team’s still sht, and the circles the coach chat goes round in are getting increasingly smaller on every lap. time for a new simmo thread.
today’s topic is inspired by watching have you been paying attention the other night. i might just be getting older and cantankerous, or it might be the calorie deficit, but that show is going downhill. same people rehashing the same gags.
but i feel it didn’t really go in the what annoys you thread, because it didn’t annoy me. i just felt kind of dreary. and so it’s inspired a new area of thought - aus slop
aus slop, like ai slop, is something that doesn’t bring joy or anger or cringe - just a sense of ennui, an “oh, this again”, but that’s very specific to life in australia.
at the very top of this list - the aussie aussie aussie chant. well overplayed, but not to the point of ire. just elicits a sigh. next is pete helliar, as inspired by monday’s tv viewing. did bevan the musical, strauchanie, and then nothing notable in the 20 years since but he’s still on the telly. and thirdly the phrase “not happy, jan” used unironically in a workplace setting.
submit your nominations below and i’ll decide if it goes on the list or not
the aus slop list
- aussie aussie aussie
- pete helliar
- not happy, jan
- taxi!
- hamish & andy
- when an american references “shrimp on the barbie”
- touting a “democracy sausage” as a key feature of elections
- horses by daryl braithwaite when sung by crowds of people who are not at a daryl braithewaite gig
- 2020s mick molloy
- out of context kath & kim impressions
- knock off buddhist prayer flags in share houses
- complaints about songs on the triple j hottest 100 from people who don’t listen to triple j any more
- ads for the block/masterchef/mkr/mafs etc etc being over the top dramatic every time
- unwarranted green & gold parochialism by legacy media during major sporting events
- going to south east asia “for the culture” but never leaving the resort, or pubs that have the footy on
- being in brisbane when you don’t have to be
- the fading memory of moomba being a big deal
- grovelling fealty to anyone notable from the northern hemisphere who is here in person
- black fingernails red wine by eskimo joe
- hollow platitudes in any women’s sport about the fierceness of the competition
- former athletes shoehorned into generic tv hosting roles after ian thorpe’s undercover angels
- jack riewoldt warrants a separate line item to the above
- the reverence afforded to “up there cazaly” every september
- the glamorization of the shoey
- animal caution roadsign paraphernalia in souvenir shops
- the samuel johnson voice
- australian tv dramas that star asher keddie
- great northern beer