc etc) @Deckham?


BBlitz blasts Deckham for typing too slow.

1 Like

Its the training report showdown.

Surely some dot points for now just to get us though to lunch. You can add in more detail later:

  • Hooker, clunking em

  • Myers, hoofing it

  • Orazio, moving at light speed

  • JD, bombing them for the center square with 100% accuracy

  • Stringer, don’t arguing till the early morn

I need something now damnit!!!


Deckham: having an afternoon nap


You can put 1 Deckham on a typewriter for 20 minutes and he cannot produce a training report.

Maybe he’s gone to get a new ribbon?


Deckhams position is untenable. Don’t show up to the Nobby award ceremony

Essendon membership department inquiring if Deckham would like a job in their card mailing division.


Deckham making it all about himself.



Is this going to happen before lunch is over?